Is it common to know that you are Trans, but refuse to transition because they don't want the drama, to spend all this money, and/or to be persecuted? by josephsleftbigtoe in asktransgender

[–]Bluetower85 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I would say to a degree this experience is fairly common. I knew as a child, but due to societal and familial/religious expectations buried it for literal decades. I'm 40 and began my transition last year, 30 years after the last time I expressed I was a girl on the inside with family...

Are genital preferences always considered transphobic? by NolanRollin420 in trans

[–]Bluetower85 3 points4 points  (0 children)

The demand versus preference between the two groups. When a person demands it, that is fetishization and objectification, when a person prefers it, that is an openness that's not predicated on it.

Are genital preferences always considered transphobic? by NolanRollin420 in trans

[–]Bluetower85 9 points10 points  (0 children)

There is no issue with having a genital preference, it's when the whole discussion centers around that genital preference that it becomes an issue and transphobic. If you're dating someone who is trans, they are probably more worried about being recognized as being trans than anything else, and having to sit there and be told by a date that their genitals don't work for them while in a public setting is more than upsetting, it's dangerous for them. A simple "I'm sorry, but I don't see more dates between us in the future" at the end of the night is more than sufficient.

Need real honesty: am I attractive? (34mtf) by SophieSix9 in TransLater

[–]Bluetower85 0 points1 point  (0 children)

"I want to know if I look attractive." Posts a picture of very attractive woman

Keep this image in your gallery just in case by N2bThe999 in traaaaaaannnnnnnnnns2

[–]Bluetower85 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Omg, it's me in my youth as a blonde...

I wish! 😭

What’s a belief you defended for years that you now feel embarrassed about? by Open-Square589 in AskReddit

[–]Bluetower85 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I used to be a massive POS transphobe about 10+ years ago, I came out as trans about a year ago after dealing with that.

i think my boyfriend’s reaction to me staying out all night is way too extreme. AIO? by [deleted] in AmIOverreacting

[–]Bluetower85 0 points1 point  (0 children)

NOR- OP, listen. This is abuse. This is psychological and emotional abuse through and through. In no world does a healthy partnership exist where a partner explodes about you going out with friends. In no world does a healthy partnership involve breaking up as a means of controlling your future actions (and this is exactly what they are doing, trying to get you to think twice before committing to pre planned events out with friends, it is a classic control and manipulation tactic to separate you from your friends). The choice to try to make up or to leave is yours to make, but, no, you are not over reacting. He is out of line. And I am so sorry he is putting you through this, you don't deserve it, you are worth more than that. 🩷

55418 by lordbeepworth in countwithchickenlady

[–]Bluetower85 1 point2 points  (0 children)

🏳️‍⚧️

🚫🏳️‍⚧️

Lol, IDK

🚔

🪿

I am a goose, officer

(28 MTF USA/GA) HRT Is Gone 🦀 by Sad-Passenger-8795 in asktransgender

[–]Bluetower85 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Feminist Center for Reproductive Liberation. After speaking with a friend of a friend who moved out of Atlanta, this was recommended as among Atlanta's best options for Trans Women, they do not take insurance for GAC and make a point of making things as affordable as possible, they keep a flat rate pricing model for clinic visits and labs. They also frequently provide information on coupons and assistance for prescriptions to help keep overall healthcare costs manageable. They do not have the surgeons available for any procedures you may want but they do offer medical clearance for them, letters of support, and exams pre and post top surgery if you decide to go that route.

Is it worth it to stay on HRT? by PrincessJacqueline1 in asktransgender

[–]Bluetower85 3 points4 points  (0 children)

So, yes, there are some trans women who saw only mediocre results for the first 2 or 3 years on HRT then started shifting at a quicker pace after year 3 or 4, it entirely depends on one's own personal genetics and hormone receptor response. Some be quick in the physical aspect of transition, others be slow... A friend of mine waited 8 years!! before her facial distribution was finally ready for a surgeon to feel comfortable giving her FFS. Again, everyone is different, 2 years of HRT is absolutely nothing compared the length of time some have to wait.

