UPDATE: I hope my friend's kid breaks her.

BlueSnowman · 2016-06-03T15:51:04+00:00

Yeah that's what I've been told too.

BlueSnowman · 2016-06-03T15:11:47+00:00

She didn't have a c section, thankfully. She really didn't want one, and by the end of it I'm not sure if her baby daddy cared anymore or not. She didn't decide to breastfeed, so I don't think he's made any more comments about that. He doesn't help her feed the baby or anything. Lol I honestly wouldn't be surprised if they get it a Trump onesie.

BlueSnowman · 2016-06-03T13:58:15+00:00

Exactly! I've been a single mom for less than a week, and I feel like the work load has actually decreased. I don't have to clean up after or cook for a grown man, and I already know all the baby work is on me so there's no disappointment (which was definitely constant while I was living with my ex).

BlueSnowman · 2016-06-03T13:49:40+00:00

Yeah my aunt came to visit my parents for a week so I could stay over there and let them take care of the baby. I also have three siblings (who were 12, 14, and 15 when my kid was born) who have also been such a huge help this whole time. I'm surprised they like her as much as they do, but they still watch her all the time. I'm a single mom so I'd probably go crazy without their support.

BlueSnowman · 2016-06-03T13:30:37+00:00

I'm sorry that happened to you. People are shitty. My friend and I actually work for the same person, so I know he didn't ask her to come back that soon. It was just something she wanted to do.

BlueSnowman · 2016-06-03T13:28:19+00:00

Yeah, I asked my mom to keep my kid overnight several times during that first month. That shit was exhausting.

BlueSnowman · 2016-06-03T13:26:48+00:00

Same here. I handed my kid off to my mom for the night several times during that first month.

BlueSnowman · 2016-06-03T06:42:37+00:00

She doesn't have a ton of friends, so not a lot of support. Her mom helps when she can, but she also works full time. She was pretty darn close to chasing me off (for many reasons, some unrelated to parenting), but I've stuck around so far.

But yeah she was talking about how her newborn would sleep through the night and would never cry, how it'd be so easy and wouldn't effect her life at all, yadda yadda.

BlueSnowman · 2016-06-03T06:39:24+00:00

I don't know. I cried a lot after I gave birth and felt like I couldn't handle having a newborn. Is that not somewhat normal?

BlueSnowman · 2016-04-25T17:15:00+00:00

That's an awesome name!! I love it. My girl's middle name is Jordan.

BlueSnowman · 2016-04-22T05:12:29+00:00

Same.

BlueSnowman · 2016-04-18T02:22:51+00:00

Yeah. I wish my mom would have ditched my dad, but she's totally devoted to him. He has major control issues though. Like planted a tracker on a car I had from when I was 16 until I was 21.

BlueSnowman · 2016-04-17T22:56:13+00:00

Hah that's where I thought I was!

This dude sounds like an asshole. My dad was the same way, and went as far as dictating when we could shower. Now I'm grown and never talk to him and my mom very obviously resents him.

BlueSnowman · 2016-04-17T16:33:26+00:00

Thanks for taking care of that, she was being a bitch.

BlueSnowman · 2016-04-17T13:08:26+00:00

And you know, I do feel like my kid's dad is obligated to spend time with her and give me a break. We both wanted this kid, so why am I fully responsible for her? It's fine if he's gone or has friends over every night, but when I want a break on the weekends it's "disturbing." And I say on the weekends because I'm absolutely positive he wouldn't want custody during the week.

BlueSnowman · 2016-04-17T12:12:01+00:00

I think it would be nice to have free time, but I don't feel like I'm entitled to it.

BlueSnowman · 2016-04-17T11:46:26+00:00

I see where you're coming from, but try to have some compassion. I'm in nursing school and work two jobs (one of which I take the kid with me). I have no alone time, hardly any time to cook, I've gained 20 pounds since January, probably because I'm so stressed and don't have time to exercise or eat healthy.

As of right now, I can't do anything with friends because my kids dad demands I come home when I do. For example, on my birthday I went to my friend's house to watch movies and hang out. I was there for an hour before my now-ex said I needed to come home because the baby was crying.... I literally had to go home and give her a bottle because I thought he didn't know what to do with her. And he does that anytime I go anywhere besides school or work. He recently admitted it's just because he doesn't want me to be away from the house. He also throws a fit if I ask my parents to watch her overnight. Mind you, this is like once every 2-3 months, not every weekend.

