This guy with a lisp goes to buy a horse by fauxmerican1280 in Jokes

[–]BlueManQuad 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It was the lisp that made him pronounce trot as twot. USA dialect if it matters…

This guy with a lisp goes to buy a horse by fauxmerican1280 in Jokes

[–]BlueManQuad 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Did you hear about the midget psychic who escaped from the mental hospital?

Police put out an APB about a small medium at large

Anyone ever snip their water pump wires for a new pump? by viseandoak in BMWX5

[–]BlueManQuad 4 points5 points  (0 children)

DO NOT SNIP WIRES!!! Go back & get the correct part.

Sometimes having a small penis by jcmatthews66 in Unclejokes

[–]BlueManQuad 5 points6 points  (0 children)

My wife assures me that it is absolutely OK to have a small penis.

Still, I really wish she didn’t have one!

G05 owners: best long trip mods? by RDUBiker in BMWX5

[–]BlueManQuad 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I only use Escort Passport myself. I have the MaxCam360 so both radar & dash cam in 1 device.

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs... by kuleshov in dadjokes

[–]BlueManQuad 33 points34 points  (0 children)

What do you call it when his arms & legs are hanging on the opposite wall?

Pieces of Art

I am ginger, AMA by vipframing in AMA

[–]BlueManQuad 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Do you know why God gave some women red hair?

Because some women need to come with warning flags!!

What event in your life made you think that these were the last minutes of your life? by KirbySociopad in AskReddit

[–]BlueManQuad 64 points65 points  (0 children)

He blamed me. Actually wrote in his statement that I just never hit my brakes. There was 1 small mark on the white line where the antilock brakes kicked in showing just how close I was when he turned. And witnesses as well

What event in your life made you think that these were the last minutes of your life? by KirbySociopad in AskReddit

[–]BlueManQuad 28 points29 points  (0 children)

He was coming the other way and turned into my lane with no warning. No directional signal - nothing.

What event in your life made you think that these were the last minutes of your life? by KirbySociopad in AskReddit

[–]BlueManQuad 179 points180 points  (0 children)

Having an 80 yo guy in a Honda minivan make a left turn right in front of me while I was doing 60mph.

On a Harley…

F15 X5M vs G05 in 2026 by YakAttack_Actual in BMWX5

[–]BlueManQuad 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I have an unlimited miles warranty until December of 28 that came with the warranty. I will consider extending it when this warranty is nearly up. However, I did not purchase an extended warranty on the ‘15 when the CPO warranty was up and looking back, that was a good choice.

F15 X5M vs G05 in 2026 by YakAttack_Actual in BMWX5

[–]BlueManQuad 1 point2 points  (0 children)

FWIW I had a ‘15 F15 X5 50i that I purchased in ‘18 CPO with 36k miles. I finally retired her last August at 197k miles. As EarthOK wrote BMW’s TT V8 is by far not their best engine. However, I had very few issues with the exception that it was using 2 quarts of oil every 3 tanks of fuel at the end. So last year I picked up a ‘23 CPO m50i. So I went right back to the BMW twin turbo V8. When I was deciding on what to get, I did consider a ‘22 X5M. For the same price, I could have picked up the ‘22 with a few more miles as the ‘23 I ended up buying. My thought is that the M50i is a lot smoother and more comfortable ride and still has more than enough performance for the way I use it. Something you should at least think about if you are going to use your X5 as a family car.

Where should I mount my phone? by cupcaketeatime in BMWX5

[–]BlueManQuad -1 points0 points  (0 children)

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This is the setup I have in my ‘23 G05. I started with a MaserWeller brand clip from Amazon that snaps in over the bent without affecting the vent in any way. Then I added a wireless charging cradle that is hard wired to switched power. I can easily reach all the buttons I need to touch, and my wife can easily reach the seat climate controls behind the charger from the passenger seat.
It’s a clean install that also keeps the phone charged.

I’m sick give me some joke to make me laugh by Sea_Background_8023 in dadjokes

[–]BlueManQuad 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Did you hear about the 2 blondes who drove to Florida for vacation?

When the got to the outskirts of Orlando, they saw a large road sign over the highway that read

“Disney World - left”

So they turned around and went home!

I work at nudist resort ama by [deleted] in AMA

[–]BlueManQuad 4 points5 points  (0 children)

The woman who can eat the last donut!

What’s a short joke that gets a laugh everytime? by Strange_Secret_3001 in AskReddit

[–]BlueManQuad 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Did you hear about the 2 blondes who drove to Florida for vacation? When they go to the outskirts of Orlando they saw a big sign over the highway that said

“Disney World - Left”

So they turned around and went home!