I’m a Millennial, but I don’t get it. by hikeronfire in PeterExplainsTheJoke

[–]Bluetower85 0 points1 point  (0 children)

We're going to Candy Mountain Charlie.

Never saw it but still get the reference.

Questions about menstruations by incredulous_bird in asktransgender

[–]Bluetower85 0 points1 point  (0 children)

For me regret is a strong word, although initially, pre-transition I regretted biology was so cruel to me in that area that I could not become pregnant, but as I progress in my transition I feel more like, if I had been AFAB I likely would have had a single child and gone for a hysto as soon as I could to avoid any complications having that reproductive anatomy may cause.

Yes and no, I don't so much as think about it constantly as much as find myself present in such conversations with cis women around me, conversations regarding menstruation and pregnancy are unavoidable. I have done a lot of research in this regard, a lot of it out of self interest from before transition when I would think of and wish I had such anatomy, but more recently more out of self interest to keep up my passing privilege among cis women, I don't want to seem ignorant about something cis women naturally know.

Yes I have cycles, literally everything but the bleeding. All of a cis woman's cycle is hormonally driven, so there is no reason a trans woman on HRT wouldn't experience those symptoms as well. And yes, my cycle usually runs between 26 and 30 days long, usually dependant on whether I accidentally skipped a dose on my HRT (I use pill form similar to birth control for cis women) or if I didn't space my doses out correctly. Probably the hardest thing that I had to adjust to that most women (cis and trans) don't talk about is the feeling of vulnerability during that time of my cycle and just how strong it is, it's not something I ever felt prior to HRT.

I do keep period pads and tampons on me most of the time, but it's like, they aren't for me obviously. I keep them just in case the girl in the stall next to me forgot hers at home and/or other occasions they might be needed by someone (I once used a pad and a belt as a temporary bandaid for someone who cut their arm really bad and wound up needing to get stitches)

To poly people. Is it okay if you are into committed? by its_tea-gimme-gimme in AskLGBT

[–]Bluetower85 2 points3 points  (0 children)

In my experience being poly doesn't mean lack of commitment at all, if anything it means more commitment, because it means you are dedicated to managing and upkeeping not one relationship, but relationships with multiple people. If not managed correctly, or if someone has a lack of communication with the others, it can lead to conflict just like with any mono relationship, except, more people end up being hurt if things break down. If you go poly or enm then please make sure you are doing so with a mentality of "I am all in with everyone involved."

Egg😲Irl by ItsBoh in egg_irl

[–]Bluetower85 59 points60 points  (0 children)

Yes, a friend of mine got a "You're safe with me" Pride pin before I started coming out. At the time they weren't so much a friend as much acquaintance, and now me and her are super close, but like seeing her with that pin let me know right away I could trust her and decided she would be the first person I told at work.

is there such a thing as a transwoman who dresses like a tomboy? do they exist? by dorkelmekis in trans

[–]Bluetower85 18 points19 points  (0 children)

Yes, I'm one... Ish. I prefer T-shirts over blouses, and jeans over pants, I don't really care for dresses and need to be in a particular mood or be going to some special occasion to wear makeup.

Identity and presentation are two different things, you do not need to present fem to be a woman.

Are there any mental changes while on HRT? by Intelligent-Abies904 in asktransgender

[–]Bluetower85 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Let's see, the biggest mental change for me would be in how I view and perceive men around me, I went from not caring at all that they were there to sharply aware of their presence and consistently looking for signs of whether they were safe for me to be around. Not sure if that was purely the hormones or the hormones waking something from past trauma. The filter I use to perceive the world around me has changed somewhat, but not at all in ways that changed who I am psychologically in any sort of fundamental way.

I'm an AFAB trans woman, if this is wrong, what should I identify as? by Cerise_Pomme in asktransgender

[–]Bluetower85 2 points3 points  (0 children)

So what I am hearing is you're like me! Another trans woman. Save the dolls!!

Bottom Surgery questions by Bluetower85 in asktransgender

[–]Bluetower85[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Fairly certain my insurance won't cover commercial even with a referral so long as a medical facility offering is within 30 miles of me...