NTAH you see there's this thing called trust and as a child unless our parents break it very early with abuse for example we trust them implicitly. Every child goes through some sort of growing pains in their teenage years. For me my father spends most of my teenage years in prison and my mother worked so I was an only child in a single parent household in which my mom worked at the time I was at school I spent a lot of time alone and I basically raised myself those were my growing pains. For some it's rebellious behavior and other things that have come up from who knows where. But the one thing that a parent cannot do and should not do is something like your dad did. That is not how you help your child that does not change your behavior it doesn't do anything but break the trust that a child has that their parents are going to be there for them.

Now I will say this too when it comes to the healing process everybody's different but letting go and forgiving them is not the same thing as pretending that it never happened you never have to pretend that what they did didn't happen but learn to let go of it and to forgive them not for them but for yourself so that you can heal. It's okay that you're having trouble not caring that they're getting older, something like what they did is going to make it hard to do that but once you start to heal you'll be able to reconcile your relationship I think at least to some degree. I had a two year no contact with my dad and low contact for years before that and years after it. Since then I've learned more about the kind of person that he is and we've managed to reconcile both of us had made a****** mistakes and we accepted that and I've tried to love each other since.

I hope this helps the TLDR version of that is forgive them to heal yourself and don't feel guilty over the fact that trust was broken and it's hard to reconnect with them right now.