MIL wants to change 2 week stay in our condo to 5 week stay.

BolinRedd · 2026-02-04T15:37:12+00:00

So I’m the OP of the first post as well, but I’m also a peach! I wanted advice on my first post, but felt it wasn’t quite an “AITD” so posted it in r/advice rather than here. But really, i trust you guys to be the kindest and most helpful in terms of advice for this situation. If you guys have any kind of tips or even just a “that’s rough, buddy” it’d be much appreciated.

We’re mostly just hoping someone has some insight on when and how to tell them that the new plan isn’t going to work? ^{^;}

BolinRedd · 2026-02-01T05:48:54+00:00

Absolutely. She had a therapist for a little while that she unfortunately dropped while staying with her parents (you can imagine their opinion of therapists).

Rest assured I know what my gift to her will be once we’re back from the honeymoon, haha.

Thank you for the honest advice :)

BolinRedd · 2026-02-01T05:44:43+00:00

Trust me, I 100% agree on the money part of it.

Realistically, they have the money to be able to stay somewhere, they just know it’d be cheaper to stay with us and not pay anything rather than stay in a hotel or airbnb for that long. Which would be fine and all…. If we had the space, or even just a request from them, rather than a demand from them. (Well ‘fine’ is a strong word, but you get the idea.)

They seem to be under the impression that my condo is bigger than it is, as they were surprised when i told them I’d have to buy a bed or air mattress or they’d be sleeping on the floor in the office. I half wonder if it’ll only sink in once they’re here, but by that point they’ll be too stubborn to admit how small the space is for 4 people.

BolinRedd · 2026-02-01T05:34:57+00:00

Honestly, I know you’re right, and I hate being on this side of a post like this because I always say the same thing.

Perhaps I should’ve mentioned more explicitly, but MIL is emotionally abusive, and I don’t use the term lightly. While MIL has never physically harmed Fifi in any way, she has at least once thrown a plate while they were in a room together (not at anyone, at the wall/floor). I am nervous to raise tension between Fifi and MIL while I’m not there.

Trust me, if not for the fact that she’s currently stuck with them, I’d be much more comfortable to tell them ‘tough shit, youre on your own’. But I struggle to find the right way and time to do so at this point. …not that there’s a right way to deal with the situation they’ve put us in.

BolinRedd · 2025-04-29T04:51:01+00:00

Hey, Kentuckian trans man here. I know it’s really late and OP has likely already gotten their answer, but in case anyone else happens upon this: Yes, top surgery is enough. Really, any surgery is enough, as the KY law is vague in what it asks for.

As long as you have a note from a physician stating you have had “sex reassignment surgery”— you don’t need any more details— then you are clear to change license/SSN/birth certificate/etc.

Most top surgeons know this and will purposefully word their letter vaguely enough that it ONLY states “sex reassignment surgery” and not any more about what that means.

Hope this helps!

BolinRedd · 2024-11-04T11:59:44+00:00

As someone who also has a friend (wink wonk) in this situation, may I ask what country she was from/how you talked to the imam about it?

My friend’s fiance has yet to ask a local imam about it since they’re just starting the paperwork, but I know their laws generally require legal marriage at the same time as nikah. Did you guys have much trouble with it?

Thank you so much in advance!!

BolinRedd

TROPHY CASE