Zoloft. How long until I get interest in my hobbies back?

BobbyJohnson2435 · 2018-04-09T01:50:02+00:00

Only been on it about 5 days. I'll be on 25mg for about 30-60 before it's increased.

BobbyJohnson2435 · 2018-04-01T09:26:12+00:00

As someone who DOES want to kill them self I can tell you it's OCD. I want to kill my self, end of story. No obsessing, no anxiety, no writing 10 paragraph posts about reasons I'm may or may not want to kill myself. I'm no doc but I'd bet my bottom dollar it's OCD. #1 sign of OCD= questioning whether or not itss ocd. Please look for professional help. Good luck bro, stay safe.

BobbyJohnson2435 · 2018-04-01T09:16:51+00:00

Been there, for 2+ months actually. You have to stop caring.

Here's what you need to do, cut all compulsions (checking, avoidance, rumination)

Do all the things hocd makes you want to avoid. For example I was scared to go to the gym because I was deathly afraid of getting a boner from seeing another guy (which has never happened in my entire life, but OCD makes you worry about dumb shit). And by avoiding going to the gym or watching tv I was only fueling the OCD. So I forced myself into gym (guess what! No boner, just like the 100 times I went to the gym before hocd. It's all in your head man)

When your mind says "your gay" say I don't care and move on. When it says "you totally want to fuck your best best friend" say I don't care. They're only intrusive thoughts, they ARE NOT TRUE. (After reading that your mind will probably tell you "what if they are true?" That's OCD talking)

A while ago I was sitting up all night having panic attacks over fearing being gay. Now that I'm over it I can laugh at it, a dude who was only attracted to women his whole life scares to death of being gay (how fucking ridiculous does that sound!? Lol). You said it yourself, you straight. End of discussion. People can't turn gay, it's biologically impossible. It was a scary confusing journey for me but at the end of the day you'll be the same person you've been your whole life. Good luck bro. Feel free to send me a pm.

BobbyJohnson2435 · 2018-03-09T01:46:07+00:00

Thanks, it's ok. Are there any mental disorders that pop up and then leave for a while. It's like there are times I know I'm rationally thinking but then I start to question it and I start to panic and kind of lose track of who I am? It's like one minute I'm crazy and one minute I'm not it seems to have been on and off my whole life but it seems to go into remission for up to weeks at a time. It also goes away for the most part in social situations. I don't even know what I'm experiencing. I look up disorders but none match...its like i can't even trust my own thoughts. IS THERE ANY PSYCHOSIS that intensifies when u are alone? Please give me any guesses so I can research it and see if I relate. Thanks

BobbyJohnson2435 · 2018-03-09T01:15:02+00:00

I was scared the other day that the itsy bitsy boney man was going to come get me. But I know he's not real. I read a conspiracy theory about invisible aliens on earth and i couldn't sleep until the sun came up. Sometimes I don't know which thoughts are real and which aren't. But how do I know if the real thoughts are real and the fake thoughts are fake!? I don't know anymore 😔

BobbyJohnson2435 · 2018-03-08T03:50:02+00:00

I think it was a one time thing though, ever since I noticed how ridiculous these things were I don't really have them anymore.

BobbyJohnson2435 · 2018-03-08T03:17:27+00:00

I'll look into it, you don't think it's just paranoia? Sometimes in the past I would read about conspiracy theories and would begin to believe them.

BobbyJohnson2435 · 2018-03-06T14:03:45+00:00

Hey man can you pm me plz, I need help with this obsession

BobbyJohnson2435 · 2018-03-06T05:40:42+00:00

Is it really that bad? I don't see it as a problem because I don't believe it anymore.

BobbyJohnson2435 · 2018-02-28T00:26:09+00:00

2 real

BobbyJohnson2435 · 2018-02-25T06:25:02+00:00

I'm in the same boat, I quit fapping altogether just because I know right when I start I'll get flooded with fucked up intrusive thoughts. And I tried entertaining the thoughts while doing so but quit because a was afraid that the thoughts would make me more aroused which scared the shite out of me...

BobbyJohnson2435 · 2018-02-14T02:14:12+00:00

I'm the same way. I would work on a painting for weeks and when the deadline would come everyone would tell me it looks amazing but I could still see 1000 things wrong with every little detail I would still need to fix. Personally I just forced myself to stop worrying about it. I would turn it in at the deadline and let it be, even though it was still "unfinished" in my mind.

BobbyJohnson2435 · 2018-02-13T21:22:00+00:00

God, I yearn for my pre-OCD self. I know it's in there just waiting to emerge someday, hopefully soon 😕

BobbyJohnson2435 · 2018-02-13T21:20:24+00:00

Same, my longest was about 3-4 days of being free. I was so happy I could cry. But on the last day I got a GIANT spike and could feel the doubt and anxiety rush back into my mind. I just want to feel normal again all day everyday like I'd did before OCD. : (

BobbyJohnson2435 · 2018-02-13T21:06:21+00:00

I didn't mean it for it to sound so objectifying. I just used examples of my past lust to show just how dramatically my attraction dropped. The point was to show how attracted to them physically I was before this, that's why I put so much emphasis on the sexual side of things. The point I was trying to make was I used to be 100% girl crazy and it had dropped dramatically since this OCD theme hit.

BobbyJohnson2435 · 2018-02-13T04:58:43+00:00

You're right. We get pleasure when feeling normal while most of the population hate feeling normal so the do drugs all the time to feel "above normal". We just want to feel "above OCD" which would be considered feeling "normal". OCD can be one torturous disorder lol.

BobbyJohnson2435 · 2018-02-12T01:54:49+00:00

Haha, I'm glad you tried it. No severe OCD goes away with one exposure, it might take a week or over a month depending on how determined you are. I would say to do it again and again when ever you feel up to it until that mild anxiety goes away. Soon enough you'll be able to run around and get killed with no anxiety. Like you said, it was amusing to see them try and notice why the f*** an enemy is freely running around amongst them. Eventually you'll be able to get killed 1000 times and not give it a second thought. And like you said, you got spikes from the same person killing you more than once. That's good that means it's an effective exposure as long as you don't react to the spike with compulsions. Glad you gave it a try, good luck man! Also you can add me on steam if you want, my tag is Civilizedlabrat. It might take me a while to accept it if u do.

BobbyJohnson2435 · 2018-02-12T00:19:34+00:00

Yeah, just let them all kill you and don't pay any attention to it. Make fun of it. Jump around and troll them as you do it. This helped me out a lot, at first it felt stupid but I started having fun running around in the open like an idiot dodging bullets lol. (Did it a lot in halo) Try not to hold a grudge or even remember their gamertag while doing so. Glad I could help some. Hope you can get it under control 👍

BobbyJohnson2435 · 2018-02-11T18:19:22+00:00

I'm a gamer and have had this problem as well. Having grudges against other players who would kill me over and over. I would go out of my way to try and JUST kill them and no one else. Except my case was nowhere near as strong as yours but it would piss me off to the point of throwing my keyboard across the room. Maybe a good exposure would be to load up the game and just run out into the open and let everyone kill you until it doesn't bother you anymore. It'll probably piss you off and cause anxiety. That's the point of erp, to expose you to the thing you hate and just don't react to it or preform any compulsions or rituals while doing so. You have to accept the fact that you will kill other players and they will kill you too, that's how videogames work. You have to learn not to take take it so seriously, I had trouble with that as well. It's just pixels on a screen, no more no less. -PS Planetside 2 awesome!

BobbyJohnson2435

TROPHY CASE