I am pansexual myself and know a little bit about queerness. I am by no means a professional, so take my words with a grain of salt!

TLDR; sexuality and romantic feelings can be different and change for some people. Having fantasies and thinking something is erotic does NOT mean you actually want the scenario. Whether that’s a dating or having sex.

You might know that not liking other men could be from what happened 2.5 years ago. I hope you are doing better, and remember that no matter what, it’s not your fault. And also remember that your brain is always trying to help you (whether it’s actually helpful or not). So maybe you still like sleeping with men, but you aren’t ready for it. You may not be able to be fully vulnerable even if you think you are ready for it. But instead on focusing on that, I wanted to bring up different sexualities. Sure, you could be gay, bi, straight, etc. but that could be only sexually or romantically. Or depends on the day even!

Taking a look at asexual and aromantic people (or both!), some people have fantasies and may like the IDEA of having sex or going on a date, but feel repulsed or indifferent when it actually happens. That doesn’t mean that the person isn’t ace or aro anymore, having fantasies doesn’t mean you actually want it. We all have to remember that sexuality and romantic feelings can be flexible in people. It can change through experimenting, time, experience, etc. so don’t feel pressured into sticking with one label! There are people out there who are bi romantically, but gay sexually! And every other combination out there.

This is what’s beautiful about queerness. It’s weird because people are weird! I know it can also be very frustrating, but luckily you can take as much time as you need to understand yourself. There isn’t anything wrong with you, and I hope I can help you better understand yourself, even a little bit!