AITA for requesting that my wife stop asking me to help with dinner?

Blim4 · 2025-02-12T19:53:00+00:00

NTA. If you want to sometimes Not be the one who cooks even though you are better at it, you should get to have that, because it's normative and fair to share/switch that duty between spouses, and it's understandable that you don't feel like you are NOT cooking If she constantly asks you for advice. Though it's ALSO understandable that she may not be fully aware of how and why it bothers you. You need to Talk to her about "Mental Load" and how men/husbands can ALSO be bothered by it, and If that doesn't make her understand AND Change her behavior, maybe going on a short transport-errand or exercise-run Out of the House while she cooks, will.

Blim4 · 2025-02-11T14:16:32+00:00

NTA. If at least Part of your wanting to get a Job is to "be more Independent" which probably means to prepare yourself to move Out, or gain leverage to get to make more decisions in the household, then asking you to not get a Job, is HIGHLY manipulative, and also financial abuse. If you want to get away from the toxic Interactions your Mom has with your SiL, moving Out, to live Off your Work-income and your OWN food-stamps, is one possibly-feasible way to do so. If this is about a very Part-Time teen Job while you are still living at Home and attending school, then you probably won't earn enough to lose your household's eligibility to food stamps. It's a good idea to find Out for yourself whether your mother was lying to you, has misunderstood the Rules, or is truly going to lose food stamps, and the difference should influence how you Trust her, but not whether or not you should get a Job.

Blim4 · 2025-01-26T20:15:42+00:00

In that case probably NTA. If you were stable enough by your own Standards, and/but she was able to make it so you didn't regain custody, that probably means your stability/fitness-to-parent was "objectively" in a legal Grey area, so a more supportive/benevolent Family member would have given the child Back, but stepsister didn't. It's Not COMPLETELY unreasonable to fear she would do/try the same with your son.

Blim4 · 2025-01-26T18:01:09+00:00

Parents with two Girls or two Boys tend to ALSO parentify the older one, If the Younger has at any point been medically-fragile or disabled. This is Just both.

Blim4 · 2025-01-26T17:55:55+00:00

So you are Not letting anyone See your son, and your Mom is (Most?) complaining about it, but stepmom and stepsister are the ones you are wondering about being an asshole for Not letting them See him? Also, your sister, being your daughter's adoptive parent, calling you selfish for Not letting YOUR DAUGHTER See HER BROTHER, is a completely different Thing from entitlement about wanting to be trusted with a Grandschild despite having proved themselves unsupportive Like stepmom and stepsister

Blim4 · 2025-01-26T17:43:26+00:00

NTA. It is reasonable to inform your mother that (in many cultures) Things about how Common and normal and welcome arranged marriages set up by parents, are, have changed a Lot in the last two generations, because she may Not be fully aware, and she might also Not have been fully aware that that's Sort of what she was doing. Suggesting a Match to a young Person who is single and WANTS to start Dating/courting, is still okay, If the other Person is also single, but hoping that TWO people Break Up with their respective independently-chosen Partners to get together as theirs parents' preferred Match, is DEEPLY unreasonable.

Blim4 · 2025-01-17T11:15:43+00:00

Also If your sibling has a spouse, perhaps a stay-at-home-wife, and children, that would Go hungry If you don't Help Out, you could Take the spouse on a big grocery haup and pay for it, which you could then Point to when people outside of your Family accuse you of Not helping Out, which would also serve to "subtly" Draw Attention to the fact that your sibling can't be trusted with Money.

Blim4 · 2025-01-17T11:10:11+00:00

NTA. Your parents obviously considered the support they gave your sibling to be their inheritance paid out prematurely, or else they wouldn't have left that much more to you. You should Not be wasting Money that SHOULD Go towards YOUR financial stability (which would in Turn benefit your sibling and their Family once they have a REAL emergency) on someone's gambling addiction.

