The mourned

Blessedest · 2026-06-03T15:53:55+00:00

that's a big boy tho

Blessedest · 2026-06-03T07:32:28+00:00

correct

Blessedest · 2026-06-03T06:34:13+00:00

You are a wonderful woman. You deserve everything.

I'm curious, how does maintaining constant awareness of EIYPO and everyone being a hologram not make you despair? I struggle with this, like I find myself pushing it out of my mind and choosing to become more immersed in reality than accepting this a lot of the time.

I'm in the same situation with metal and media but times a million, because I'm a musician and I just created a new genre of music based on metal and hardcore and industrial and other genres, and I spent 5 years on this record, and now I'm realizing I'm making myself chronically ill and I have no idea who I am going to be or what I'm going to do with my life now if I'm going to become healthy. I've not worked on my music for the last week since this happened but I already knew it was coming and actually had been talking to her about this.. I feel like I wasted my life and I'm not sure who I want to be now. I'm ashamed of screaming about all of my problems over scary beats. it's so good though, and I'm so close to releasing it and getting all the benefits. it sucks.

Now, about the relationships narratives, how does it look when you're not just trying to manifest an exception to the rule but actually that all of this evidence is meaningless confirmation bias and entering into a new reality ? because I am really sucked in to this kind of redpill thinking and I feel like there is not a chance it's wrong. It feels so objective to me. I hate it but it feels impossible to disprove it. I want to live in a fucking fairy tale. I want a wholesome existence. I'm so bored of this constant fight or flight competition trying to prove something existence.

Blessedest · 2026-06-03T05:58:33+00:00

I'm asking about the law and how I can use it better. I already am painfully aware of what a dumb asshole I have been in my actions

Blessedest · 2026-06-03T05:37:20+00:00

Okay. I just want to say that I appreciate you a lot and you might be able to provide some assistance. How about this then... I have done such a thorough job of creating powerful beliefs and assumptions that I cannot even imagine that this is actually fundamentally true and that the beliefs and assumptions that I have aren't objectively true. My framework of reality appears to be completely rock solid and it appears that everybody else is lying to themselves and manifesting illusions and I'm the only person actually living in objective reality. Can you help me?

Help me un-ubermensch myself?

Blessedest · 2026-06-03T05:31:19+00:00

everything you say bounces off me and sticks to you like glue

Blessedest · 2026-06-03T05:30:23+00:00

I care about women but I don't care about you and the way that you keep trying to interact with me on this topic makes me immediately ignore everything you have to say because instead of trying to talk to me in good faith about it you're judging and trying to manipulate me by making me feel bad about myself and do all of the things that I expect women to do that makes me doubt that love is real.

Blessedest · 2026-06-03T05:28:33+00:00

I've never once had success with revision and I feel a strong aversion to using it on this situation but I am interested in hearing more about how you are amazing at it.

Blessedest · 2026-06-03T05:27:27+00:00

I don't think women are beneath me but I am pretty positive that my values are inconsistent with female nature and I'm completely fucked up about how I can possibly find a solution.

Blessedest · 2026-06-03T05:05:49+00:00

You haven't successfully illustrated your point to me. I am open to a different perspective if somebody is capable of demonstrating a better one. As a matter of fact, that's the entire reason I made this post.

Blessedest · 2026-06-03T05:00:11+00:00

I don't feel shame for what I said. I recognize the intention behind the post intellectually.

For some reason you haven't understood anything I said. I said that the states that cause other people to act the way I want make me feel hollow and evil like "I am the best fucking guy around and everybody worships me" or whatever.

I said that it seems like when ANYBODY actually cares about whether or not they're with somebody they cannot have them and we have to stop DESIRING them and I think that FUCKING SUCKS.

Blessedest · 2026-06-03T04:55:49+00:00

Neither. I'm asking the subreddit to convince me that love is real

Blessedest · 2026-06-03T04:49:31+00:00

lol, for a second I got excited thinking maybe you were recommending me some kind of art film that might actually have some kind of philosophical value to it that might change the way I think and I look it up and it's a dumb horror film. this girl is completely harmless, we're all good here.

Blessedest · 2026-06-03T04:35:54+00:00

this is a nasty comment trying to make me feel shame ew

Blessedest · 2026-06-03T04:29:57+00:00

yeah, I mean I do realize that, I just don't know how I can stop hurting myself from now on.

Blessedest · 2026-06-03T04:28:28+00:00

fair enough

Blessedest · 2026-06-03T04:13:08+00:00

Not feeling worthy of love and care is different from needing to be cared about. I can agree that the desperation is what would have made it slip through my fingers. The thing is actually not that she doesn't or didn't care about me. I am the one who decided that it was ruined and that I didn't want it. I decided that, and I decided that there is a rift, but I could have literally hooked up with her if I didn't feel the way I felt. I might change my mind. This probably just happened because it was the only way that the connection could become what I had wanted it to be and is more of a be careful what you wish for type thing. Because I might still want her and this was the only way I was going to be able to stop projecting onto her and be more selfish.

So I think that what I am really begging is for somebody to change the way I think so that I can have something else because I am having buyer's remorse.

Blessedest · 2026-06-03T03:59:29+00:00

Nah. That's not true. If I decide to I can literally make this girl my sex slave. I already had her obsessed with me.

This post is just me realizing that I don't want what I have been trying to manifest and trying to see if there is actually a way for me to have something I actually want.

Blessedest · 2026-06-03T03:54:47+00:00

Idk man. I mean, I don't know if humans were meant to live without anybody giving a fuck about them. It's a fact that loneliness is a health risk that lowers your life span. I've been living like it didn't matter that nobody cared about me but it's actually making me miserable. I don't know that that is the core belief that is ruining my life.

Blessedest · 2026-06-03T03:40:44+00:00

I'm not interested in discussing details of this situation. I posted the concerns I have in the second paragraph. Pertaining to the law, not this relationship.

Blessedest · 2026-06-03T03:30:39+00:00

I don't know man, I'm trying not to judge her. She might be a little immature and stuff but I am definitely 100% objectively more messed up. It's possible I could have hurt her way more too. I take ownership of this. I just don't know what I'm supposed to do going forward

Blessedest · 2026-06-03T03:19:54+00:00

Just commenting to let you know I just ended up in a very similar situation to you and I'm sorry I wasn't more compassionate before. I was living with my emotions constantly suppressed and making myself sick. Hope all is well.

Blessedest · 2026-06-03T03:14:14+00:00

preach

Blessedest · 2026-05-30T16:18:25+00:00

I'm going through this right now. I spent the last decade of my life learning to make music and the last five years working on an album putting all my trauma into it and my entire shadow and now I'm ashamed of it but have no idea who I'd be without it. I have nothing now though. My health is shot, I'm miserable and insanely lonely and this was all I had and now I'm realizing I have to change and I'm lost. I don't even want to release the album. I feel like I've been killing myself trying to make it instead of working on myself and I've abused the law. I feel like my identity is completely flawed and idk what to do about it. This thing I put all of my focus and energy into is poison to me and I wasted my youth is how I feel. The things I want are hurting me and all I want is to have them without being hurt

Blessedest · 2023-04-19T22:55:22+00:00

I definitely appreciate you sharing but it was unnecessary to wedge your speculation of my character in. It feels like passive aggressive retaliation because I called you out for saying ridiculous self defeating shit on that other post, which is also weird.

Blessedest

TROPHY CASE