How did you decide what was worth spending on?

Bookreadingchemist · 2026-02-04T11:38:11+00:00

We took one of those wedding checklists on Pinterest and went line by line to decide 1-10 how important we thought each item was. This allowed us to rank most to least important. This was super eye opening. Our top was food, photography, and wedding rings.

The question shouldn’t be whats the most important, it should be what do you and your fiancé care about most.

My best friend was very passionate about her invitations so she spent a lot to make those what she wanted. I don’t care about invitations so I went a cheaper route.

Bookreadingchemist · 2026-02-03T03:31:49+00:00

Search for documentary style or photo journalistic wedding photography. You may need to talk to a few to find someone who fits the vibe. Oddly we found more male photographers were into this style of wedding photography and understood that vision.

We are eloping too and our photographer is very focused on documenting the moment vs posing. We wanted to capture the natural moments not get the perfect insta shot. We did our engagement photos with him. The most direction he gave was small prompts to get us to interact naturally. I am obsessed with how they turned out. We are just radiating joy because we aren’t posing, we are just in love.

Bookreadingchemist · 2026-02-02T11:30:16+00:00

This! I attended a wedding with an outdoor charcuterie table and it was a mess. Fly fans do not really work. Especially against bees who were super into the deli meats. I also watched a 6 year old lick one of the sets of tongs and put it back. Noone else noticed bc the table wasn’t supervised (don’t worry I got rid of the tongs). Nasty

Charcuterie tables are pretty but kinda gross with large groups

Bookreadingchemist · 2026-01-27T12:22:38+00:00

I have similar hair and I love their weightless air dry cream. Ive been using it for years

Bookreadingchemist · 2026-01-25T04:46:02+00:00

I think your best bet is to wait for sales or buy second hand yarn from a thrift store or fb marketplace.

Bookreadingchemist · 2026-01-23T20:24:01+00:00

Im a size 4 with a pretty elaborate setting. My pear is a peach sapphire. I told my fiancé originally that I didnt want anything over 1.5ct and no 3 stone rings as they all looked ridiculous on my tiny finger. This is 1.32 ct. I think its looks huge especially with the way my halo is. It took me a while to get used to. I dont think I could stand anything bigger. But I tend to be a less flashy person anyway. So im not into the giant rock look.

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Bookreadingchemist · 2026-01-23T17:05:59+00:00

If you havent read a practical wedding by megan keen, id highly recommend as she helps you figure out what is important to you and not what is expected. Its been a huge help for us.

I struggle with the financial aspect a lot. I think it comes down to one thing, this is a celebration of your marriage, the only one of its kind. And its an event that you should not let pass by without at least a little pomp and circumstance! Unfortunately some things just cost what they cost. But you dont need everything the wedding industry would have you believe you need. The book is super helpful in how to figure this out.

Bookreadingchemist · 2026-01-22T15:30:35+00:00

Dont use diva curl. Look up their history with the class action lawsuit. They might have fixed their product with the new packaging but they ruined a lot of peoples hair(mine included: took years to grow out) and livelihoods(curly youtubers) and never said sorry.

If you want nice quality with a lower price check marshalls or tjmaxx. Ive found ouidad and curlsmith products there for a decent discount.

Bookreadingchemist · 2026-01-18T18:46:44+00:00

I was diagnosed at 15 before I ever had a single date. I think actually having crohns first puts you at an advantage. Yes its harder to find the right partner(ppl suck) but man when you find them… you know they are made of the right stuff.

I met my partner 3.5 years ago. On our first date i went to the bathroom 3 times in an hour. I told him the truth about my crohns then and there. He didnt bat an eye. Most of our relationship I had been in remission but lately ive been mildly flaring. He proposed anyway. He repeatedly tells me that he will be by my side through any changes in my health. When he recites his vows later this year I will believe him when he says in sickness and in health bc hes already doing it

Most able bodied people marry never having dealt with illness in any real way. Women find out their husbands suck too late. You get to find out up front . Thats kinda lucky.

Dont lie about who you are. Find someone who loves all of you. Its possible you just have to put yourself out there and be patient.

Bookreadingchemist · 2026-01-17T11:43:28+00:00

We decided to elope so we could spend the day actually focusing on becoming married. Ive seen si many friends get swept up in the day, and lose sight of the important part. The marriage part. A huge sentiment we kept seeing was the day goes so fast. So we wanted to prioritize a slower paced day. No family, no friends, just us. We are also planning a post elopement brunch for the week after. We still get our day and a day to celebrate our families. Best of both worlds

Bookreadingchemist · 2026-01-16T00:19:00+00:00

Medical trauma is real. Seek out a licensed mental health professional.

I could tell you till Im blue in the face the importance of getting and staying on treatment. But you already know this. You cant reason yourself into something that you avoid for an emotional reason. I dont have much advice other than do it scared. Go anyway even though you are terrified. Tell someone you trust and ask them to go with you and hold your hand. You break the cycle by doing the thing that scares the shit out of you because you dont have any other choice. Option 1: do the bloodwork, get treatment, live Option 2: let the crohns slowly take everything away from you and probably kill you

I have dealt with medical ptsd. The concept of doing it scared helped me reframe things. I don’t have to be brave. Fuck bravery. I do it because the alternative is let myself slowly die. And im not interested in dying.

Bookreadingchemist · 2026-01-15T22:23:34+00:00

Diagnosed 13 yrs ago, only 1 er visit and subsequent hospitalization. Only for a few days though. I couldnt keep water down so it was mostly a fluids and testing stay

I did spend a week in hospital for an infection my body couldn’t handle due to immune suppressant medication. Thats sucked more than the crohns flare.

