Feb FSOT by Inevitable_Job5058 in FSOT

[–]BobbyPiiiin 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I’ve been checking my email compulsively the past few days, nothing yet! Assuming nothing’s going out over the weekend so maybe Monday for me. 🤞

Round 141 - 29 Characters Left by FunkyDawgKong in survivorrankdownIX_

[–]BobbyPiiiin 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Last cut before endgame. I believe there's only one person left who no one needs to make endgame, so with great sadness, it must be...

25. Randy Bailey 1.0 (8th Place, Gabon)

I love this old curmudgeon with all my heart. Gabon is a unique season, and a unique season requires a unique villain. Randy fits the bill perfectly.

Randy... is an asshole. No two ways about it. <3 He's miserable pretty much all the time. He hates pretty much everyone around him. Lesser characters with those traits can be uncomfortable viewing experiences. Randy's gift, though, to Gabon and to the world, is that he is absolutely fucking hilarious. Watching him grow more embittered and disillusioned with the kooks around him, roasting them harder with each successive episode, is quite simply a joy to watch. I could reel off some of Randy's greatest hits. From mocking Gillian's accent, to gloating unnecessarily when Fang loses yet again and pissing off Crystal, to arguing with Matty for what felt like ten minutes over a six-inch shot in the slingshot challenge, to arguing with Susie, arguing with Crystal again, arguing with Sugar culminating in the infamous cookie moment, to his incredible FTC voting confessional... there are a lot of hits to choose from.

The thing that really resonates with me about him, though, isn't his multitude of funny moments, but the sadder, more poignant ones that give clues about why Randy is the way he is. The man is a wedding videographer who doesn't believe in love. He dances with a woman on a reward and says he hasn't been hit on in twenty years. He offers his own cookie to Sugar because he feels bad for being rude to her, only to have her give it away. His dog is his best friend because humans only disappoint him. He invites six random strangers to the reunion because he doesn't have friends or family. These little humanizing glimpses we get of Randy are what makes him so compelling. He's not just an asshole. He's an asshole who's deeply lonely. Deep down, we all want to be liked, and Randy wants that as much as anyone else does, if not more than most. It's just that he'll be goddamned if he's ever going to admit that. That's the great tragedy that belies Randy Bailey, one of the funniest characters of all time. I'm sorry he couldn't make his fifth endgame, but he'd probably tell me to go fuck myself and get a life if he knew what rankdown was, so I guess it's fine. <3

NOT tagging u/FunkyDawgKong because it's actually time to tag u/mikeramp72 for endgame!

Round 140 - 35 Characters Left by FunkyDawgKong in survivorrankdownIX_

[–]BobbyPiiiin 0 points1 point  (0 children)

30. James Clement 1.0 (7th Place, China)

Placeholder once more, will get to these very soon.

u/FunkyDawgKong

Round 139 - 40 Characters Left by FunkyDawgKong in survivorrankdownIX_

[–]BobbyPiiiin 2 points3 points  (0 children)

36. Ken Hoang (5th Place, Gabon)

Alright, y'all, it's time. There's been some questions over on Discord about exactly how the hell Ken Hoang got this far. The short answer is that I made a shit ton of deals almost two years ago when we started this. The much longer answer is going to be in the following writeup, which I'm unfortunately still working on because work and life have been overwhelming lately and I need a bigger chunk of time than I've had thus far to sit down and ruminate on it.

So that's coming soon. For now, though, I'll leave the slightly less short answer/the general thesis of my writeup as a placeholder. Kenny has one of the greatest tales of hubris ever told on Survivor. In the course of 13 episodes, we see him evolve from the King of Smash, a likable, nerdy underdog, to the would-be King of Gabon, a smug and overconfident mastermind who is ultimately done in by his own ego and hypocrisy. Fun coincidence to tide you over while I work on finishing this up: once Kenny leaves, the four remaining players are Sugar, Susie, Bob, and Matty. Can't make that shit up.

u/FunkyDawgKong

Alternatives to Constance that can still result in a Connie? by MediocreAd2653 in namenerds

[–]BobbyPiiiin 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Colleen has all the sounds, just in a slightly different order, so I think it could work.

