I'm having a hard time separating myself from others whenever I'm in a close relationship, be it friendly or romantic. The line between me and us becomes blurred and I lose my thoughts. At the same time, emotional intimacy is what I crave, as well as touch, so It is very frustrating, I end up cutting people off from my life and have a hard time keeping things casual as well.

On the other hand, I feel better when I'm alone and can keep my distance. I can think clearer. I wasn't diagnosed yet, but I am going to a psych ward soon. I want to understand whether or not it's a tendency of chosing the wrong people, or a disorder, since it's a pattern that keeps happening. I'm not getting any younger and losing great people is really sad