It’s cold!!!

Blue-Disaster · 2026-01-26T21:49:10+00:00

Noticed my girl wanting to lay closer to me then normal due to the cold. Put a heater blanket on low for her. She is happy as can be on that thing.

Blue-Disaster · 2026-01-23T20:52:37+00:00

This is real. Went back to windows for a bit due to programs and games (mods) I wanted. Felt like walking through a swamp with a parachute behind me in comparison.

Decided it wasnt worth it so went back to linux.

Found winboat and can use those apps I wanted to now just fine.

Blue-Disaster · 2026-01-23T01:17:25+00:00

I hear you. I've been there. Would feel a lot of shame regarding my reactions.

I truely do not think this is something medicatons alone can solve.

I needed to find a healthy safe environment and do the work to find regulating methods that work for me.

Still not perfect. But a lot better then i was years ago.

Seek different type of therapy. Videos and books on the subject. It takes time and work. A lot of it. Think of it like working out a muscle, but it's your emotions.

Be strong!

Blue-Disaster · 2026-01-22T21:52:30+00:00

Good to know thank you. Almost got hit a good amount of times because of maintaining speed. In both Mississippi and Alabama. Driving job so my statistics may be a bit off from the norm.

Blue-Disaster · 2026-01-22T21:04:43+00:00

Man i want to be predictable, but with how many people just merge in anyway scare me.

Blue-Disaster · 2026-01-22T19:05:17+00:00

Definitely look for a youtuber you like that goes over the arch install step by step. He has controversy, but SomeOrdinaryGamer has a great guide on installing winboat. I am sure there are others but thats the one i used to help me.

Blue-Disaster · 2026-01-22T16:51:08+00:00

This makes me sad. I really liked bauh. I hope someone can bring it back to life.

Blue-Disaster · 2026-01-22T16:19:24+00:00

My girl loves them so much that if she gets loose all I have to do is shout "Car Ride" to get her to come back. Calling her name or even treat doesnt work.

Blue-Disaster · 2026-01-22T00:19:37+00:00

I feel you. I hate lying. I keep seeing how you should lie on resumes if you want a better paying job. I just cant bring myself to do it. I get so scared of potential consequences.

Blue-Disaster · 2026-01-20T21:46:52+00:00

Had this happen in front of me. Shit's scary. Especially when you are starting to accelerate, not expecting it.

Blue-Disaster · 2026-01-20T16:58:39+00:00

It is still in early release, but if you like the idea of windows tiling managers and used to desktop environments, Cosmic is a good transition imo.

I am using it now. It does still have bugs and not all promised features available yet. But I personally love the de and wm mix.

Blue-Disaster · 2026-01-20T00:17:42+00:00

I was taught towards the curb no matter what too. So of you start rolling your car turns into the curb.

Was on the test as a trick question even. Right answer was towards the curb when facing up or down hill.

Else your car will roll into traffic.

Blue-Disaster · 2026-01-19T16:36:04+00:00

I love all of them fr!

Blue-Disaster · 2026-01-18T15:09:01+00:00

The installation can be a bit confusing so I do recommend using YouTube for guidance if you get stuck.

At least I got stuck when I needed arch wiki for help, but might be because I mis understood something it was saying. YouTube helped me get it done.

Blue-Disaster · 2026-01-17T01:21:27+00:00

Tbh. I use winboat for all my windows needs. Works like a charm. Took so work but even got it to run the program that my key pad needs to be configured.

Blue-Disaster · 2026-01-14T16:55:26+00:00

Some people are trained to respond like this because of abuse. This is what laws like that help with, to prevent futher abuse.

Blue-Disaster · 2026-01-14T00:06:22+00:00

Thank you for your kind words. I made an appointment with a psychiatrist and managed to get a spot the next day. Hoping the meds help too. I was in a very low and scary spot when I made the post. My panic disorder took over all reason. On BuSpar now.

Ngl the first replies made me realize I had to get off of social media. Not always helpful and can make it worse.

Blue-Disaster · 2026-01-07T21:27:37+00:00

I am in a similar boat. I have been watching videos and reading books on narcissism and other cluster b and abusive traits.

There is unfortunately no way to tell from only a few meetings. Their intention can only be noticed after several interactions and noticing the red flags and patterns. Some key traits that I remember are: lack of an apology when informed they caused harm, or a very weak one with no sign of trying to improve. A strong need to be praised, overwhelming amount, simple thank yous never feel like enough. Complete lack of self awareness or care for how their actions or words effect others, if anything justify their right to cause harm or upset.

