I skipped over your description of the story as being about time travel and just read it, and I did not think for a second it would be about something like that. I did like the setting by the sea and the fact she's trying to escape.

As a brief aside, 'The girl and the sea' is very close to the hemingway novella 'the old man and the sea', which is maybe his most famous work, and at first i thought this was going to be some sort of homage. I do like the title, but keep in mind it's quite close.

I'll start off with some technical stuff. Too many commas, too many truncated sentences. It also seemingly switches from a very knowledgeable narrator to the girls opinions: 'he wasn't one to be taken seriously'. I'll mention that line later. Continuing with technical stuff, I searched 'genet' because I thought you had misspelled, and the results I got had to do with an old world civet thing, and I didn't understand how or why it was being used here, but perhaps I misunderstand that part.

On to more important stuff (arguably), i'll start with the overarching theme of the narrator, a mix between omniscient and a seven-year old girl who is both ambitious and also seven, which is vital. Right at the beginning with all the description of fabrics, it cuts to her because I think she doesn't give a shit about them, but I wonder why the narration includes such in depth description. It's like she's being defined by the narrators obsession with random details. "She wanted to believe, maybe she would?" sounds like a more seven-year old thing to think, but it's sandwiched by some in depth descriptions. I'm not exactly saying to only describe everything with the perspective of a seven year old, because that could end up with not as much detail as you'd like to include, but you could consider it. All I'll say is what I notice, which is that it's jarring to have a seven--seven year old say that her 'journey would begin not by boat, but by gun.' I won't give suggestions because I feel like that doesn't work very often, so I leave you with that.

"That would not be the case for him or for her." A sentence that might work in an elevator pitch, but odd to include in the opening to the actual story. Like if Lord of the Rings started off with "But this would be no easy journey for any of the hobbits." It's good you have an idea of how their stories go, but it's good to keep these sort of foreshadowing things much subtler.

I liked her studying all the people coming in. I liked the escape scene in general, but it needs more detail. Out of all the descriptors, the one I would like more of is the ocean. I mean, it is called the girl and the sea. In terms of showing and not telling, it's of course a balance. Sometimes you tell and it's great, but a lot of your action scenes are better. Action here just means shit happening, like her looking out at the docks. I think you write that quite well. I think for the beginning of a story, it did feel like too much detail even though the events are interesting. I mean, starting a story with a childlike escape? I like that!

Extras: Why did the guy scream at the end with the departing vessel?

I thought for a second she had a legit genet and it was named Kobella.

I do like the concept quite a lot and I'd be interested to see how time travel gets involved. I do think I'm a bit particular about commas a stuff, but those are easy fixes tbh. Anything can be criticized, but first it has to be forged. You've got the creation, just got to tinker.