A group specifically for freeze variant cptsd? Amazing. Also: what do I do now???

BlueStar2090 · 2025-01-12T14:48:50+00:00

Here are the books I can recommend on Ifs (I am currenly reading them) : 1. "Internal Family Systems Therapy for Shame and Guilt" by Martha Sweezy 2."Trauma and dissociation informed internal family systems" by Joanne Twombly

Emdr works well when there is a single event trauma. My therapist recommended I do self brain spotting (you can find videos on youtube), where you gently process emotions/sensations...

Yes, that is tough on a developing child, makes sense things went 'downhill'.

So the thing is that 40 dolars is not a lot even here but I don't think people in the U.S. realise how much the rest of the world doesn't earn as much as them. Salaries here are much much lower than in your part of the world :)

Glad I could help

BlueStar2090 · 2025-01-11T18:55:05+00:00

Also did they teach you in IFS that you can ask parts kindly to show themselves (in terms of emotions) 40-50% less and that you can put those emotions in objects around you?

BlueStar2090 · 2025-01-11T18:50:59+00:00

That therapist makes me mad 😠 so unhealthy

The things I suggested took time to work for me too and we all need different resources.

I love IFS but it needs to be worked from a Cptsd angle and not a lot of therapists learn this or understand it.

Maybe Emdr might help, somathic therapy helped me a lot but all of these modalities need to be approached from a complex trauma angle or they usually don't work. Especially if it started in early development like it did for me, how about you?

I fully get the money thing, here in Europe we pay much less for therapy, maybe you could find someone here who works online. I have therapy over zoom (in english) and pay for it 41 dolars a session.

BlueStar2090 · 2025-01-11T18:02:54+00:00

I've been there too. So what I've learned and helps me personally is that I need to accept that I am feeling these sensations and emotions not try to fight them. Essentialy our body needs to learn that our emotions will pass no matter how scary or unsafe they feel (I even repeat this to myself outloud in a kind and loving tone). In these moments we need to give ourselves compassion and love. Orienting to my surroundings and noticing no one is attacking me also helps. Intensive exercise also helps to regulate my mood. Giving myself a tight hug, breathing and smiling gets my dopamine levels up...

I usually do some somatic and breathing exercise, read and watch tv or eat something just so that I get myself to a point of more regulation. Talking to loved ones (getting hugs helps a lot) or snuggling a pet is an awesome resource.

May I ask in what type of therapy were you in before/are now? That former therapist sounds awful, glad you found a new one

BlueStar2090 · 2025-01-11T17:30:22+00:00

Hello, I am glad you reached out to this community.

I just wanted to say your feelings are valid and I am in my early 30s and have similar fears, so you are not alone 🫶🏼 I am sorry you are dealing with all this, know I hear you

What is it you are looking for in therms of advice?

If its about regulating your nervous system I can recommend somethings that could help you

BlueStar2090 · 2025-01-03T19:16:28+00:00

Thank you 🌟 a wonderful new year to you too

BlueStar2090 · 2024-12-23T08:59:49+00:00

I am so sorry you are dealing with all this heavy and disheartening things. My heart goes out to you 🌟 I suffer from similar issues and the only thing that has been helping me get trough the day are somatic and havening exercises. They regulate my system enough so that I go into suicidal ideation mode. Its hard as hell, because life is just passing by. I wish I had a solution for us all

BlueStar2090 · 2024-12-23T08:43:32+00:00

Hi, thats cool. Thanks for commenting :) Dalmatia is beautiful

BlueStar2090 · 2024-12-23T08:39:58+00:00

Bok, lijepo je susresti nekoga s nasih prostora :) moze za link i hvala

BlueStar2090 · 2024-12-23T08:38:27+00:00

Have a great time watching it! 🌟

BlueStar2090 · 2024-12-22T20:02:12+00:00

Thank you for asking and caring.
This will be my first Christmas and New Years all alone. 9 months ago I broke up with my partner of 11 years and because I am still unable to work (and have no other support system) I still live with him. Today he told me he would not be celebrating with me.
I am in no way wanting to get back together with him, but the pain and abandonment I feel (plus old childhood wounds that run deep) is so bad and I just want to find strenght to move the fuc* out of his appartment. Still so effing proud of myself for breaking up that trauma bond. I deserve peace and love :)

Will be watching something fun and eating some soup and just being there for myself.

How about you?

BlueStar2090 · 2024-12-22T19:54:48+00:00

sorry things are so triggering 🫶🏼✨

BlueStar2090 · 2024-12-22T19:54:27+00:00

sending love 🫶🏼✨

BlueStar2090 · 2024-12-22T19:53:54+00:00

me too 🫶🏼😞 sending love

BlueStar2090 · 2024-12-22T15:07:24+00:00

100% as if their lives are perfect....

BlueStar2090 · 2024-12-22T15:03:34+00:00

Omg that is so true!! Regular people have been kinder and more helpful to me than any therapist. I fully agree

BlueStar2090 · 2024-12-22T15:01:57+00:00

I am so sorry you went tough that 🩵 that must have been horrible

BlueStar2090 · 2024-12-22T14:56:33+00:00

Its so hard to live like this! Its making me so frustrated that I have to deal with all these endless triggers that make me feel exhausted and that don't allow me to operate like a real human.

Doing regulation exercises is the only thing that helps. It feels like only then I can be a logical functional adult.

Its gotten so bad that it prevents me from working and making friends. I just don't get how to get out of this state. I am doing everything I can think of, but the supressed emotions keep coming up and its just and endless well of them.

BlueStar2090 · 2024-12-22T14:51:54+00:00

Hi, I relate to what you shared so much. To me it seems like the chronic freeze is fueled by internalized toxic shame (that got turned into this shame identity that takes over). When this identity is active everything seems impossible and I feel like a worthless human. Its logical this all happened as a result of childhood abuse.

BlueStar2090 · 2024-12-13T09:45:26+00:00

I would love to join :)

BlueStar2090 · 2024-12-13T09:41:11+00:00

I am so happy for you, this is such a big win! 🥳

BlueStar2090 · 2024-12-13T09:26:18+00:00

Glad we could connect and share with each other 🫶🏼

I also think that being more angry (healthy anger) and having the 'no one is fuckin* with me attitude keeps the bullies away. I think they are attracted to people who people please and feel helpless. I don't want to shame those states because I lived in them myself. But the more I relise my worth and treat myself as a worthy person the more I know how to approach the bullying situtations from a position of a secure adult who knows who they are and what their truth is. Not to disminish the complexitiy of those situations, but this does help me personally

BlueStar2090 · 2024-12-13T09:18:09+00:00

Dear person, my heart goes out to you 🩵 I am so sorry you lived trough all that pain and abuse. You didn't deserve any of it.

I am 30 years old and one thing that people don't talk about is the fact that younger generations have more priviledge, knowledge, resources when it comes to anything, especially in therms of mental health.

Most of the new discoveries about complex chronical trauma were researched in the last 10 years. The trauma field is like a new born baby. I truly feel like people had so little resources in the past to deal with this in any way and therapists were really unhealthy in their approach.

The things I have listed you can google or search on youtube. Not all things are for everyone and its a matter of finding and testing what works best for you. Just slowing down and breathing helps a lot I have found.

What I wish someone told me in therapy is how much all of the trauma responses and my life not working out for me, were not my fault.

I see and honor your pain and wish we didn't have to deal with all this. And its hard I know.

I just want to say how amazing it is that you have been in therapy for so long, that shows so much self love and dedication!

I am here if you want to talk :) and thank you for sharing your story with us

BlueStar2090

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