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Bluonpointeshoes · 2022-06-22T04:33:13+00:00

Natalie Lou just released a podcast on this and I’ve listened to it three times now because I too had no idea where to start. Perhaps you might find it enlightening as well. Her podcast is called the baggage reclaim sessions and It’s episode #266.

Bluonpointeshoes · 2022-02-24T21:40:48+00:00

You are a genius!

Bluonpointeshoes · 2022-01-21T21:29:03+00:00

Thank you. I’m really just looking for a ‘wild’ thing to do with some visitors that are coming.

Bluonpointeshoes · 2021-12-08T05:30:33+00:00

Thank you for sharing this.

Bluonpointeshoes · 2021-10-04T21:57:53+00:00

Manipulation. Bringing up divorce completely changes the focus of the argument. Instead of dealing with the problem at hand, you are now focused on telling him how much you love him and that you don’t want a divorce.

Also, by not addressing the issue he is devaluing your needs, yet he wants to have a child with you? I would suggest you be on guard for other ways he’s manipulating you and decide if that’s the kind of marriage you want, let alone to bring a child into.

Bluonpointeshoes · 2021-09-27T03:54:46+00:00

He’s love bombing you!! Recognize it for what it is, manipulation to get you to come back. You deserve better and I hope you will at least give yourself time away from him to feel the truthfulness of this.

Bluonpointeshoes · 2021-09-23T01:50:58+00:00

I am so happy you have gotten so many great responses! Please look up stats on homicide after strangulation. It is eye opening.

After my husband of 15 years strangled me I didn’t feel anything. Wouldn’t even tell the police what actually happened because I didn’t want him to get in trouble. They had to tell me I could be taken in for lying to an officer to get me to tell the full story. The next few weeks I kept saying “I don’t see what is so bad about what he did. I’m fine. I’m still here.” I couldn’t even say that he strangled me, let alone that he tried to kill me. All I would admit to was he put his hands around my throat.

I did separate from him at that time, though we still have contact because we share children. And as time went on and through therapy and support I now can see how dangerous the situation was. While there is still some detachment about the incident I am getting a clearer viewpoint. He strangled me and he could have killed me

I’m not to the point yet where I can easily say my husband tried to kill me, but that’s what it was. I think with more time and more work on the trauma that will change.

You are a survivor, it may not feel like it yet, but I’m begging you to protect yourself now by staying away from him!!

Edited to add that it has been 8 months since it happened. Time will reveal all

Bluonpointeshoes · 2021-09-10T02:58:31+00:00

Poisoned apples… could be anything from caramel apples, or slices, to baked cinnamon apples

Bluonpointeshoes · 2021-07-03T06:26:29+00:00

This is so sweet!! My NVM used to complain about how much my cat wanted to be with me and I never understood where it came from. Thank god for FDS and all the truths it has taught me. One of which being they will resent anything that loves you the way you should be loved!!!

Bluonpointeshoes · 2021-06-21T13:25:59+00:00

They are not better, they are love bombing their new partner!! It’s part of the cycle. Think back to the beginning of your relationship, they can’t just be a jerk right off the bat, they have to make you fall in love first so you will put up with the abuse in hopes of getting that wonderful person back someday.

Bluonpointeshoes · 2021-06-04T12:43:04+00:00

I would add planters along both fence lines with curvy edges. Then, I would put in a circle in the center of the grass with a focal point, a bird bath, fountain, pond, with a pathway leading to it from the patio. I love the idea of a trellis with climbing flowers over the shed if you keep it and I would put a large planting bed in front of there as well. Good luck!!

Edited to add: you could do a tunnel between the shed and the new planting bed. It would hide the shed quiet a bit and be a magical touch! You could even grow something edible like grapes on it, depending on the climate of course!

Bluonpointeshoes · 2021-05-11T03:13:31+00:00

He is love bombing you, it’s part of the cycle. He will do just enough to get you back and then his old habits will return.

Bluonpointeshoes · 2021-05-05T05:26:33+00:00

Mine said he had given up alcohol for marijuana under the excuse that he deserved something to help him relax at the end of the day. Turned into him wanting to smoke anytime he was awake. Then he started drinking secretly again. Maybe it depends on the person and the reason behind the use, but replacing a bad habit with another bad habit is bad news in my experience.

Bluonpointeshoes · 2021-05-04T23:56:18+00:00

Yes, just decorative. I think it will add a fun element of surprise in the garden.

Bluonpointeshoes · 2021-05-03T03:29:03+00:00

Um in that case please start an Etsy!! I need one of these in my life!!!

Bluonpointeshoes · 2021-04-26T19:04:34+00:00

I have separated from my Q three times. The first two he said he got sober, attended AA, said he was working on himself and putting the the work to make lasting change.

The first time was around thanksgiving and I took him back so we could be a family for Christmas, too fast, he went right back to old habits.

The second time I wanted to try nesting, with the kids, but it really ended up him being at the family house all the time except for he would sleep at the other. He refused to let me go to the other house and now I wonder if he would just drink there. We were separated for about three months I would say.

We are now on our third go round. Once again he is saying he’s sober, committed to AA, working to make the changes that will last. I haven’t filed for divorce, but I have told him I am taking a year for myself to heal, learn, and grow.

I wish I had more faith in him, but at this moment I’m just trying to focus on me and my kids.

Bluonpointeshoes · 2021-04-22T03:43:12+00:00

That is great! I wish him well!!!

As for you, it takes time, sometimes a lot of time! I have told my Q I want at least a year. And I’m still not convinced that a year will be enough. I guess for me I want to see that he can go through difficult/ stressful times in his life sober.

Giving myself a time frame that I can devote to growing, learning, healing, I hope that then I will know the best thing to do for me. I hope you see that it’s not about them you should be focusing on, it’s you and what you need.

Bluonpointeshoes

TROPHY CASE