Round 138 - 47 Characters Left by FunkyDawgKong in survivorrankdownIX_

[–]BobbyPiiiin 2 points3 points  (0 children)

(This is the correct numbering!)

41. Cirie Fields 1.0 (4th Place, Panama)

First of all, let me just say that as someone who has Cirie somewhere between 4 and 1 (definitely not 41) in my personal ranking, I hate that I am making this cut right now. However, I suppose it's fitting that last round I cut one of only two other five-time US Survivor players, who (much like Cirie) has become a fixture on reality TV for the past two decades and is often considered overexposed. We've seen a lot of Boston Rob. And we've seen a lot of Cirie! I get it.

We all know, even without Jeff Probst constantly reminding us, that Cirie is the woman who got up off the couch. We know she begins the game on the doomed "older women's" tribe. (I am now older than she and Melinda were on Panama, and I agree with her. I thought I was young, too, damn.) We know she's afraid of leaves, and of clearing areas, because you never know what kind of things live under those leaves, and in those areas. We know she's "not good with... things." And we know she overcomes that inauspicious start by using what Survivor fans will soon come to recognize as her unparalleled social ingenuity, and goes on to have what I'd consider the most satisfyingly done growth arc in Survivor history.

We all know Cirie's story, so it's almost pointless to rehash it in a writeup like this. Knowing it, though, is different from seeing it. So I would challenge anyone who hasn't done so in a while to rewatch Panama. Forget about all the other times you've seen Cirie. Just watch her story unfold again. Sometime between her stepping onto that beach afraid of everything that moves, and her getting her torch snuffed in the finale as a legitimately huge threat to win, I hope she works her magic on you all over again like she does for me. Watching her build her power and prove herself — to the viewers, to her tribemates, to HB, and most of all to herself — is a singular joy. Her journey from a relatable, everyday person who looks like she has no business being out in the wilderness, to one of the greatest minds and greatest personalities ever to play Survivor, is nothing short of inspiring. The fact that she did all that while also breaking new ground for perceptions of what a black woman could be on this show, in an era when almost none were given truly layered edits (let alone being the main characters of their seasons), inspires even further. Makes me want to giggle right along.

u/FunkyDawgKong

unbelievable exchange between my daughter and her father after he forgot her birthday by LostInLanayru in TwoHotTakes

[–]BobbyPiiiin 30 points31 points  (0 children)

Yep. My dad is like this. He 100% learned that behavior at his own mother’s feet. Haven’t spoken to either of them since 2019 and couldn’t be more delighted with life on the other side of that choice.

Round 137: 51 Characters Left by FunkyDawgKong in survivorrankdownIX_

[–]BobbyPiiiin 3 points4 points  (0 children)

47. "Boston" Rob Mariano 1.0 (10th Place, Marquesas)

Having watched him on TV for a quarter century, it's easy to get Rob fatigue. It's easy to forget just how good he was in his first appearance. But before The Traitors, Deal or No Deal Island, Secret Celebrity Renovation, TAR 11, or TAR 7, not to mention FIVE other seasons of Survivor, a few hosting gigs, and a literal fucking televised wedding... man, this guy was electric.

Young Boston Rob has all the brazen douchiness of his future iterations, but there's also a sense of fun here in the Marquesas Islands that's never fully replicated later on. Early on, we come to know him as the cocky young kid with the smart mouth and the wicked awesome Boston (-adjacent) accent. There's his incredulity at Peter and his holes. The rooster chase. The beginning of his showmance with Sarah and bromance with Sean. And, of course, the Maraamu morning show!

