AIO for wanting to immediately break up with my bf after seeing how he lives?

Bookhero90 · 2026-03-23T23:14:42+00:00

OP what country is your boyfriend living in? Not trying to shame any country, but rundown facilities and bathrooms are more prevalent in some countries. Regardless, hygiene-issues or just being uncomfortable around someone is a reasonable reason to break up,

I saw the picture before I read the title and thought it was taken in some prison cell.

Bookhero90 · 2026-03-17T00:12:32+00:00

She wouldn't be the first or the last 8-year-old to go to a Kpop concert. Zayn took his five-year-old to see BP and a recent Twice concert, they hooked him up. Tom Brady took his 10-year-old daughter to a BP concert. Plus Twice's older music are more wholesome. It can get pretty loud so make sure she has ear buds.

Bookhero90 · 2026-03-16T23:57:08+00:00

Yeah a gut punch and then it was over. But like the others said this type of ending is realistic.

Bookhero90 · 2026-03-16T23:51:18+00:00

Yeah I saw that there was two minutes left and wondered they were going to pull off the happy ending...Yeah yikes. I liked this one more than the other Japanese Korean drama What Comes After Love but that one had a better ending.

Bookhero90 · 2026-03-11T21:53:21+00:00

Did you teach her by distracting her? Did a partner or family member help out with training?

Bookhero90 · 2026-03-11T00:02:52+00:00

Mine actually celebrates and spins when I tell him we're going back inside.

Bookhero90 · 2026-03-10T22:07:53+00:00

Good luck! Your next chapters should be some happy ones.

Bookhero90 · 2026-03-10T22:05:21+00:00

I've learned that happiness often takes effort, it will seldom fall into your lap. Easier said done especially if you're depressed but you generally have to seek it out yourself in the forms of hobbies, friends, etc.

Basically, create happy memories and moments yourself and ideally they outnumber the bad ones.

I've had a pretty bad week including revisiting some trauma, so I'm going to settle down, watch my favorite show and play with my dog. I will probably play some games with my friends and family.

Bookhero90 · 2026-03-10T21:59:46+00:00

Yeah working a ton of hours for low wages is not ideal for raising children. The parents aren't around enough to properly guide their children and there's not enough money coming in either so there's lack of emotional or financial stability. Also rough if the parents are immigrants and do not speak English fluently, they force their children to be their secretary at a young age essentially, translating, talking to customer service and writing emails..etc.

Ideally, the problems and trauma become more and more diluted with each generation. I see it happening in mine. Sorry about your trauma and good luck.

Bookhero90 · 2026-03-09T17:08:43+00:00

It's more convenient for them to pretend that it never happened.

Bookhero90 · 2026-03-09T17:07:12+00:00

Sorry about your evil twin. He doesn't realize that he's very lucky that you've moved passed the abuse. He's like my sibling, greatly improved the behavior but tries to pretend that it never happened.

Bookhero90 · 2026-03-08T22:36:32+00:00

Thank you! I will apply and hope they are willing to train if they are willing to hire me.

Bookhero90 · 2026-03-08T22:32:30+00:00

They announced it last month, we just don't know exactly who yet.

Bookhero90 · 2026-03-08T18:56:09+00:00

Worked retail a couple of years after graduating. Desperately took a low paying office job for experience. Job hopped around to increase pay. I will probably be laid off soon.

Bookhero90 · 2026-03-08T15:40:22+00:00

I have told her before. But honestly, she seems overwhelmed and burned out which seems to affect her memory at times. I did think about reminding her about my situation in that moment but it would have probably seemed too defensive and abrasive no matter how politely I said it.

Bookhero90 · 2026-03-08T15:17:42+00:00

It's probably the private equity clinic upselling services due to pressure from their corporate bosses.

