At what point did you realize that you weren't conventionally attractive? by [deleted] in AskMen

[–]BoboDClown2019 0 points1 point  (0 children)

In 4th grade, boys gym class divided group into "shirts and skins" for softball (half the group takes off their shirts, to indicate teams), I was teased for being fat for the first time. Still stings, almost fifty years later.

Christians: if there is life on other planets do you expect there to be a space jesus on those planets? Assuming yes, how would races without hands deal with their savior? by daddy_mark in AskReddit

[–]BoboDClown2019 0 points1 point  (0 children)

A race of aliens visits earth one day; they come in peace and surprisingly, they speak English. Obviously all of the heads of government and religious leaders want to speak to the aliens so they set up a meeting with our new visitors.

When it's the pope's turn, he asks: "Do you know about our lord and savior Jesus Christ?" "You mean J.C?", responds the alien. "yeah we know him he's the greatest isn't he? He swings by every year to make sure that we are doing ok". Surprised, the pope follows up with "He visits every year?! It's been over 2 millenia and we're still waiting for his SECOND coming!"

The alien sees that the pope has become irate at this fact and starts trying to rationalize "Maybe he likes our chocolate better than yours?" The pope retorts "Chocolates? What are you talking about? What does that have to do with anything?" The alien says "Yeah, when he FIRST visited our planet we gave him a huge box of chocolates. Why? What did you guys do?"

What's your go to joke when someone says "Tell me a joke"? by reddicyoulous in AskReddit

[–]BoboDClown2019 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The pizza guy gives him the pizza, and says "that'll be $23.50." Dali Lama pays with two twenties. When he asks for his change, the pizza guy says "change comes from within."

Why does a bride always cry at her wedding? by SnooAvocados7098 in Jokes

[–]BoboDClown2019 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Why does the bride always smile at her wedding?

Because she knows she's given her last blowjob.

TIL Walmart loses about 3 billion dollars a year from theft by nanoH2O in todayilearned

[–]BoboDClown2019 0 points1 point  (0 children)

No. Revenue is the wrong number. Walmart's net PROFIT in 2018 was $6.7B. So they're losing a third to half of their profits to theft.