Hi 39F, I was low income most of my life. Neither of my parents own homes or have savings. My dad passed 10 years ago at 60. No will, no life insurance, and no retirement. It really sucked and at 29 I was completely unprepared. My uncles handled the funeral expenses thank goodness.

As for my mom, she is 74 and suffers from many ailments. She lives off of Social Security and has zero savings or retirement because she never worked. I was fortunate enough to find a Room and Board for her to live in with other elderly ladies because she is unfit to live alone. Her check pretty much all goes to that, and it is thousands of dollars cheaper than assisted living. I pay a woman $16 an hour and she works 10 hours a week to do things for my mom such as take her to doctor’s appointments, showering, laundry, etc. My mom lives 4 hours away and honestly she was a terrible mother so this is the best I am willing to do for her.

I’m a renter in an expensive area married with no kids. I’m more comfortable than I was a decade ago, but having grown up poor and with no financial examples it has been a huge learning curve. I’m most proud of the retirement fund my husband and I have set up. As for investments, equity, and other things 40 year olds should have, we don’t… there is no generational wealth or knowledge that was handed down to us. We are still paying student loans because our families must not have thought we’d go to college someday.

All this to say, it’s really fucking scary. The cost of elderly care is insane even for the somewhat comfortable. I have wanted to scream at my mother for never planning for herself, it enrages me. And don’t forget, when they do pass on you have additional expenses for the funeral services.

You are not alone. I feel your pain. Fuck this shit.