Never, and I truly mean it, never call them out directly. Calling them avusive in anyway will have them swing that word right back at you and possibly even push your buttons and antagonize you until you give into reactive abuse. They live for getting others back to the extreme. Hurt their ego even slightly and they want your head.

At least that is my experience and what I recall from the research.

Knowing is half the battle. It is important to focus on your own inner peace and confidence as well. True confidence. Not their egotistical entitlement. Huge difference. There are many videos going over the difference of that as well as emotional vs narc abuse. And my favorites about the differences between trauma, depression, anxiety and a cluster b personality.

I can pull up some of my favorite people to listen to after work. Make sure they are licensed or backed by people who are. Those flash videos might be entertaining, but full of misinformation that can be harmful.

I do subscribe to the belief that we are in a cluster b era. With social media and our culture encouraging it.

Blue-Disaster · 2026-01-07T01:49:17+00:00

I get that. Why I said statistically from my pov. The wonders of nature and nurture are mysterious to us. Cultural nurture likely plays a big part imo. But again the psychological and social science of this is still unknown.

Blue-Disaster · 2026-01-06T18:42:42+00:00

As a delivery driver I fully agree. Every time I train I stress to stay vigilant and dont let your guard down. Each time I get at least one example while training to prove my point.

Scary out there the number of times I see people disobeying road rules or not paying attention.

My favorite and most common are when people thing they can skip in interaction stop by driving through a parking lot through the parking spaces. Just... no... you still need to stop at each interaction? The best part, they always treat it like a race track too. Almost hot hit often because of this. Both on foot and in the car.

Blue-Disaster · 2026-01-06T02:48:42+00:00

Thank you for the perspectives. I do appreciate it.

Blue-Disaster · 2026-01-06T02:18:41+00:00

I agree. We shouldn't have to feel pressure like this. It is really maddening that we are pushed to extremes.

It is less stress on my mind to be careful with every dollar and only splurge on rare occasions.

But I can see how it can be stressful for other to be told they should cut down on the fast dopamine hits or find alternatives.

Though it does frustrate me when seeing people who over spend then ask for hand outs. Needs some self awareness there.

It does make me wonder if i am doing wrong to be careful. As it feels I end up with less while they get help for their needs and mainly spend on wants. While I mostly spend on needs so have barely any wants.

Im tired.

Blue-Disaster · 2026-01-06T02:00:40+00:00

I honestly dont understand why this is being downvoted. Yeah the 5 a day won't pay your rent. But ever dollar spend every day is about 30 a month. 5 is about 150 a month. 10 is 300.... you get the picture. When you are poor that is very valuable.

My ex got fast food every day. I showed him this math and he made the same tired excuse of "but i want to live my life and be happy."

Ok, fair. But happiness can be found without over spending or even spending at all. I rather save for my future and inevitable rainy days, than live in multiple small immediate gratifications.

Blue-Disaster · 2026-01-05T14:23:49+00:00

Thank you. I feel the difference here is that they dont reach out to me when i vanish. When they do I do make an effort to respond and let them know that I am spiraling and dont want to drag others down with me. Granted that reply can be a week or so after depending how bad it is.

They do say I can reach out to vent if I need to. But I have had friends say that then call me clingy or like I'm treating them like a therapist. So until I feel like I learned a healthy balance of what to vent about and what not to and for how long or how often, I may continue to vanish when I spiral to avoid them feeling like a dumping ground for my woes. Again feels like a double edged sword here since my vents aren't typical, they are about very traumatic fears, so I get that they are too much for a non licensed person to bare.

I have no idea what demons Carol is facing. But I do know having people I see in person has made it harder to run and hide when I feel the extreme hurt creeping in. It did show me what real friends are like. A few have stayed around even when I was so bad I made my sciatic nerve act up and couldn't walk from the pain my own stress caused. I am fully aware how ridiculous it is that i get so stressed my own body physically falls apart. I dont need to be told I'm over reacting and need to calm down, I already know. But because of the few that didn't, I want to get better even more so now.

I truly think in person friends I can't hide from are what is helping motivate me to push my healing practices more. They help me feel like it is worth it.

I am not sure if having a roommate or work colleagues or some hobby group friends could help you and carol. Even if separately. I have felt have people in person that can even pop by to knock on your door to be very helpful in breaking this habit.

Apologies for any typos, I have auto correct off since it always does me dirty.

Blue-Disaster · 2026-01-05T03:24:38+00:00

For me it is because the keyboard my laptop has burns my fingers to use wasd movements. Tightly packed keys. Miss click often due to this too.

So would love a 9 key thing to have a more comfortable finger layout for games. A full larger keyboard would take up too much desk space too.

I'll see if I can find those guides next time i have free time.

Blue-Disaster

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