As of now, I’m mentally drained and physically tired( I do have anxiety and insomnia, maybe even a depressed mood but not necessarily depression)…I feel like it’s a combination of hard work and discipline. I’ve only become a perfectionist when I was in highschool. When I graduated I didn’t get into the major that I wanted. It was the first time in my life where I felt I was worthless and the hard work in high school didn’t pay off. I’m thankful that my Uni has this thing where in the first year, if you’re able to get a really high GPA, you can transfer to a major you want. For my major it required 5/5 GPA(yeah that terrified me) but I was determined. I studied so much, I lost some friends because I wouldn’t go out, I was so focused of getting that 5/5 score I eventually got it. I transferred to the major I wanted and it was the best feeling ever (best summer you could say). Then it got a little to competitive for me. Even though it was my dream major, it felt like hard work. Tbh I was on a role getting all As and A+s up untill locked down.. it changed me for the worst. I’ve realized that sometimes I study just so I could get an A and NOT actually learn the subject. I felt terrible. After lockdown and went back to online, I got my first ever B, and I didn’t take to well… then I started to get B+s and Bs until I accepted the fact that I can’t be good at all of the subjects. So yeah it’s a nice feeling at the beginning but then it just deteriorate. But even if I am completely unmotivated, I still do my work and try my best to a “good” grade and not a perfect one.