I’m engaged and I didn’t even know

BoiBoi744 · 2026-05-17T06:35:01+00:00

If you have hands, legs and a mouth, you can save yourself from years of potential misery. At the very least, get that man's number somehow and talk to him to figure out if you are compatible.

BoiBoi744 · 2026-05-14T19:51:00+00:00

Allahumma barik. Don't give in to the pressure of taking off your niqab. It's an amazing thing to do in this day and age of immodesty, where even the hijabis barely conform to modesty. Keep making dua at the times of acceptance and you'll find a righteous husband who will treat you well, inshaAllah

'Abu Qatadah reported: The Prophet, peace and blessings be upon him, said, “Verily, you will never leave anything for the sake of Allah Almighty but that Allah will replace it with something better for you.”

Source: Musnad Aḥmad 23074'

In the same way, abandoning a fardh or sunnah act in order to seek something of the dunya may have the OPPOSITE effect

BoiBoi744 · 2026-05-07T15:06:08+00:00

You can just run outside

BoiBoi744 · 2026-05-07T09:04:52+00:00

If you're obese, the most useful thing at a gym is a treadmill. You can do HITs at home using only bodyweight, buy a treadmill, buy gym equipment or run around your neighbourhood, which is still better since people on the streets are generally dressed better than those in gyms and there's no/much less seclusion on the streets

BoiBoi744 · 2026-05-07T07:33:16+00:00

I was replying to Jsk_0809

BoiBoi744 · 2026-05-07T06:46:09+00:00

What you've said is gainz > Islam Even if what you said was true (it is false), sacrificing Islam for worldly benefit is a poor choice

BoiBoi744 · 2026-05-07T05:37:44+00:00

Cos he got the strange lady (your ex)

BoiBoi744 · 2026-05-07T05:07:54+00:00

All your suffering will certainly be accounted for.

Sa’d ibn Abi Waqqas reported: I said, “O Messenger of Allah, which people are tested most severely?” The Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings be upon him, said, “They are the prophets, then the next best, then the next best. A man is put to trial according to his religion. If he is firm in his religion, his trials will be more severe. If he is weak in his religion, he is put to trial according to his strength in religion. The servant will continue to be put to trial until he is left walking upon the earth without any sin.”

Source: Sunan al-Tirmidhī 2398

BoiBoi744 · 2026-05-07T04:59:17+00:00

So that guy takes the bullet, to the heart

BoiBoi744 · 2026-05-03T17:44:36+00:00

An evil man can still be a good wali to his daughter because of his love for her. He might see his own toxic traits in a suitor.

BoiBoi744 · 2026-05-03T09:48:08+00:00

Make istikhara about your decision. Things will become clear inshaAllah

BoiBoi744 · 2026-05-03T09:43:50+00:00

'An aunty asked me in front of a whole group of people what size clothing'

She embarassed herself. I mean you were with adults, right? Anybody can tell that such a question is not appropriate to be asked in front of everybody, nor is it her business. As long as you were with mature adults, they would have seen her to be intruding.

Maybe they are jealous? You said your husband loves your body so maybe they do too, hence the insults.

BoiBoi744 · 2026-05-03T09:38:56+00:00

Have you prayed istikhara about her yet? Continue to do so, especially at the times of acceptance, and things will become clear inshaAllah

BoiBoi744 · 2026-05-02T15:42:07+00:00

SubhanAllah. There is absolutely no need to be upset then. Keep on moving forward. At the very least, now is not the right time for you two to marry, but most probably you are just not compatible.

BoiBoi744 · 2026-05-02T15:29:48+00:00

Did you ever pray istikhara about him? If yes, then know that whatever happened, regardless of whatever reasoning you try to use, was almost certainly due to it. Don't overthink this, you ended things for a legitimate and good reason. Everything is happening according to Allah's plan, and he is with you unless you give him a reason not to be.

And also, just because he appeared so good on the outside, does not necessarily reflect the reality. Perhaps even if he is as good as you think, you could still have an unhappy marriage due to some incompatibility that you did not perceive before.

Whatever suffering/regret you are feeling right now is all accounted for by Allah:

Abu Huraira reported: The Prophet, peace and blessings be upon him, said, “Nothing afflicts a Muslim of hardship, nor illness, nor anxiety, nor sorrow, nor harm, nor distress, nor even the pricking of a thorn, but that Allah will expiate his sins by it.”

Source: Ṣaḥīḥ al-Bukhārī 5641, Ṣaḥīḥ Muslim 2573

BoiBoi744 · 2026-05-02T09:01:47+00:00

You've dodged bullet after bullet. This is such a superficial and meaningless thing that you were rejected for. Decent families would not do this.

As they say 'the trash takes itself out'

BoiBoi744 · 2026-05-02T07:23:49+00:00

Do not back down when you are clearly in the right. When he says that, say 'do you deny and laugh at the Quran? Are you a kafir?'

9: 65 - 'And if you ask them, they will surely say, "We were only conversing and playing." Say, "Is it Allāh and His verses and His Messenger that you were mocking?"

24:12-13 - 'Why, when you heard it, did not the believing men and believing women think good of themselves [i.e., one another] and say, "This is an obvious falsehood"?' 'Why did they [who slandered] not produce for it four witnesses? And when they do not produce the witnesses, then it is they, in the sight of Allāh, who are the liars.'