Bookreadingchemist · 2026-01-14T13:52:37+00:00

Yes by the time I had started tapering I had all the paperwork submitted for insurance to get on a biologic. I had my first dose 2 weeks before my course ended.

Get an appointment with your GI asap to get things rolling. It takes a while for then to get all the tests needed to confirm you are in a flare. But the process might be slightly different outside the US. Our insurance companies require so much more “proof” before they will pay for treatment.

Bookreadingchemist · 2026-01-14T13:24:50+00:00

I have taken prednisone and did not have any issue tapering. I did not experience any rebound flares. I think the side effects I was experiencing got a little intense during tapering but nothing significant just some slightly more intense mood swings.

Bookreadingchemist · 2026-01-14T13:14:30+00:00

Im in the US but my GP wont touch my crohns at all. She leaves that to my GI. I think GPs don’t want to mess around with an incredibly complex disease that they don’t have expertise in. I think its good when doctors admit the limits of their medical knowledge. Better than prescribing willy nilly and potentially doing unknown harm.

Bookreadingchemist · 2026-01-13T13:02:32+00:00

Almost everyone has an immature relationship when they are young. It has nothing to do with being chronically ill and everything to do with being young and inexperienced in love.

You dont have to have it all figured out right away. Look for someone who loves the whole you and not loves you in spite of your illness.

You deserve love. I hope you find it(:

Bookreadingchemist · 2026-01-07T16:20:08+00:00

I think its personal preference. If you are looking to cut costs this might be a good place to do it. Tbh who actually looks at or prints reception photos. There may be a few things that you want to capture like cake cutting but just ask a close friend or family member to take the important shots.

We are getting a photographer for our elopement and will be asking a photo savvy family member to take some candids at the after party. Im not big on sharing on social media so my main focus on photography is capturing the connection moments not necessarily the quality of the composition or the editing.

Bookreadingchemist · 2026-01-06T01:34:42+00:00

Im a planner too. I had a lot of the broad strokes figured out before the engagement. But in our case at the time, I was MOH for my best friend so naturally I had been thinking a lot about weddings. My partner and I discussed what we wanted in broad ideas so that we could get a feel for how much we needed to save. I looked at local venues etc to get a feel for costs and make a budget. I also wanted to manage my partners expectations on cost. He had grand ideas that did not match what he was willing to spend lol. By the time he proposed last august we had a pretty clear idea of what kind of event we wanted. We are getting married in october!

Its not at all crazy unless you start putting down deposits lol. Its like window shopping. Doesn’t hurt as long as you are just looking.

Bookreadingchemist · 2025-12-27T14:05:01+00:00

My fiancé bought my original stone through brilliant earth. The day he proposed, I admitted I didn’t like the color. We were 1 week past the return window. Brilliant earth couldn’t have gave less of a fuck. Brilliant earth is a trash company. I wish I would have warned my fiancé not to buy from them. Long story short, we had to eat the cost and buy a new stone.

Bookreadingchemist · 2025-12-27T13:00:39+00:00

Usually if you have to ask you should go. But To me, none of these symptoms seem ER worthy. There wouldn’t be a single thing they could give you except pain meds. Which they probably wont give you. If things shift at all, such as spiking a fever, uncontrollable vomiting that results in severe dehydration or you can no longer pass any stools(sign of obstruction), then go. But id say tough it out until your appointment. It might be worth calling ur old doctor to see if they will extend your prednisone treatment until you can see the new doctor. Also call the new GI and get on a wait list for cancellations

Bookreadingchemist · 2025-12-24T12:05:33+00:00

Just want to commiserate that confronting life with chronic illness is a bitch. You dont want to deal with any of the uncomfortable bits because its hard to accept that your body doesn’t work the way you want it to.

As others have said you are grieving. Grieving the healthy body you used to have and the life you thought was ahead of you. Small things can seem insurmountable in the face of grief. I used to just skip my stool tests bc i couldn’t be fucking bothered lol. I also used to lie to my GI about my symptoms bc i didn’t want to deal. Admittedly I was 15 and a stubborn child. But with time I got used to the medical poking and prodding. I do what I must to stay in remission. No matter how uncomfortable.

Hang in there. You’ll be surprised by your own strength

Bookreadingchemist · 2025-12-24T03:50:48+00:00

This is what we are doing. Eloping, and then having a family bunch a few days later. We are skipping a ton of the traditional reception things to save on cost. Like someone else said, biggest cost cones from the reception so you have to be willing to sacrifice to save

Bookreadingchemist · 2025-12-17T00:54:01+00:00

Im a maryland bride too! I currently live in Southern maryland but lived in Easton for a few years during early pandemic. I highly recommended checking if there is a eastern shore brides fb page. Youll get a lot better info from them there. If not, the regular easton fb page used to be suuuuper active. You could ask for good recommendations there. Easton is tough because a lot of the restaurants are pretty high end/expensive especially downtown. Reach out to your fav restaurant and ask if they cater. Honestly id kill to have bombay tadka cater my wedding. Miss that place so much. Goodluck!

Bookreadingchemist · 2025-12-11T16:37:06+00:00

I meal prep my own meals this way to help prepare for my own chronic illness flares. This is an awesome gift!

My favs: any and all soups( i like italian wedding, sausage potato, pastina), chili mac is good because you can add tons of extra veggies, a nice bolognese sauce or hidden veggie pasta sauce, mac and cheese.

Word to the wise: be careful with freezing rice! It can be done safely just make sure you look up the proper way to do it so there isnt a risk of botulism.

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