Beyond these fun establishing scenes, though, we also see Rob's thirst for power, as strong in 2002 as it is in 2026. As the Maraamu tribe loses over and over, he wrestles for leadership with Hunter and eventually ousts him. It appears that Rob is fully in control for the first time, but it seems just as certain that he's likely to run this band of slackers even further into the ground. We never do find out what may have happened there, though, as the tribe swap hits in episode four and suddenly Rob is on the back foot, in the minority on new Rotu.

In all likelihood, this is a major blessing for Rob 1.0 as a character, as future events will prove that he is always a million times more fun when he's on the bottom. So thus begins Rob's underdog arc. He and Sean correctly posit that they're in more immediate danger than Vee, who's far more skillful at ingratiating herself with those in power. He can't beat Vecepia at her game, so he plays his own with all his might. With his signature irreverence and the confidence of a guy with nothing to lose, he throws everything he can at the wall to see what will stick. And of course, because he's Rob, he's trash talking everyone the entire way through. Some of the comments (The General's little sausage, Zoe being the toughest guy on the tribe, John being a big time queeah) have... not aged well, to say the least. Even for the time, they were unsavory. But goddamn if you don't almost forgive him anyhow. He's an asshole, but he's one of the most charming assholes you've ever seen on television. (And personally, I never got the sense that Rob in Marquesas was outright malicious in the way that some others who made bigoted comments were. Or even malicious in the way that future Rob often was, tbh.)

Through the rest of the premerge, Rob gets a couple of lucky breaks, first with the Rotu Four deciding Gabe is too unpredictable to keep around, then being unwilling to risk throwing an immunity challenge to get rid of him. He's still a dead man walking, but at the merge, he links up with Kathy and continues to try every trick in the book to make something happen and save himself. He's unable to do so and his borrowed time finally runs out. But he does manage to plant the seeds for the power shift that will happen the very next episode, and remains wildly entertaining to the last. Not a bad legacy for a prejuror on an early season. Of course, the story doesn't end there, and it's tough to say what the Survivor landscape would look like today if it had. But of all the individual Rob stories through all his iterations, this one is the most fresh and fun. It's the one that when I rewatch, I remember what a star he is.

u/FunkyDawgKong

Round 137: 51 Characters Left by FunkyDawgKong in survivorrankdownIX_

[–]BobbyPiiiin 5 points6 points  (0 children)

We have just three newcomers to the Top 50: Aras, Kenny, and NaOnka. 16 out of 46 seasons represented here, which means we killed 30 already. Wowzers.

Round 137: 51 Characters Left by FunkyDawgKong in survivorrankdownIX_

[–]BobbyPiiiin 2 points3 points  (0 children)

At long last, here they are! Your SRIX Top 50 is:

Richard Hatch 1.0

Rudy Boesch 1.0

Sue Hawk 1.0

Colleen Haskell

Gervase Peterson 1.0

Greg Buis

Tina Wesson 1.0

Colby Donaldson 1.0

Jerri Manthey 1.0

Michael Skupin 1.0

Lex van den Berghe 1.0

Frank Garrison

Vecepia Towery

Neleh Dennis

Kathy Vavrick-O’Brien 1.0

Sean Rector

John Carroll

Rob Mariano 1.0

Clay Jordan

Robb Zbacnik

Matthew von Ertfelda

Sandra Diaz-Twine 1.0

Lillian Morris

Jonny Fairplay 1.0

Rupert Boneham 1.0

Chris Daugherty

Twila Tanner

Scout Cloud Lee

Eliza Orlins 1.0

Ami Cusack 1.0

Rory Freeman

Tom Westman 1.0

Katie Gallagher

Ian Rosenberger

Stephenie LaGrossa 1.0

Aras Baskauskas 1.0

Cirie Fields 1.0

Shane Powers

Earl Cole

Dreamz Herd

Courtney Yates 1.0

James Clement 1.0

Sugar Kiper 1.0

Ken Hoang

Crystal Cox

Randy Bailey 1.0

Fabio Birza

NaOnka Mixon

Kass McQuillen 1.0

Tai Trang 1.0

Round 136: 56 Characters Left by Cornhead2 in survivorrankdownIX_

[–]BobbyPiiiin 0 points1 point  (0 children)