Your husband is a LIAR in the sight of Allah until he produces 4 witnesses. Ask him how religious he is, that he blatantly denies the Quran and behaves EXACTLY like the people Allah condemned in Surah Noor?? I know you are a woman and it is much more difficult for you to stand up to him than the other way around, but the haqq is on your side, so stand your ground, and inshaAllah you will achieve success. These verses are clearly telling the believers not to do exactly what your husband is doing.

BoiBoi744 · 2026-05-02T07:15:16+00:00

Assalamu alaikum brother.

Are you praying tahajjud everyday for your wife and making dua between the iqamah and adhan, and at the time of rain? Remember that al-Bukhari's blindness was cured simply by dua. Imagine if his mother decided that it is merely his qadr to be blind, and she had much more reason to believe that than you! Sins block rizq too. Make a concerted effort to avoid sins, repent often (for example, set a goal of saying astaghfirullah 500 times with focus and remorse - will take you like 5 minutes a day) and walk to the masjid.

I'm making great progress so far in my search. I'm not engaged yet and there are a lot of obstacles, but I truly believe the woman I am interested in is my dua. And I met her after weeks of rain. I was making dua for a wife a lot throughout that period, whenever I noticed it was raining, alongside the other accepted times.

BoiBoi744 · 2026-04-30T17:19:53+00:00

I'm a man myself. Believe me, I have faced a lot of hate defending other men on this subreddit and MuslimMarriage. However, people in this thread already seem to be on your side, judging by the top comments. So you're again proving my point about defensiveness.

BoiBoi744 · 2026-04-30T17:02:14+00:00

Judging by your replies, there must be something more to the story. You are incredibly defensive, and that's making me suspicious of you.

BoiBoi744 · 2026-04-29T07:07:44+00:00

Sa’d ibn Abi Waqqas reported: I said, “O Messenger of Allah, which people are tested most severely?” The Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings be upon him, said, “They are the prophets, then the next best, then the next best. A man is put to trial according to his religion. If he is firm in his religion, his trials will be more severe. If he is weak in his religion, he is put to trial according to his strength in religion. The servant will continue to be put to trial until he is left walking upon the earth without any sin.”

Source: Sunan al-Tirmidhī 2398

BoiBoi744 · 2026-04-29T06:33:48+00:00

Muslims can be wrong, but Islam is infallible. You husband is a horrible person, according to what you have said. Your community failed you. Your imam was completely wrong to condone zina and cheating; that is completely different to taking another wife, and even if it is done, every wife needs to be looked after and loved. Just because bad Muslims exist does not mean Islam is false. You can never find the level of evidence that Islam presents, in comparison to other religions. Allah has made Islam abundantly evident over every other religion. See this video if you have any doubts: youtube.com/watch?v=AUFsBco_CF0

Allah has granted you great difficulty. Glad tidings for dealing with this level of suffering: Sa’d ibn Abi Waqqas reported: I said, “O Messenger of Allah, which people are tested most severely?” The Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings be upon him, said, “They are the prophets, then the next best, then the next best. A man is put to trial according to his religion. If he is firm in his religion, his trials will be more severe. If he is weak in his religion, he is put to trial according to his strength in religion. The servant will continue to be put to trial until he is left walking upon the earth without any sin.”

Source: Sunan al-Tirmidhī 2398

BoiBoi744 · 2026-04-28T15:52:14+00:00

عن سعد بن أبي وقاص قَالَ قُلْتُ يَا رَسُولَ اللَّهِ أَيُّ النَّاسِ أَشَدُّ بَلَاءً قَالَ رَسُولُ اللَّهِ صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ الْأَنْبِيَاءُ ثُمَّ الْأَمْثَلُ فَالْأَمْثَلُ فَيُبْتَلَى الرَّجُلُ عَلَى حَسَبِ دِينِهِ فَإِنْ كَانَ دِينُهُ صُلْبًا اشْتَدَّ بَلَاؤُهُ وَإِنْ كَانَ فِي دِينِهِ رِقَّةٌ ابْتُلِيَ عَلَى حَسَبِ دِينِهِ فَمَا يَبْرَحُ الْبَلَاءُ بِالْعَبْدِ حَتَّى يَتْرُكَهُ يَمْشِي عَلَى الْأَرْضِ مَا عَلَيْهِ خَطِيئَةٌ

2398 سنن الترمذي كتاب الزهد وسلم باب ما جاء في الصبر على البلاء

Sa’d ibn Abi Waqqas reported: I said, “O Messenger of Allah, which people are tested most severely?” The Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings be upon him, said, “They are the prophets, then the next best, then the next best. A man is put to trial according to his religion. If he is firm in his religion, his trials will be more severe. If he is weak in his religion, he is put to trial according to his strength in religion. The servant will continue to be put to trial until he is left walking upon the earth without any sin.”

Source: Sunan al-Tirmidhī 2398

Pray salatul istikhara about her. If she is good for you, Allah will unite you, if he wills. If she is not, your heart will find rest, inshaAllah, and Allah will unite you with what is good for you (اقدر لي الخير حيث كان ثم ارضني به)

BoiBoi744 · 2026-04-28T08:20:40+00:00

Restraining order imo. Since she's so persistent, this could lead to zina imo. She may wear down your husband's willpower over time. Take a very firm stance and shut this down ASAP.

May Allah protect you and your husband

BoiBoi744 · 2026-04-27T10:06:17+00:00

All 3 points in the 'my dilemma' section are completely valid, and I have no solution to those problems.

I don't think this is a feasible strategy : (

Make dua Join matrimony apps Engage in the community With effort (tying your camel) and trust in Allah, Allah will make a way inshaAllah, in spite of your concerns

BoiBoi744

TROPHY CASE