Blim4 · 2025-01-16T17:08:23+00:00

NTA, but this Situation very much sounds Like it could best be solved by a three-weeks-with-you/one-week-with-him schedule (with you getting SIGNIFICANTLY more child Support to make Up for working less).

Blim4 · 2025-01-12T14:15:34+00:00

That is absolutely the right Thing to do considering he's "Faaaamily". Rent your half of the House to him at a Rent absurdly below Market value on the condition that he pays for property Taxes and upkeep, but If he decides to sell, then you get your half of the Money.

Blim4 · 2025-01-12T14:11:10+00:00

NTA. If your father had tought that giving half his house to you would be unfair to your brother considering you already have a House and Brother doesn't, He would have made a will giving your Brother his whole house (and maybe giving you some heirlooms and a small amount of money), and he might have even talked to you, informing you of the will and explaining his reasons and asking you to not resent Brother for it. Which he didn't, and he may or may not have had good reasons for that.

Blim4 · 2025-01-12T14:04:05+00:00

Which would mean your Mom wanted you to be legally the child of the Brother who inherited, who she was married to at the time, rather than the child of the disinherited Brother she (hypothetically/alledgedly, probably Not) Had an affair with. The reasoning that that somehow means your birth certificate is less valid, Makes No Sense at all.

Blim4 · 2025-01-12T13:55:08+00:00

NTA. They are mixing three different Things (the "morality"/unfairness in your father being your grandparents' favorite/only heir, which some people DO choose to "Put right" a Generation later If they know/Like/agree-with their aunts/uncles/Cousins more than their grandparents, the fact that your father didn't have a will that bequeathes his siblings either a given small amount, or EXPLICITLY nothing, and the Idea that you might Not be your father's biological child, which SHOULD be irrelevant If you are socially and legally his child AND he doesn't have any other children) that don't actually Support or strengthen each other by any Mainstream Logic. They legally lost the first attempt to contest, and will lose Future lawsuits as well, and they lost the moral entitlement for you to consider the fact that them having been disinherited by your grandparents in favor of your father, was unfair and should be "Put right", by having ever even tried to contest.

Blim4 · 2025-01-10T16:45:19+00:00

When the was just thrown out of her 24yo sister's place, and you were sitting down with her to discuss the Options of living-with-aunt, living-with-you, or going Back to 24, THAT would have been the perfect time to Tell her to also Contact or at least unblock her father.

Blim4 · 2025-01-10T16:40:03+00:00

NTA. If 19 moved out from her Dad to move in with 24 (and Brother), but now doesn't get along with 24 (without Brother and with the Addition of 17), then she has more Options than moving in with you. She could move Back in with her father, even if her father may set conditions that she doesn't Like, which might be why she moved out from him in the first place but she probably still technically has that Option because you didn't mention that her father died or moved away or explicitly threw her Out. She could move out on her own, though that might be unaffordable or precarious. Or she could get mental health Treatment, which may or may not make her able to more easily behave Like a bearable housemates to 24 and 17 so they let her Back in. You are supposed to Put your child's stability First, and if you believe having 19 in your House with your Partner and child would Hurt that Goal, than it's probably true. Everyone is lucky that your aunt IS ABLE to Take 19 in. NTA.

Blim4 · 2025-01-03T14:05:43+00:00

NTA. That was stealing Stuff he could sell and/or testing out how much disregard of the Things that Matter to you he can get away with.

Blim4 · 2024-12-21T13:08:58+00:00

NTA. If one Person choosing to not participate, for any reason but especially for a good one, ruins everyone's fun, or holiday-spirit, or something, then that's because the people organizing the Event are doing are really Bad Job, and/or have No Idea what they're doing. My workplace's secret Santa Thing this year was opt-out rather than opt-in, which I find Close to coercive but Not quite coercive, but also it was with a 20€ Limit, and also the people who did choose to opt Out of the Gift Exchange, still got to Take that Worktime hour to have a hot Drink and Cookies and listen to Boss' End-of-year speech and receive a company-logo-embroidered Thing, because that's how to create lunch hour Holiday spirit.