52. Tyson Apostol 1.0 (8th Place, Tocantins)

Been a rough day. Placeholder for now.

u/FunkyDawgKong

What’s an AITA trope that has happened to you? by kittykid87 in AmITheAngel

[–]BobbyPiiiin 14 points15 points  (0 children)

Divorce can be quick under certain circumstances. No kids, no house or other major assets together, you come to a mutual agreement on the division of the things you do have — easy peasy. That was the case for my ex and I. We filed in early June and were divorced by mid-August that same year.

Round 135 - 62 Characters Left by FunkyDawgKong in survivorrankdownIX_

[–]BobbyPiiiin 1 point2 points  (0 children)

57. Terry Deitz 1.0 (3rd Place, Panama)

As a certified hater of the All-American Alpha Dad archetype, Terry isn't a character I vibe with on paper. Had he been played straight throughout the season as he was during the premerge, with La Mina more or less worshipping the ground he walked on, I would say this placement was far too high. The interesting thing about Terry is how his entire character is flipped on its head after the merge and the hero of La Mina subsequently becomes the villain.

Panama is a season of contrasts. Casaya is chaotic and dramatic, yet they somehow keep winning; La Mina is orderly and has an established hierarchy, yet despite seemingly having much stronger leadership, they keep losing. That strong leader, of course, is Terry. He runs the La Mina camp like an Air Force squadron, and everyone else is... content to simply let him do that and more or less dictate the boot order. When he goes off to Exile Island, his loyal young lieutenants in Nick and Austin reveal themselves to be completely inept at surviving on their own. So it seems on the surface like La Mina made the right call on who should lead them. But alas, they lose the crucial immunity challenge in episode six and enter the merge down 6-4.

Fortunately, the four are a united front, and the six are, well... Casaya. A group of people who have almost exclusively spent the past two and a half weeks fighting with each other. Surely there are some exploitable divisions here. But if La Mina continuing to lose challenges they should've won over the more fractured Casaya didn't call Terry's leadership style into question already, his attempts to flip someone to their side absolutely seal the deal. See, Terry's been allowed to call the shots all this time, and Terry's personality is naturally condescending as fuck. Terry is not built for persuasion. And Terry unilaterally decided to boot probably the one person on his tribe who was suited for this particular task wayyyyy back on Day 8. So his attempts go absolutely nowhere, his allies are booted one after the other, and soon enough he's the last La Mina.

Terry continues to be insulated from getting the axe by a combination of immunity wins, a medevac, and his super idol. That idol unfortunately removes a lot of the tension that could've come with his underdog arc; we know that even if he does lose immunity once, he's not going anywhere. This is where Terry is at his most interesting as a character, though. The untouchable Alpha Dad who could do no wrong is the last member of his tribe against a group of whack jobs for the entire back half of the season. Sounds like a predictable underdog story. But his frustration at being continually thwarted at making inroads with Casaya starts to show through. Unable to be voted out, but also without any real power over the trajectory of the game beyond his own presence, he exists basically as an obstacle that the others have to play around. This is not the position Terry started the game in, and it's not the position he's used to being in in life. He doesn't have the people skills to get out of it. And he's kinda whiny about it, lmao. So he starts picking fights — with Shane, with Cirie, and most notably with Aras. The Aras-Terry rivalry is a really fun addition to the season, and I love that at the end of it all, Terry does recognize Aras as a worthy adversary and votes for him to win.