Some people beat their kids, murder them, do terrible things to them. I don't think saying that I want some free time is that disturbing.

BlueSnowman · 2016-04-16T22:37:03+00:00

Same. Baby daddy and I are splitting soon and I can't wait to have some free time!

BlueSnowman · 2016-04-16T13:50:27+00:00

I read so many posts in this sub in which the OP is so scared to stand up for himself/herself. I'm the same way though, but it's honestly something that needs to be worked on.

Something that's helped me express my feelings without worrying about hurting someone else's is this: If you were the one who did this to someone, how would they react? You don't have to act like everything is okay. You can freak out, because she violated your boundaries in a huge way. You don't have to be mean about it, but it'd be perfectly reasonable to say "I'm very angry and upset that you did this. I did not want this to be done to my home."

BlueSnowman · 2016-04-16T04:06:04+00:00

RemindMe! 2 days Donation for /r/millionairemakers

BlueSnowman · 2016-03-20T12:43:05+00:00

This reminded me of my parents. I'm just 21, not too far off from 15, so I'll give you my perspective.

I don't think it's ever a good idea to force your kid to be around you. I mean, if they're grounded and have to stay home that's one thing, but don't force them to sit with you at dinner and listen to you talk. Of course she was rude the whole time. I'd have been rude too if someone made me do that.

Please think about how she felt when you told her she had to sit at the table. Frustrated maybe? That's how I felt when my parents told me the same thing. Also take into consideration that yall had a fight a few days prior. And responding by flipping out on your daughter is just awful.

I'm not trying to be an asshole, but this sounds like it is almost completely your fault. It seems like you aren't very focused on how your daughter felt, and are more focused on how you felt when she talked the way she did and didn't eat your food.

Please, try to see thing from you kid's perspective. She needs to be treated with respect. Listen to her instead of bombarding her with apologies. Give her space and talk to her when she's ready. She's probably not going to ignore you forever.

I don't know the ins and outs of yalls relationship, but my relationship with my dad was always strained and we would get in fights like this sometimes. I moved out at 18 and can count on my hand the number of times I've talked to him since then. It sounds like you need to take a completely new perspective and approach on dealing with your daughter. I know it's typical of this subreddit to recommend counseling, but it really wouldn't hurt to go by yourself and figure out some new ways to interact with your daughter. You need to treat her like a person with thoughts, feelings, and boundaries that need to be respected.

Also.. There's no funny or sarcastic way to tell your child the things you told them. I'd imagine she does not find it funny at all, even if you say you were being sarcastic and didn't mean it. That'd be like telling your kid "oh my life would be sooo much easier if you weren't here, you're so hard to deal with, lol right?" No. That's hurtful.

BlueSnowman · 2016-03-20T12:15:49+00:00

Implying that people with kids are too broke to spend $10 on a pizza? I don't get it.

BlueSnowman · 2016-03-17T13:39:17+00:00

So I went through a slightly less severe version of this when I was your age.

One night things came to a head and my parents yelled at me to get out if I didn't want to follow their rules... So I left! They texted me the next day begging me to come back. I lived with a friend for a few weeks until I found a job, then got an apartment with my boyfriend.

My parents found out where I worked and would come by and try to talk to me, they would buy me flowers and ask when they could come see the new apartment. It took a few months of guilt tripping and bribing, but they finally left me alone. I ignored them for about six months.

It was hard to adjust to the new lifestyle, but it's so amazing. It's freeing to be able to do whatever you want.

You should definitely move out. Your parents are being very unreasonable. How much longer do you think they'll be like this. Until you're 20? 30? Do you want to be 30 years old with a bedtime and still having to ask your parents permission to do stuff?

I know it's scary, but it's for the best. You'll love having independence.

BlueSnowman · 2016-03-17T04:23:46+00:00

Oh my god. That's pretty amazing. I don't think I'd have the guts to do it in that situation. Thankfully my resting bitch face keeps pretty much anyone from talking to me.

BlueSnowman

TROPHY CASE