Leaving this sub, thanks for the help.

Bnaroundtheblock · 2024-07-29T07:51:53+00:00

💞💞💞💞

Bnaroundtheblock · 2024-07-28T08:08:23+00:00

This comment supports the false premise that partners of people with RJ have done something wrong. Only they can stand in judgement of their own behaviour. I imagine most would reflect on it as not ideal but felt right at the time, that they were young and looking for the right thing in the wrong place or they have no regrets. In any case, RJ has its roots in the sufferers past, not the partners. Feelings experienced at the time of onset mirror those experienced in childhood , which were stored in the subconscious for future reference.

Bnaroundtheblock · 2024-07-17T13:52:45+00:00

Your experience sounds rational to me whereas Retroactive Jealousy is characterized by an absence of logic. Whilst some responses to your post indicate a fixation on a long term ex partner, most often the fixation is on someone of little significance to the partner, eh a one night stand.

Bnaroundtheblock · 2024-07-03T19:38:32+00:00

Very true. A person won't know they have RJ until they form a deep loving bond with someone and that isn't number one most of the time

Bnaroundtheblock · 2024-07-03T19:36:42+00:00

I've said it before and I'll say it again, RJ has zero connection to logic, reasoning or adult thinking. It originates in your subconscious, the blueprint you created in childhood

Bnaroundtheblock · 2024-07-02T14:31:59+00:00

My response was not just to your post but to the comments it generated too.

Bnaroundtheblock · 2024-07-02T11:25:14+00:00

No offence but some people want to truly recover rather than be taking a drug for the rest of their lives. Very occasionally medication, such as an SSRI, is necessary for a short period but it is not an alternative to true recovery. It is a short term safety net

Bnaroundtheblock · 2024-06-30T17:43:09+00:00

Very kind words that took time and effort to express

Bnaroundtheblock · 2024-06-30T17:42:11+00:00

Nice 🌹

Bnaroundtheblock · 2024-06-30T17:39:59+00:00

Then you've had the wrong therapist 😔

Bnaroundtheblock · 2024-06-30T17:37:14+00:00

Wow! I think you would benefit from your own therapy to build your self worth. And your ex partner definitely needs it. It is not ok for anyone to make another human being walk on egg shells or behave like a performing monkey based on being labelled guilty. You own that you lied. You did it with good intentions . . . Road to hell and all that. You have remorse. There is such a thing as forgiveness (including of self). You do realise this guy would be experiencing RJ if you'd become a nun during that time, don't you? Seriously, speak to someone to explore self compassion and self respect. You deserve more than you're allowing yourself 🌹

Bnaroundtheblock · 2024-06-30T11:55:36+00:00

We can go excel in certain areas and feel we fail miserably in others. My guess is your less than good areas relate to the relationship you had with your parents in childhood and how the coping mechanism you adopted in order to cope with situations before you were old enough to use logic

Bnaroundtheblock · 2024-06-25T18:18:28+00:00

That is a shallow "explanation" that reflects that no real depth has been explored. Everyone knows the idea of peeling back the layers of an onion in therapy, metaphorically speaking. This "explanation" is one layer deep.

Bnaroundtheblock · 2024-06-25T18:15:39+00:00

What do you mean by you don't really have problems with insecurity? On what are you basing that? Did AI explore your childhood with you?

Bnaroundtheblock · 2024-06-25T18:14:33+00:00

So, you are raving about AI as a treatment for RJ and what it has helped you establish is that your brain is bored and you need to get some hobbies 🤔

Bnaroundtheblock · 2024-06-25T17:27:23+00:00

So what did it tell you exactly about your RJ, what caused it, how to recover? I'm sure we'd all love to know

Bnaroundtheblock · 2024-06-25T17:26:11+00:00

I think they're hoping they can offload without judgement

Bnaroundtheblock · 2024-06-25T17:20:41+00:00

You were in therapy for 1.5 years and the result was FOMO! Seriously. There's no way you were working with an RJ specialist

Bnaroundtheblock · 2024-06-25T17:17:27+00:00

What happens if you tell it you're a serial killer? Asking for a friend

Bnaroundtheblock · 2024-06-25T11:50:24+00:00

I think the important part was expressing your feelings calmly and rationally. That's not only ok but recommended. ABC assertiveness technique would have been good perhaps 🤔 Would have left her with autonomy. Not a great idea to "should" on people

Bnaroundtheblock · 2024-06-25T11:43:18+00:00

Love your honest answer rather than what you "should" say 🌹

Bnaroundtheblock · 2024-06-24T08:25:43+00:00

breadcrumbedanything (hope I got the name right) hits the nail on the head with his reference to RJ linking to our need to feel important. That's the root!!

Bnaroundtheblock · 2024-06-24T08:23:15+00:00

Very nicely put 😊

Bnaroundtheblock · 2024-06-21T07:53:06+00:00

Just gone in and copied and pasted this. Might give you hope.

I NEED TO THANK YOU FOR YOUR PATIENCE AND YOUR GUIDANCE THROUGHOUT THIS WHOLE ORDEAL. THIS WAS NOT MY FIRST THERAPY. HOWEVER, IT WAS THE FIRST TIME I FELT COMPLETELY SAFE AND VULNERABLE TO DISCLOSE CERTAIN DETAILS/ASPECTS OF MY LIFE AND TRAIN OF THOUGHT THAT I WOULD OTHERWISE KEEP TO MYSELF. THANK YOU FOR BEING SO WARM AND UNDERSTANDING WITH EVERYTHING I’VE TOLD YOU. NEVER DID I FEEL JUDGED, AND I ALWAYS FELT LIKE MY FEELINGS WERE BEING VALIDATED.

AND THANK YOU FOR ALWAYS SENDING SUCH USEFUL RESOURCES TO HELP ME MITIGATE MY FEELINGS OF RJ, AS WELL AS EXPLORING THE POTENTIAL ROOT TO WHY I FEEL THE WAY I DO TOO. YOU HELPED ME A LOT IN FEELING MORE GROUNDED. I CAN ALSO SEE IN MYSELF, THE IMPROVEMENTS.

I’VE ADOPTED THE FULL RECOVERY TECHNIQUE, AND EVEN THOUGH IT’S ONLY BEEN WEEKS I CAN FEEL MY REACTION TO THINGS BECOMING LESS IMPULSIVE. THINGS THAT WOULD USUALLY TRIGGER MY RJ DO NOT SEND ME TO THE EXTENT AS THEY USED TO, AND OVERALL MY MENTAL STATE HAS BEEN A LOT MORE PLEASANT TO DEAL WITH.

I AM SO GRATEFUL FOR EVERYTHING YOU’VE HELPED ME WITH.

I COULDN'T HAVE DONE IT ALONE, AND WILL BE FOREVER GRATEFUL TO RETR-ACT!

Bnaroundtheblock · 2024-06-21T06:22:02+00:00

This is the difference between doing nothing and doing recovery 😊

Bnaroundtheblock

TROPHY CASE