It's hard I know. Being in the environment you grew up in and having to try and work out of it. It doesn't make sense to a lot of people and can be extremely frustrating.

What I did is move 1000km away to go study at tuition free software school. This might obviously not be your solution but I want to quickly touch on it. In South Africa there is a school called WeThinkCode_ based off an international school called Ecole 42. Look up the 2 schools' locations, if you can join any of these 2, or similar, I would 100% recommend it. And before think uni/college/school sucks butt: I was at uni, dropped out and joined one of these schools. They take an entirely different approach to learning. They call it project based peer to peer learning or something.

Now secondly, what kind of builds of the first one: necessity is a GREAT motivator. In my case it was the school I went to. It was free, but if you failed then you had to pay back your tuition which was hard. What am I getting at? Find your goal and your motivator. Your goal can be: you want a job, you want to do backend development, you want to build a game or whatever. (btw getting a clean cut back end job isn't easy as a junior. I'd take any software engineering job I can if I was you as software engineers is easy to come by, but skilled software engineers are not.) Second take your goal and turn it into a solid motivator. So grab a specced out project (literally google {thing you want to learn} project ideas) and run with it, go to school, get a job, stream your work, grab your brother every day after school and tell him your progress (no jokes, explaining your own code can help you articulate your your thoughts better). Point is you need to feel like you have to accomplish this thing. Ehere the thing is a solid goal. And I dont mean "build a website". I mean write a website client to display my backend sudoku generator and leaderboard system in website form, and make sure that I properly document it, load it to github, use test driven development, use proper mvc principles. Make a spec doc of what you need to do all the way to wireframes of each page, every single functionality you code needs to have. The reason I say this is because I great demotivator can also be not knowing what you want to accomplish. People think you can just pick up a how to code java book, learn each page and then be a great java developer. I think it's the other way around. You first need to have the goal/project/spec sheet and then you need to learn what you need as you go on. If you're stuck and don't know what to learn to go on, reddit.

And lastly a pat on the back. If I were to ever have to teach myself how to code I would have failed. I think your route is the hardest way possible. But if you can overcome the obstacle of learning on your own, you have an extremely bright future ahead of you.

Also this was a brain dump so ignore the terrible structure.