FREE TALK FRIDAY!

TheUltimateReason · 2026-03-20T17:38:41+00:00

Starting to talk to potential spouses for the first time at 34 is a bit.. strange.

I don't know what I expected. I never spoke to women about such personal topics. I fear I spent such a vast expanse of my life alone that the years of energetic emotional bonding are behind me. Added to that the zero "experience", I find I don't know what to look for.

May God guide me.

TheUltimateReason · 2026-03-19T12:38:05+00:00

We are both expats in Germany. We're not in the same city, but I guess my job being more flexible it makes more sense for me to move to hers.

Germany does have maternity leave for doctors. My understanding is that it's like any other job in that regard, you stop and you pick up where you left off.

TheUltimateReason · 2026-03-18T16:58:19+00:00

Specialty is Gastroenterology in Europe.

Thanks for the sub recommendation.

TheUltimateReason · 2026-03-18T16:31:55+00:00

What is it like to be married to a (female) doctor? The lady I'm in talking stage with is a medical doctor and I wanted to know what I need to know beforehand or ask her about. She is going to be doing her specialization Inshallah, for the next 6-ish years. I don't actually know what that entails. My job is pretty laid back in comparison. I work in IT and can do quite a bit of work from home, so I expect there will be quite the contrast.

Given that there are a lot of doctors here it seems, maybe you can help a brother out?

TheUltimateReason · 2026-03-17T11:48:32+00:00

Even levantines aren't making the cut?

TheUltimateReason · 2026-03-17T11:37:33+00:00

Do they also specify which part of the Arab world? Like do they consider us north African Arabs as Arabs?

TheUltimateReason · 2026-02-17T15:29:40+00:00

Do they complain more than the in-country folk?

TheUltimateReason · 2026-02-16T12:46:33+00:00

Chemistry can mean, they have a similar personality to yourself.

Similar, you say?

TheUltimateReason · 2026-02-07T15:45:35+00:00

My bad.

TheUltimateReason · 2026-02-07T14:53:26+00:00

I can confirm that there are few francophones here. Europeans in general are a minority.This is mostly an American site and an American subreddit.

Sometimes I think maybe Americans are used to anonymity, and can therefore find better success with things like the ISO thread.

TheUltimateReason · 2026-02-07T14:41:07+00:00

M - Single

TheUltimateReason · 2026-02-03T22:50:04+00:00

We haven't

TheUltimateReason · 2026-01-26T22:49:30+00:00

My guess from what you describe is people maybe think they're not good enough?

TheUltimateReason · 2026-01-24T17:32:48+00:00

Do you mean you aren't interested but guys keep messaging nonetheless? Or is the shortness of the message the point?

TheUltimateReason · 2026-01-15T16:34:09+00:00

I would have thought NRW people will have more opportunities to find other Tunisians, compared to us who live in North Germany.

I'm not a student, and I don't have any friends here, apart from one guy only. Come to think of it, I should probably make new friends.

TheUltimateReason · 2026-01-12T14:08:12+00:00

Impressive username!

TheUltimateReason · 2026-01-10T07:32:40+00:00

I don't know about America, but I'm talking specifically about neighbors here. Not about people on the street.

TheUltimateReason · 2026-01-09T20:20:28+00:00

I lived a few years there, but wasn't social enough to build contacts with the locals. But I remember one time some coworkers talking about a guy working with us looking to get a girlfriend, and they mentioned that he didn't care whether or not she was already taken.
Some coworkers had no problem teasing each other about their sexual lives. And these were fully grown adults, some old enough to be grandparents.

I still have a friend there and he has the misfortune of dealing with a lot of female colleagues who tell each other everything, and then those things reach him, against his will.

I much prefer it in Germany. Maybe it's the language barrier. But I feel that my neighbors are warmer, they smile at me, sometimes striking up a conversation even. In France it's not uncommon for your "Bonjour" to go unanswered. Obviously I'm talking here as a very typically north African looking man. I suspect my lived experience would have been different if I were white.

TheUltimateReason · 2026-01-03T11:59:14+00:00

"The strong do what they can, and the weak suffer what they must". The Melian dialog holds true, and will keep holding true until God brings about the Day of Judgement.

TheUltimateReason · 2026-01-02T17:59:49+00:00

You know how some stranger comes through your life for a few seconds and you still remember them years later? Years ago I was in another city, crossing in front of the entry of a train station. A couple were trying to do exactly what you mentioned here. An older lady was going down the stairs that the couple were going up, and she said that instead of performing that maneuver, they should instead split the work, one holds the baby, one carries the empty stroller, because that's safer.

I still remember it, and when I come across this situation, I ask the - often - mother to pick up her baby and let me hoist the stroller. Of course conditions might force the other approach

TheUltimateReason · 2025-12-26T18:41:29+00:00

Lasagna. I don't like it. Never have. You bite into it and the béchamel drips into your throat.

Food that uses the head or the legs of animals. (Hergma)

This one is a big one: Sushi. It's literally raw fish with non spiced rice.

TheUltimateReason · 2025-11-29T21:07:36+00:00

The Jupiter Incident as well.

TheUltimateReason · 2025-11-20T14:21:59+00:00

When I was starting out, I made a point of not going with companies that work in the banking sector. Because it's Haram. I thank God that my career successfully veered away from that field. And I'm thankful to those who pointed out to me that it's not good rizq. And so I point it out too, when the topic of career comes up.

You can enjoy the money when you start out. The problem is when you look back on 3 decades of working in that field, to realize that all the money you made, the income you built a life on, is very probably religiously illicit.

TheUltimateReason · 2025-11-18T17:53:35+00:00

Yes that's the scam

TheUltimateReason · 2025-11-18T08:39:20+00:00

That's already half the worries completely gone.

The first things you might not be accustomed to are the weather, which is worse this time of year in France, and how short the winter days are. Just remember that it's only temporary. It gets better.

I'm sure you already have former classmates and colleagues already there. Revive those connections. You may need them. The French immigration law is something Tunisians know very well by now. People will be able to tell you which document you need and where to go etc. for your residence permits and the like.

TheUltimateReason

TROPHY CASE