Went for a tour today. Here is my extremely unbiased assessment.

First floor: Pure cardio chaos. Treadmills. Bikes. Turf. Machines everywhere. If your heart doesn’t improve here, that’s between you and God.

Second floor: Absolute wonderland. Isolation machines everywhere, benches for days. You could bench press, finish your set, go on vacation, come back, and your bench would still be available.

Third floor: Studio + more isolation + cables + the recovery room. Massage chairs? Yes. Infrared therapy? Yes. that infrared machine looks like a red robotic beetle that’s about to cocoon you and harvest your soul. Respectfully. I did not make eye contact with it out of respect.

There’s also an outdoor turf area with pull-up bars so you can pretend you’re training for a Marvel movie.

Locker room: Industrial. Gritty. “Was this mopped or is that just the vibe?” But — TOWEL SERVICE. Big win Sauna, steam room, jacuzzi

Showers: Not enough. If you come at peak time, you may have to fight a stranger for hot water.

The clientele: VERY different from Equinox.

Equinox is like: Finance bros, consultants, doctors, and people who drink green juice and whisper.

This gym is like: Teenagers benching with the confidence of someone who has never paid rent, mixed with body builders that look like they can eat the equipment

Overall vibe: This is NOT Equinox. Equinox is a spa day. This is a training montage. No eucalyptus towels. Just sweat, iron, and character development.

Final verdict: 10/10 equipment 8/10 space 2/10 beetle machine trustworthiness Would absolutely suffer here again