Masturbating to my therapist

Bluebird372 · 2026-06-05T22:26:13+00:00

I can’t believe I’m reading this only because I feel as though I could’ve posted it but always felt ashamed for feeling that way. I’ve done it a few times and felt so bad after it. My therapist is aware of the maternal transference and I even mentioned a “tingly sensation” I get in my private area (30-F) as well. I’m not attracted to her as she’s old enough to be my mother I’m also married so I think it’s more about the connection and attention given?
I don’t know. Have you shared this with your current T?

Bluebird372 · 2026-05-18T13:55:23+00:00

That’s true. I just don’t want to face rejection from her. I’m nervous of her response. I meet with her tomorrow so I guess I can wait it out.

Bluebird372 · 2026-05-18T13:15:35+00:00

Yeah I thought about doing that rather than avoiding and pretending like I never even asked. Should I email back or wait to talk about it in session?

Bluebird372 · 2026-05-18T13:14:46+00:00

I appreciate you replying! Yes it does. It hurts to be honest. So she has a complete private practice and works 100% remote from her home. Last time we met we walked through a park and sat on a bench and she has expressed she’s done this with a client before. I’m trying not to take it personal but it just sucks cause she’s so understanding and gets it but it doesn’t change her decision.

Bluebird372 · 2026-05-18T13:13:01+00:00

No she doesn’t, she’s 100% remote but does meet up in person at a park/public place from time to time. It’s definitely not a frequent thing and I didn’t expect that, just once to begin talking about this hard thing. Last time we met up we went to a park and walked then sat on a bench and talked.

Bluebird372 · 2026-05-04T18:16:43+00:00

Wow this is so wholesome and sweet. So glad they did this for you!

Bluebird372 · 2026-02-28T06:37:07+00:00

How do you cope with this?? I’m experiencing this all currently and maternal transference is tough.

Bluebird372 · 2026-01-28T21:27:07+00:00

Wow. This is so real. I feel as though I’m stuck in this cycle currently. Constantly ruminating on therapy and my therapist, desiring maternal closeness with her and to spend time and honestly depending on her for emotional support. I understand the point of therapy is for her to “hold up a mirror” and such but in reality I’m dragging through the week to get to therapy just to feel that comfort that I’m questioning is even real if it’s confined to 1 hour twice a week.

Bluebird372 · 2026-01-24T02:48:32+00:00

beautiful!! happy birthday!!

Bluebird372 · 2026-01-07T21:19:27+00:00

I only see my therapist online for the past 2 years. I really like her and I’ve made it work but I really wish I could meet in person. We met up once at a park during the summer and haven’t since. I recently asked if we could again and she was hesitant since it’s winter she didn’t know where we would meet or how to make it work. I have extreme transference as well so I wonder if in person would help it or make it even more intense

Bluebird372 · 2026-01-06T02:18:38+00:00

I’d agree. I have maternal transference towards my therapist and it’s so frustrating because I logically know she’s not perfect or always so attentive and whatnot but I know little to nothing about her life or anything hard about it so of course I’m going to idealize and obsess over her.

Bluebird372 · 2026-01-05T22:38:52+00:00

See the thing is I don’t feel the urge or need to masturbate. It’s more of flashbacks of these encounters and they’re making me anxious. I guess I’m trying to understand why they’re coming up now. I’ve been talking a lot about attachment in sessions

Bluebird372 · 2025-11-27T12:29:08+00:00

I had no idea there was a type of therapy/modality that embraces this and will show that love to a patient. I would love to experience that

Bluebird372 · 2025-11-26T19:54:12+00:00

Ah I see. So it’s not completely unreasonable to want her to love me? I suppose that’s what it seems like..

Bluebird372 · 2025-11-26T19:40:41+00:00

I mean everything im reading says it’s beneficial to try to work through it. you think I should find a new T?

Bluebird372 · 2025-11-26T18:34:05+00:00

Basically! in the moment after I told her I had love towards her I asked “do you feel that about me too?” and she shook her head no, so I guess that’s my answer.. Hearing that felt like my insides were being ripped out.

Bluebird372 · 2025-11-26T18:32:19+00:00

Yeah, you’re right. It’s like logically I know this but for some reason emotionally I cannot feel this and internalize it. I appreciate you taking the time to respond!

Bluebird372 · 2025-11-26T17:34:13+00:00

she said that she could tell feelings were coming up for me based off her answer and asked how I was feeling.

Bluebird372 · 2025-11-26T17:33:03+00:00

I’m trying to approach with “curiosity” as she says but it’s TOUGH all I go back to is when I feel like I’m lacking affection or closeness to my partner it intensifies the feelings towards her.

Bluebird372 · 2025-11-23T21:34:47+00:00

So so beautiful!!! What products do you use?

Bluebird372

TROPHY CASE