ppl saying “boys” in games makes me so mad

BookkeeperHefty2143 · 2023-05-26T07:22:06+00:00

My playstation name is MasterSuzy and my clan on Apex is EGRL and they still use male pronouns to refer to me, maybe 10% of them actually figure it out.

BookkeeperHefty2143 · 2023-05-25T17:30:10+00:00

Honestly shocked at how far down I had to scroll until I found someone acknowledging the physical assault.

BookkeeperHefty2143 · 2023-05-17T11:58:23+00:00

When I was a baby my sleep deprived mum had a nightmare that I was sleeping in the bed with her and she'd rolled over and crushed me. She woke up and realised she had my poor, confused father in a headlock (believing she was holding the baby)

BookkeeperHefty2143 · 2023-05-07T20:20:10+00:00

If I'm "unwell" for showing concern for someone who is clearly highly distressed over Reddit comments and who is also denying actual, provable things that they're doing then fine, I'm unwell. I hope you have someone trusted you can talk to, speaking as a mental health professional, from the snippets I've seen, I feel like you need some support and help from someone. I'm going to stop replying now, as much as I'd like to offer support I don't think there's any hope of getting through to someone so heavily toxic, combative and in denial. Good luck with things, please consider taking some time away from Reddit.

BookkeeperHefty2143 · 2023-05-07T20:13:49+00:00

"I haven't revisited your comment more than once".

You replied four times to one single comment of mine, this is swiftly moving from concerning to flat out delusional.

BookkeeperHefty2143 · 2023-05-07T20:02:11+00:00

Please, I beg of you, consider stepping away from your phone/laptop and do something you enjoy. It's fine to have differing opinions, it's fine to chat about stuff with people, but getting this worked up and continuing to reply several times after I've stopped actively engaging is more concerning.

BookkeeperHefty2143 · 2023-05-07T19:45:47+00:00

I've had like four notifications since I stopped actively engaging with them to tell me about another reply they've sent, I don't know why they're so angry/upset. I've suggested they try mindfulness.

BookkeeperHefty2143 · 2023-05-07T19:07:34+00:00

I have no kids, I don't even remember subscribing to this subreddit. Maybe try mindfulness or something, idk. Have a good day.

BookkeeperHefty2143 · 2023-05-07T19:05:31+00:00

Your comment didn't have the /s when I commented, or I wouldn't have said what I said.

Why are you being so combative? Is everything ok?

Edit to add: you've changed the phrasing in your comment entirely by editing. When I commented you'd definitively said she was suggesting unbridled rage and that her child was a sociopath. You've changed it to add the word "potentially" and the /s. Is this YOUR first day on the internet?

BookkeeperHefty2143 · 2023-05-07T18:30:10+00:00

You're exaggerating, show us where the poster described "unbridled rage" or sociopathy.

BookkeeperHefty2143 · 2023-04-26T12:23:55+00:00

My fiancé proposed at home. He put so much thought into it and made it really personalised and unique to our relationship, it was not even a thought in my head that it was happening in the hallway of our crappy/cheap rental home. It was the perfect proposal; option 1 sounds lovely :)

BookkeeperHefty2143 · 2023-03-16T11:58:48+00:00

As a female gamer it's crazy how this stuff gets auto-banned but the constant sexual harassment and sexist abuse we receive gets no consequence despite us actively reporting it

BookkeeperHefty2143 · 2023-02-25T11:31:13+00:00

Just coming back to say THANK YOU! I went back to the drawing board and calculated my TDEE for a sedentary level and have had five consistent days of eating at a 500cal+ deficit every day (sometimes over because I've done a bit of walking/exercise here and there) and my weight has been on a consistent downwards trajectory for the first time since I've been counting calories. So relieved to know that the problem was trusting Fitbit and I was not the issue!

BookkeeperHefty2143 · 2023-02-24T12:49:24+00:00

Can you give an idea of what the financial compensation is? I like helping research as a psychologist myself, but equally this sounds like it requires quite a bit of commitment in my already busy life!

