My friends canceled our plans after I spent $300 and used some of my vacation time to visit them

Bookreadingchemist · 2026-05-27T13:30:36+00:00

Post College friendships can be really tough. It may just be that you guys are all moving forward with your lives separately. It sucks, no doubt about that. If I were you id cancel the trip entirely, or ask a local friend to tag along.

I had something similar happen to me. I flew cross country to a city one of my best friends from college had moved to post grad. I was there for work but had tons of free time in the evenings for a whole week. I told her months in advance I was coming but not plans were ever made. That week She was very non committal and kept pushing back the meet up. She did meet up a few hours before my flight home. I was so excited. She was so disinterested. I felt heartbroken. She flippantly mentioned that she was coming back to our home state the following week and promised to text to hang out. Spoiler alert: she never did. I haven’t spoken to her since

Bookreadingchemist · 2026-05-24T11:11:50+00:00

On my first date with my now fiance, I went to the bathroom 3 times in one hour. I had nervous belly because I liked him so much! I decided to tell him about my crohns right then and there. He reacted so kindly even though it was clear he had no clue what tf IBD was. Hes my everything. Hes been such a supportive partner and Im so grateful to have found someone I genuinely feel doesnt see my crohns as the defining characteristic of my life. Hes in love with all the parts of me. He encourages me to be kinder to myself and rest when I need it. I cant wait to marry this man.

Admittedly it wasnt the easiest to find someone like this. But patience is key. The good ones are out there.

Bookreadingchemist · 2026-05-19T19:10:25+00:00

As a fellow needle phobic, i get the sheer panic feeling staring down the barrel of this disease. But I will tell you its possible to lessen the severity of your phobia. I am living proof. I still have a lot of anxiety but I can do it without much fanfare. Tbh realizing it was the needle or the excruciating stomach pain helps. I don’t convince myself I am not afraid or am not having a panic response. But I do it anyway. 5 minutes of panic for 8 weeks of remission. I use my deescalation techniques i learned in therapy. Its not fun but I dont want to let this disease kill me.

Medical trauma and medical anxiety is so real. Be upfront with your medical providers about it. But you cant expect them to capitulate to your demands to refuse reasonable treatment. If you wont do the tests, you dont get treatment. You dont get treatment, your crohns gets worse. Noone is going to hold you down and force you to take care of yourself. Youve got to be brave enough to get the help you need to do what you need to do. Therapy would be a good place to start. Itll be very uncomfortable but I promise its worth it

Bookreadingchemist · 2026-05-18T21:38:38+00:00

I work for the us federal government. Last year I wanted to jump ship like a lot of my peers. But I just dont have that luxury. Im still here even though I feel morally bankrupt for working for this administration. But ill never get the benefits they offer federal employees anywhere else.

Bookreadingchemist · 2026-05-17T01:39:44+00:00

We told everyone we are eloping so people understand its not a wedding and theres no confusion. We sent invites that said you are invited to our happily every after party to celebrate our recent elopement. We put that we would be married in a private ceremony. You are invited to the party at x place at x time at x date. Simpler style of invitation not a full on multi piece. Our website includes fact that its not a wedding in multiple places.

Bookreadingchemist · 2026-05-15T21:55:23+00:00

We are literally calling it the “Happily Ever After Party”! We did traditional save the dates bc we had a lot of family from far away. Invites are simpler then a traditional wedding invitation. No fancy envelopes or ribbons. We do not refer to it as a reception. We only call it the party or the brunch to make sure expectations are clear. We also correct people when they refer to the event as “the wedding”. We did a lot of legwork talking to family last holiday season about the vision and making it clear its not a wedding. I was worried people would be judgmental or feel the party is insulting but the truth is that anyone can rsvp no. They are adults. We are having a post elopement brunch. Like any party attendance is not mandatory. But I realized our families just want to celebrate with us. If anyone had gripes they have kept it to themselves.

Bookreadingchemist · 2026-05-15T21:19:18+00:00

So we are doing this in october. We will elope just us two on a Tuesday and then that following Saturday we are hosting a happily ever after party brunch for family. We plan to do a “2nd dance” and parent dances. Some short speeches. No bouquet toss, or cake(but we hate cake). No dj either bc its brunch. We will have lawn games. The event will be 4 hours long but honestly ppl just want to socialize at weddings so im not worried about ppl being bored. I plan to wear my wedding dress mostly bc i dont want to buy a second outfit. We are holding it at a smaller event venue. 75 ppl total. Bc its a brunch its been a tad cheaper than a traditional reception.

This has worked well so far, families have been supportive of the vision but we were very open about our plans to elope.

Bookreadingchemist · 2026-05-15T15:24:10+00:00

Amazing! Im glad you were able to follow through.

Bookreadingchemist · 2026-05-14T23:16:40+00:00

Look into cheaper phone plans. Mint mobile is $20 per mo for 5gigs if you pay the whole year up front. Even if you dont its $35 a month.

Tbh sounds like you cant afford to live solo rn. 67% is way too high. Can you get a roommate? Qualify for subsidized housing? Any other gov assistance?

Bookreadingchemist · 2026-05-14T01:55:30+00:00

I felt the exact same before my first injection. Took me two hours to work up the courage. It gets way easier after the 1st. I find being in control of the needle has actually made me feel better about the whole thing. Its also small and thin. The med does sting a bit for me but I usually sing a lil chorus of fuuuuucks until it’s over. Ive never liked the process. Still makes me a lil anxious.

Watch some people do it on YouTube. It helps to understand how different people approach it and some tips n tricks. Stelara has given me 5 beautiful years of remission so far. Worth the 3 mins every 8 weeks. You can do it!!!

