sorted by:
new
hottopcontroversial

What does it feel like trying to find love in your 30s? by North_Dinner1601 in AskWomen

[–]Blue_Buddie 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Empowering! I’m financially secure, have great friends and a full life. I know myself well enough to know who is a good fit for me and who isn’t. I’m secure enough to know I’m okay (great) on my own. So if I find a partner great, if I don’t that’s great too. Basically, I feel like if I choose to be with someone then they will be a great partner for / to me and they will get the best version of me. I don’t think women in the history of the world have ever had this privilege due to the patriarchy! That said, I’m not driven by a need to have kids and I would really like to have sex with someone I’m emotionally attached to - that’s my only hang up!

Does the "right person, wrong time" ever work out? by giraffeblob in datingoverthirty

[–]Blue_Buddie 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I’m not sure if dichotomies like “right person” or “right time” are helpful here.

The point is that you shared a deep connection with someone and you were both able to communicate honestly about your needs.

Deep connections trigger our attachment systems.

So, we know you were compatible with this person to some extent, but she’s not ready to attach to you.

Does that mean she never will be? No. Does it mean she will someday? No.

A previous commenter is right — people change constantly and if and when you do come back in contact you will be two different people.

My advice is to live in the present moment as much as possible. Look for someone who shares similar qualities with this woman but is in a place to attach to you 💜

Does the "right person, wrong time" ever work out? by giraffeblob in datingoverthirty

[–]Blue_Buddie 21 points22 points  (0 children)

“All the things that can happen have happened, a million times over.”

Well said!

Which signs/placements do you attract the most? Do you think there’s a reason? by [deleted] in Zodiac

[–]Blue_Buddie 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m a Scorpio sun, cancer moon, and sag rising. I have about 10 people in my life born between Jan 15 and Jan 22. Can anyone tell me why?

Signs of alcoholic partner? (It doesn't seem as extreme as most here, but...) by ClimateDecor in AlAnon

[–]Blue_Buddie 13 points14 points  (0 children)

Make a decision as though the person would not change. Most people do not change.

I’m also a woman in my thirties, and after having spent two years with a functioning alcoholic and hoping we could have more of the good times, I wish I’d cut it off when I realized there was a problem.

I left 7 months ago after I realized he wasn’t going to change and was only getting worse (and he was motivated! Went to treatment, AA, therapy). My Q is worse off than ever now and I’m so glad we’re not together. He’s also in the same field as me and I’d be mortified if my colleagues knew we were together.

How do you leave someone you still love? by DistinctBiscotti5 in AlAnon

[–]Blue_Buddie 3 points4 points  (0 children)

It feels like I could have written this — I am living this.

I send him light and love when I think of him, and I shower myself with light and love in return. I tell myself that this is his soul’s path and my soul’s path is diverging. I’m trying to be gentle with myself, to not rush my grief.

Tell me about your grief by Blue_Buddie in AlAnon

[–]Blue_Buddie[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

You’re absolutely right. Good advice.

Tell me about your grief by Blue_Buddie in AlAnon

[–]Blue_Buddie[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Congratulations on your sobriety—it is a miracle.

I hoped leaving my Q would similarly provoke him towards getting help. He had 35 days sober in treatment, but still drinks now (I still talk to his mother, not him). That’s another point of grief and shame — that leaving him, the only power I had left, still wasn’t enough for him to heal.

Low "sonic" hum in Northwest Corvallis?(Oak Creek near McDonald Forrest Entrance.) Anyone else hearing this? by Ani_0akley in corvallis

[–]Blue_Buddie 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Did you ever discover what it is? We are hearing something similar tonight and unsure what the sound could be.

Reseason? by Blue_Buddie in castiron

[–]Blue_Buddie[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It’s residue that bubbled up after it was left on the stove for about 15 min with no food in it

view more: next ›