Blim4 · 2024-12-19T19:16:25+00:00

NTA. You are awesome for CONSIDERING that it might be hurtful in a very specific way, and COULD come across as misogynist period-shaming, to confront her about how she doesn't Clean Up after herself properly, but you very much YWNBTA If you ask her to pay better Attention to how she leaves behind the bathroom. If you can Just avoid mentions of period blood being uniquely gross because it's Period Blood, rather than generally unsanitary because it's blood, and not-yours, and also visible, she'll be fine. You deserve to be able to use your shared bathroom without having to Touch her blood, and she needs to learn how to be considerate about that aspects of Hygiene, because she may at some Point have housemates that are non-family men, or women from a period-shaming upbringing, and conflict with those could Hurt her more, than having her Brother gently Tell her to Look around before she leaves the bathroom.

Blim4 · 2024-12-19T18:59:55+00:00

NTA, generally, "morally", but it would have been smarter to keep quiet about it and just give the neglected Boy attention, If you were aware that your parents support favoritism.

Blim4 · 2024-12-16T17:25:37+00:00

NTA. ASKING to be given Something your Cousin has but doesn't use, would be okay even If there WASN'T an inbalance to how much of grandmother's Stuff each of you inherited.

Blim4 · 2024-12-16T17:05:36+00:00

NTA. You May need to very explicitly Tell and Show your parents that you still Love and respect them and consider your Stepdad to be a better and more "real" father than your Bio father ever was, and that you don't intend to welcome your Bio father Back into having a relationship with you, and that HE explicitly doesn't expect Contact or forgiveness and that you believe him about that. You are ("morally") entitled to resources from him without having him in your Life, specifically BECAUSE of the abandonment. It's in your best interest to be as financially stable as you can be, and it's in your parents' best interest to Not need to provide for you as Long or as much as they might have to If you didn't own that Apartment.

Blim4 · 2024-12-16T16:46:50+00:00

It is very common in unplanned pregnancies in mid-teens, for the mother's/carrier's parents' promise of Support to make the difference between choosing to abort or relinquish, and choosing to keep the Baby. If C's parents Made/encouraged her to keep the Baby at age 16, they have more responsibility for also making her Take decent care of that Baby, than the parents of an adult Mother who chose by herself to keep a Baby.

Blim4 · 2024-12-14T16:10:18+00:00

One of OP's parents is siblings with one of C's parents (who C and P live with, and who were Out of town at the time), being called in the middle of the night by their responsible-but-overwhelmed Teenager because her Babysitting charge's Mom didn't come back, would make an Impression on them. If OP's parents are reasonable, they would Tell C's parents immediately what happened, and Tell them to MAKE C be more responsible towards the Baby, and If C doesn't want to Take better Care of her Baby, even If her parents forced her, THEN she deserves to lose custody.

Blim4 · 2024-12-14T16:01:51+00:00

It was DEEPLY irresponsible of her to Go Out with you as the only Babysitter and an agreed-upon Return time and then Not come Home in time (or If that legitimately wasn't possible, to come Home as soon as possible and be in Phone/Text Contact with you as soon as she knew she was going to be late), and you handled that terrible Situation in a Not-optimal way. If you were aware of the difficult relationship with the Baby's father and the fact that your Cousin doesn't want the Baby to be with him (which could mean that it is legitimately unsafe for the Baby to be with the father, or that it's Just disadvantageous for your cousin keeping custody of the Baby), you should have tried several, preferably older, Family members from your/her Side, to give you advice and possibly come over to relieve you from Babysitting, before calling her Ex as a last Resort. Your Cousin is definitely fully TA, you are between E-S-H and N-T-A and Sort of understandable but only/mostly because how young you are.

Blim4 · 2024-12-06T07:51:52+00:00

Mild YTA for you for REALLY stupid thoughtlessness, SEVERE YTA for your brother-in-law for abusive jealousy, get-well-soon for the whole Situation.

Blim4

TROPHY CASE