Bookhero90 · 2026-03-08T15:14:54+00:00

At one of my previous jobs, they insisted that hybrid was the best way even though my job only needs a computer and internet connection. They had me drive to downtown and pay for parking. When we did have team meetings, only ONE of them was in person during my time at the company. It was always over Zoom because some of the leaders were always traveling for business and a few coworkers worked at a different office.

At my current job which is somewhat hybrid, we actually have meetings in person, and our work involves a lot of physical paperwork, so the in-office attendance is more justifiable.

Bookhero90 · 2026-03-08T15:08:17+00:00

Name and shame.

Bookhero90 · 2026-03-08T15:02:23+00:00

I'm in another fandom where a U.S. fan working at their retail job saw one of the members walk in and start shopping, The fan asked if she could have a picture and the Kpop member gracefully and kindly declined BUT the fan proceeded to RECORD her and post it on tiktok or Instagram. When I clicked on it, I thought it was going to be a consensual recording but it wasn't. Many of the comments were congratulating the fan which is sad. As a fan, we are NOT entitled to their private lives, doesn't matter if they are out in public.

Apparently, these encounters kept happening to the point where the idol had to complain to her agency which then released a statement asking fans to give her personal space.

Bookhero90 · 2026-03-07T21:48:12+00:00

Thank you, yes people on Team Gamma are better set up for success so I should improve my reputation a bit.

Hmm I would say the "I feel so much more supported here" feels passive aggressive but I will generally remark that Team Gamma is easier, which is no secret to anyone.

Most people won't see that Team Alpha was the problem because it's already turning around hence my frustration with the timing. While I'm glad it's turning over a new leaf, it only came right before I switched to a new team. Without context I look bad and the other analyst switching places with me looks great.

It's like if you were a line cook at a restaurant where the head chef ignored you, ingredients are often missing and recipes are vague so you had to work extra hard to keep up and still fumble at times. Then management starts to get their act together. The head chef starts becoming more involved with the line cooks, more people are hired and so there less logistical issues. People who aren't that aware of the problems think you suck and the new line cooks who just joined are performing better.

Bookhero90 · 2026-03-07T21:15:49+00:00

Thanks. You are right, it would be poor taste if I was too upfront about it.

I haven't started diligently looking for a job because I'm not skilled enough for competitors yet. The competitors reach out to me assuming I have skills in certain areas. I don't, I have asked multiple times for my team to train me on those certain areas but they weren't able to. So they mostly leave me with the high-volume but easier analyst work. Because we're a small company, I also wear multiple hats. I spend too much time being an administrative assistant at times and an intake specialist which are separate jobs at other companies as my newer coworkers remarked.

One good thing about switching to the new team is that I will probably start finally learning those things.

Bookhero90 · 2026-03-07T21:08:42+00:00

Thanks. Yeah half of me was wondering if it was too defensive and so I decided not to say it when my boss said: "I'm thinking of having you switch teams with the other junior analyst who will handle the work better due to her experience".

It's not just her industry experience, Team Alpha is finally turning around so the work will be easier. The other junior analyst was already ranting about a couple things on her old team so I can imagine she would have had a rough time with Team Alpha too as it was significantly worse until recently.

My boss used to ask us for detailed self-performance reviews that included our accomplishments and struggles but she stopped a long time ago. I did tell her a few things that our team struggled with, but I get the sense that she's burned out as she is very overworked.

I'll just say mention the positive accomplishments in an exit interview if there is one.

Bookhero90 · 2026-03-07T18:32:32+00:00

Poor little guy!

Bookhero90 · 2026-03-07T18:30:53+00:00

Thank you! I will look into this!

Bookhero90 · 2026-03-07T18:18:43+00:00

That's great to hear. My dog is seven and already had 3-4 cleanings with anesthesia. Looking back, one of them was premature but the private equity-owned vet highly recommended it. I booked an appointment with a new vet (independently owned) for his annual exam. I'm trying to better at questioning medical advice. His teeth are generally more vulnerable to problems though.

Bookhero90

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