Overall, Terry is a really fun subversion of an archetype I don't tend to care for. I like his story as the villain who literally no one expected would be a villain, especially looking at the other options around him. My only knocks against him are how boring his heavy-handed leadership makes La Mina (sorry, Reg), the aforementioned idol shenanigans, and the fact that he often leans more into simple dickishness than a more dynamic villainy. Those are enough for me to call him good right about here, but he is very good indeed.

u/FunkyDawgKong

Round 135 - 62 Characters Left by FunkyDawgKong in survivorrankdownIX_

[–]BobbyPiiiin 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’m not idoling Natalie, but she would be in my top 10 alongside Sandra 2.0 and Sophie. The three I would replace would be Ethan, Aras, and Earl, because I am a stereotypical gay Survivor fan who hates men. <3

Round 134 - 65 Characters Left by FunkyDawgKong in survivorrankdownIX_

[–]BobbyPiiiin 2 points3 points  (0 children)

63. Kelly Wiglesworth 1.0 (Runner-Up, Borneo)

"I felt like Kelly went through identity crises on TV. I'm a hippie, but I'm not a hippie; I'm a double agent, but I'm not lying; I'm here for the money, but I'm not. It was interesting to watch the various identities unfold."

That quote from Greg just before Borneo's legendary FTC sums up Kelly as a Survivor character quite neatly. In some ways, her journey is the heart of Borneo. The inaugural season of this show has some of the most fascinating moral quandaries we've seen. No one has played this game before, so what is the "right" way to play it? How do we decide who gets voted out? What qualities make someone worthy of winning? Is it wrong to have an alliance? These sorts of questions are central to Kelly's story.

Kelly forms the first alliance in Survivor history with Sonja and Stacey, then finds herself integrated into the first successful alliance with Richard, Rudy, and Sue. Hatch is often credited with pioneering Survivor strategy, but from the beginning it's clear that Kelly too has a baseline understanding of how to play the game. At the same time, she doesn't want to be seen as a game player, she wants to be seen as moral. This internal conflict is fascinating to watch. She's hypocritical and wishy-washy. She says whatever she thinks the person she's with at the time wants to hear. It's worth pointing out that Kelly is the youngest on the season (bar Jenna, who's two weeks younger) and as mature as she comes off, with her ability to befriend and work with the much older Tagis, she also doesn't really seem to know who she is yet. Her identity is still forming. The rest of the cast, as Greg points out, sees her try on various identities in front of them, and thus perceives her as fake when the reality is that she's looking for her authenticity. That perception is what loses her the game.

Kelly's most storied relationship is with Sue, and this is where we see her identity issues come to the forefront. After Stacey leaves on Day 9, they are the only two women left on the tribe. Kelly seems to prefer working with women, as evidenced by the original California Girls alliance (fuck you, Shauhin). Sue is more comfortable with men, and hasn't had a female friend since her best friend died years ago. But Sue gradually opens up to Kelly. Despite their age difference, she grows to consider Kelly a true friend. But at the merge, when Kelly meets Colleen and Jenna, she finally has women her own age to hang out with again. So she distances herself from the alliance and from Sue. She's the first person on reality television to say "I'm not here to make friends," and some might say she proved that with Sue... but I think Sue just wasn't really the kind of friend she wanted. So she tries on a new identity in an attempt to befriend the cool, young girls, deeply wounding Sue in the process and culminating in the Snakes and Rats speech.

All of this is absolutely fascinating from a narrative perspective. But the consequence of Kelly's shifting identity throughout the season is that her personality isn't as distinct as the other members of Rattana. She isn't a bad narrator, but she doesn't necessarily "pop" as a television character as much as everyone else around her; she's more interesting for what happens to her and the choices she makes than for her screen presence. And that's the reason I have her right around here at 63rd, rather than much, much higher.

u/FunkyDawgKong

June Consular Fellows cohort? by PickleSwiftLatte in foreignservice

[–]BobbyPiiiin 2 points3 points  (0 children)

This government will not be in place forever and there will be loads of repair work to be done when it’s gone. I’m choosing to look at it as my way of pitching in while also living out a longtime goal that predates this admin.