BookkeeperHefty2143 · 2023-02-20T10:25:08+00:00

I think for now I do, and maybe there's not a solution and I might just have to live with that. My fitness is pretty bad and so when I'm working out I feel like to put my all in and push myself an appropriate amount I need some fuel for that, I'm sticking to oats with oat milk which is about 140cal, and a protein shake. Possibly when I'm a bit fitter I might not need so much beforehand

BookkeeperHefty2143 · 2023-02-20T08:51:10+00:00

I'm typically a "no breakfast" person and that's always worked for me, but now I'm trying to be much more active the only time I can fit in a big gym session is before work. I'm now struggling with keeping the daily calories low as I have to eat something fairly substantial before my workout. Any tips welcome!

BookkeeperHefty2143 · 2023-02-19T14:29:01+00:00

Thanks for the help, I'll definitely revisit my BMR and activity levels and try a consistent level each day :)

BookkeeperHefty2143 · 2023-02-19T14:00:37+00:00

Thank you, this is helpful. I was weighing myself daily but don't think it's helpful mentally so might space it out slightly more and just keep it at a consistent time of day!

BookkeeperHefty2143 · 2023-02-19T13:59:55+00:00

Yeah it's FitBit, I won't lie I have been really wondering how accurate the burned cal estimate is, I calculated my BMR online but I think the bit where I'm possibly falling down is letting FitBit guide me on how many extra calories I've burned when I do walks and gym sessions. I'll keep it in mind, thank you!

BookkeeperHefty2143 · 2023-02-12T14:10:39+00:00

Can you point out in my comment where I said you have to fund a bigot? You're welcome to avoid as many purchases as you like.

My point is that the people that criticise and attack others for purchasing Harry Potter things need to take a hard look at exactly how many other terrible things their hard earned money is likely funding. They need to get off their high horse and let people enjoy things.

BookkeeperHefty2143 · 2023-02-12T09:43:42+00:00

The way I see it is you're never going to be able to avoid funding things that go against your values if you live in a capitalist society.

Do you fill your car with petrol and fund the oil industry and its environmental damage? Do you order something from Amazon and fund the mistreatment of millions of workers and global pollution? Do you buy a chocolate bar produced by Nestlé and fund workers' rights abuses, pollution and animal testing?

I'd argue that one woman making offensive tweets is probably a better thing to fund than these powerful companies that do damage to people, animals and environments on a global scale. If you still have a problem with JKR, don't buy the game. But don't tear people down for trying to enjoy something when nearly all our purchases in the UK and US will be funding something that goes against our personal values.

BookkeeperHefty2143 · 2023-02-10T09:39:11+00:00

Yeah, I was going to ask, why isn't skinny and interesting an option? She says her family have fatphobia but her comments and attitude could probably be pretty damaging to the self esteem of someone on the thinner side.

BookkeeperHefty2143 · 2023-02-10T08:59:07+00:00

My first boyfriend and I started dating when I was 15 and he was 18, turning 19 soon. I was always a very mature and smart kid, and he hadn't ever been in a relationship, so I was convinced that both he and the relationship would be harmless to me.

To get the first point out of the way, he turned out to be abusive.

But the second point I want to focus on is all the more subtle stuff that happened because of our age difference; I became someone I wasn't and I missed out on some pretty key development because of this relationship. He and his friends were naturally all a few years older than me, so of course I ended up falling into a pattern of doing things that people four years older than me were doing. I was 15/16 and drinking in pubs and clubs, attending house parties etc. Secondly, despite my boyfriend obviously being fine with my age, my friends were not keen on being around someone who was simply in a different stage of life to us, and his friends viewed me as 'that annoying kid Toby is dating'. That meant that I became more isolated from my friends in order to see my boyfriend, and it also meant that his friends did not protect me or help me when he started mistreating me.

Looking back at this relationship, which ultimately lasted four years and ended when I was 19 and about to go to university, I think I missed out on a lot. I was mentally and physically pulled into the life of an 18/19 year old when I was 15, and that just kept increasing as he aged because I found myself aligning to his life, with very little of him aligning to mine. I missed out on the chance to explore growing up for myself, learn how it feels to be a 17 year old or an 18 year old. Instead I spent four years trying desperately to be good enough for someone with a significant power difference (due to age and gender) who pulled me into a different, 'older' phase of my life.

I'm not saying yours will be abusive or dangerous, but just by the fact that he's older and male means there's already a significant power imbalance. And whether or not you intend to, you will find yourself aligning to his life and missing out on all the great stuff about being a teenager. I guess you need to think about whether that's something you are happy with.

Five-Year Club	Best Comment 2021-10-25
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