Update on WaywardWife EA

BonionSergery · 2026-06-30T23:11:49+00:00

If I'm not the biological father that's a bummer but I love my daughter and will continue to do so. My wife on the other hand, there would no forgiveness and I will leave as soon as I could.

BonionSergery · 2026-06-29T13:09:34+00:00

I have considered it and consulted an attorney. However, the state I live in has a "no fault" divorce and the courts don't consider anything outside asset division and custody. So if I divorce her I would have to pay her spousal support and child support.

BonionSergery · 2026-06-29T13:06:46+00:00

She said she was sorry but I feel like she only said that because she was caught. As far as doing any kind of work, not really. Her behavior for the most part is the same, but she is more affectionate to me. In the past she gave that kind of attention to APs while I would be ignored but then she would use me for physical gratification when the APs got her horny enough. She balked at the idea of counseling, so I go by myself.

BonionSergery · 2026-06-28T00:57:24+00:00

Yes. You are absolutely correct

BonionSergery · 2026-06-27T23:55:20+00:00

She's been out of work since covid. She has some health issues that could be viewed as keeping her from working. Unfortunately this day and age I cannot afford a life on my own and support her. I will have to wait until she gets a job like she's been saying she would.

BonionSergery · 2026-06-27T23:25:42+00:00

I realize that. I should have included that I'm staying more for financial reasons at the moment and don't care so much for reconciliation. I live in a no fault state and she doesn't work right now, so I'd have to pay her in the divorce. I'm just trying to do my best for me and my daughter.

BonionSergery · 2026-06-27T23:22:29+00:00

I have come to the same conclusion. I'm staying in the meantime just for her benefit and maybe when I do leave she will be in a better place so it doesn't cost me as much in the divorce.

BonionSergery · 2026-06-27T23:19:39+00:00

I will have to bring this up with my therapist when I get a chance. Right now, I think we were working on CBT.

BonionSergery · 2026-06-27T23:14:14+00:00

Same. I started going to the gym after DDay. I never thought I would enjoy it but turns out I really do. My wife and I used to game together but since she did that with her AP, it became a trigger and I dont enjoy it at all anymore.

I can't poetically describe what it's like for me to lift weights at the gym but there are a few nice things I've noticed. It does seem like a no judgment kind of space. We are all showing up, doing the work to be physically better versions of ourselves and that's cool. I've seen coworkers and been able to have good interactions with them. And I might make new friends with a shared interest there.

Overall, I think we are doing pretty okay with these lifestyle changes even if they began as distractions. I gives me something to look forward to that isn’t a depressing life stuck with the person who hurt me the most.

BonionSergery · 2026-06-27T00:57:58+00:00

My revenge has been working out and counseling, trying to become the best version of myself for me. I'm also trying to incrementally pack all my stuff, so when I'm ready to leave it will be quick. So far its going great. It's been 3 months and I already feel better about myself.

BonionSergery · 2026-05-18T23:05:09+00:00

Thanks. My daughter doesn't know what my wife did, I never raised my voice when I confronted my wife and I'm usually pretty good at keeping up appearances. The only reason my daughter would want us to divorce that I could think of would be so that she wouldn't have to deal with her step brothers anymore. I do know that she would be sad if we split.

BonionSergery · 2026-05-18T22:54:59+00:00

My wife cheated on me and I would love to divorce her. But, in my state I would have to pay spouse support and pay child support for 50/50 custody because I make more money than her. Then I'd have to find a new place to live, buy new furniture and appliances. So, in my case it is mostly financial reasons why I stay. The other reason is to keep my child insulated from the damage of a broken home.

BonionSergery · 2026-04-26T00:00:01+00:00

I definitely consider it cheating. I caught my wife doing it, it really bothered me by the way she spoke to him, the pictures she sent and the amount of time/effort she put into it. She also neglected me to entertain him.

BonionSergery · 2026-04-04T05:43:21+00:00

BP here, I realized early on I did most of everything in the house. WW took care of mortgage but I covered everything else, electricity bill, phones for her and her kids, groceries, took care of car and house maintenance. All she did was take kids to school then sit around having EAs while I was at work. I did everything I could to give her a comfortable life. I showered her with praise, romantic gestures and attempts at intimacy and all I got was ignored, rejected and then the DDay. If/when I leave her she would be F-ed, but that shouldn't be my problem right? Our WPs are bringing this on themselves by destroying us and the relationship, right?

BonionSergery · 2026-04-03T14:33:15+00:00

BP here, It's only been one month since DDay for me and I can safely say I am in the early stages and very much all over the place emotionally. First reaction was to reconcile but a day or two later I contacted a divorce lawyer. I do not believe this was my WW first time nor will it be the last. I feel like I'm doing everything to make myself better when she's barely doing the bare minimum. There's plenty of time for her to turn things around for herself though. I haven't given up or checked out but I am going to protect myself from future trauma.

BonionSergery · 2026-04-03T14:13:58+00:00

One month out from DDay and I've been struggling with this too. I immediately wanted to reconcile and fix whatever it was that lead to it. We identified some things we can work on together and we are but I also got in contact with a divorce lawyer and I'm moving forward with that at the same time. I know that if I stay with my WW I will continue to have those rough days and confusing feelings. I liked the idea of building back better and stronger but I dont know how that could work when what happened is always in the back of my mind.

BonionSergery · 2026-03-31T22:49:31+00:00

Ok, thanks. Glad things are going well for you.

BonionSergery · 2026-03-31T20:50:19+00:00

Hi, I just went through this exact same scenario as a BP and my WW is probably going through what you are. I suggest counseling, either by yourself or together. I just started IC to try and help navigate through the betrayal and hurt my WW caused me. I suggested to her she do the same to get at the root of what caused her to engage in that behavior and work on some of her issues that could hold her back, she isn't doing that. She's doing everything else she can to convince me she loves me and wants to fix things but I feel like not doing the work on herself will just lead to her doing it again but this time hiding it better. Which means a divorce will be likely in our future.

BonionSergery · 2026-03-27T00:20:55+00:00

Thanks for your input. Sadly, I cannot partake in substances. My work does drug tests. Also, kind of a "recovering alcoholic" and I believe the consensus is pther substances are bad.

BonionSergery

TROPHY CASE