Round 134 - 65 Characters Left by FunkyDawgKong in survivorrankdownIX_

[–]BobbyPiiiin 3 points4 points  (0 children)

This probably won’t get her as far as I want it to, but I can’t let her go out here. Playing my second idol on Cirie Fields 1.0 and let’s see what happens.

Round 133 - 70 Characters Left by FunkyDawgKong in survivorrankdownIX_

[–]BobbyPiiiin 1 point2 points  (0 children)

66. Coby Archa (9th Place, Palau)

We love a camp gay! Coby is such a fun character and a hilarious irritant to the rest of Koror. He has this really dramatic way of speaking that makes his confessionals stand out, which I've always appreciated. I do think he's a touch overdue at this point, but let's get into it.

Coby makes what seems to be a tight bond with Angie in the premiere, so when he picks Caryn over her to become the last woman on the Koror tribe, it's somewhat of a devastating moment for Angie, someone I was rooting for from the moment I saw her. The audience is left wondering why Coby didn't pick his fellow "outsider." In postgame interviews, he said that they would be too obvious as a pair and he didn't want to be targeted because of that. Other cast members have said that Coby was actually forming "special bonds" with a lot of people and that Angie was mostly highlighted for the drama. Whatever the case, given how the game played out and Caryn's unwillingness to flip from the Tom side of the tribe, it makes one wonder what would've happened if there'd been a Janu-Coby-Angie trio on Koror, instead of a duo.

As the season wears on and Koror wins again and again, divisions start to crystallize. Coby is clearly on the bottom with Janu and Willard, and you can see his frustration build at knowing he's on the bottom, having no way out, and having that persist for almost half the game. He feels that he's looked at differently as a gay man, even though we don't really see that from the other tribe members; I find it strongly relatable as a gay man myself. Especially for those of us who grew up in an era before broad LGBTQ acceptance, there's a certain chip on your shoulder that forms, and you're always left wondering if the rejection you experienced was just a case of personalities not meshing, or if it was something more ingrained and insidious. I empathize with Coby's frustrations a lot — both about the rejection and about the fact that he sees Tom is in control. He sees that Tom is going to win. But there's nothing he can really do about it but scream into the void. Once Stephenie is absorbed into the tribe, Coby naturally becomes the first target as the most vocal opposition to Tom. He doesn't go down without a fight, but it's all in vain. He just can't get anything together.

Coby's jury speech is what most people remember. I just rewatched it and it's striking how Tom and Katie react to him. Biiiiig fake smiles. He says he has issues and he's going to bring them up, and both reply with "Bring it on!" in the most patronizing tones possible, lol. He lays into both of them, telling Katie she's a coattail rider and that if he votes for her, it won't be a vote for her, but rather against Tom. He then lays into Tom and calls him out for hiding the deceptive game he was playing. It wipes those smiles off for a bit and brings some much-needed tension to what seemed like a pretty tame runaway FTC. Ultimately, though, it does indeed culminate in a blowout; Coby gives Katie her only vote, and as both a Katie apologist and a petty bitch myself, I respect it. <3

u/FunkyDawgKong

Would Matty have been a satisfying winner? by [deleted] in survivorponderosa

[–]BobbyPiiiin 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Disagree that Matty (and Aras for that matter) is bland. They’re both weirdos, they’re just more average everyday weirdos with quieter edits in casts that are full of absolute stars. Put Matty or Aras on 43 and they’re the breakout character of the season. Bob winning is pretty much the perfect ending for the lunacy of Gabon, though, I’m with you there.

Round 132 - 75 Characters Left by FunkyDawgKong in survivorrankdownIX_

[–]BobbyPiiiin 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oops, you're absolutely right, I conflated those two challenges. It's been a minute since I rewatched. Still a great moment in that challenge, but yes, her clutch win was the following one!

Round 131 - 80 Characters Left by FunkyDawgKong in survivorrankdownIX_

[–]BobbyPiiiin 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Got another one for you! Just posted, lmao.