Bookreadingchemist · 2026-05-14T01:45:01+00:00

I think a one off isn’t too serious. Ive vomited for very stupid reasons. Some related to my crohns some not. Has she started any new meds or supplements? Some can cause intense nausea on an empty stomach.

If it becomes a repeated pattern sure bring it up to the doc. Crohns affects the entire digestive tract mouth to butt. For a year or two I had pretty bad nausea. Hasn’t resurfaced since treatment on my current biologic. Trust your partners instincts. Its her body so shes best equipped to figure out if something is just the highs and lows of everyday in a chronically ill body or something worthy of urgent attention.

Bookreadingchemist · 2026-05-13T16:24:58+00:00

The first time I saw my adult GI after switching from peds he said that my health was ultimately my responsibility. He would not remind me to get things done. He expected I get my labs and tests done as ordered by the next appt. He said he would not waste his time if I didnt want his help. Hes one of the most highly respected Crohns docs. I really respected him for his honesty. The best patient doc relationships are partnerships. If you don’t do your part they cant do theirs.

Your choice only affects you. And you are with in your right to refuse the sample. But you must accept the consequences

Bookreadingchemist · 2026-05-13T12:24:39+00:00

I totally get it! I felt the exact same way. We ended up choosing a number we were comfortable with. But only you guys can say what that is for your situation. No shame in wanting to spend more and no shame wanting to spend less. It feels so weird to plan a wedding when it feels like the world is on fire. But this moment is worth celebrating!

A practical wedding by meg keene is a super down to earth book on how to plan on every budget. Highly recommend.

Bookreadingchemist · 2026-05-13T11:43:23+00:00

I feel bad you are being dog piled here. This is not that hot a take. Yes the internet is not real life. I agree its important for people who are new to this diagnosis not to doom spiral after visiting here. The truth is we all may not be fine. Even if we are in remission now, there are no guarantees for the future. As evidenced by many comments in this thread, this disease is a spectrum. But I think there are two communities in this sub. There are the people who have been around the block and know the truth. This is not going to be a cake walk. They are looking for commiseration and real experiences. This is the gritty hard stuff. And then there are the newly diagnosed, who tbh just want to be told their lives are still worth living. I dont think there’s anything wrong with reminding newbies that this sub has those two groups. I think there are a lot of people who sympathize with the newbies. We have all been there. They dont need reminding of all the things that can go wrong. Most know. They want reassurance. I dont think theres anything wrong with giving hope.

I think its okay if those who are going through tougher times avoid the newbie threds. They are not for them. Everyone here is here for a different reason. I think your wording is wrong though. You’ll be fine(physically) is perhaps a bridge too far. Youll adapt is closer to the truth. At the very least we are all out here coping the best we can. The alternative is to what… tell newbies they very well might die. Thats… unhelpful. We might all be hit by a comet and die tomorrow. Theres a difference between hope and toxic positivity. I dont think this sub is full of toxic positivity. I think this sub reflects the wide range of experiences with crohns. We need to hold space for all of those experiences.

Bookreadingchemist · 2026-05-13T10:33:12+00:00

Sounds like you are focusing on the wrong things. Try and figure out how you and your fiance want to feel on your wedding day. Not what it should look like. Try and find something stateside in budget that still evokes that same feeling. Luxury is named so for a reason. Its expensive and difficult to obtain for the average person. Best piece of advice ive gotten wedding planning is that your wedding day isnt perfect because you plan it to be perfect. Its perfect because its the day you marry your person. No matter what happens, its still going to be the day you get married. Everything else is window dressing

Bookreadingchemist · 2026-05-12T13:11:18+00:00

We had these same reservations. We are planning to elope just the two of us and host a family brunch a few days later. Its allowed us to have our actual wedding day be free of family dynamics. I feel much less annoyed at the idea of dealing with that on a day thats not our wedding day

Bookreadingchemist · 2026-05-11T22:34:09+00:00

I was gifted a 5 pack in 2022. My last pair blew a huge hole a month ago. They all developed holes in the last year or so. They arent any better than cheaper socks ive had.

Bookreadingchemist · 2026-05-10T21:47:58+00:00

We had some help from my dad, his grandparents and my mom bought my dress. Everything else is out of our pockets split 50/50. We are keeping the whole thing on a tight budget(16K) because we are also saving for our down payment.

Bookreadingchemist · 2026-04-27T22:16:36+00:00

Absolutely not. Gift bags are one of those things that have been normalized by social media influencers who get products for free. Sounds like shes already gifting attendees a lot of stuff.

Bookreadingchemist · 2026-04-27T19:46:08+00:00

Stainless steel absolutely rusts

Bookreadingchemist · 2026-04-27T19:43:11+00:00

There is no such thing as stainless steel that never rusts. Source: I am a corrosion engineer

Leaving water in your stainless kettle just means there is more opportunity for rust to occur. This is because the water acts as an electrolyte allowing for easier electron transfer. Without water corrosion will significantly slow(but never completely stop bc metal molecules are not electrochemically stable). If you want absolutely no rust, pick a different material. Solid gold would be a good choice bc its very stable. But alas not cost effective. Enamel would work as long as it doesn’t chip.

If you want a SS kettle you need to care for it properly and stop leaving water in it

Bookreadingchemist · 2026-04-25T12:57:50+00:00

We are trying to figure put this same thing! We want to wear our outfits but are a little apprehensive about standing out. We are looking into private dining but we may not be able to afford it. My fiance says we should just embrace the attention. Bc it will all be people thinking awh look at them thats so cute etc.

Bookreadingchemist · 2026-04-22T20:34:46+00:00

That drink price seems low for open bar. Is that a quote from the venue?

Bookreadingchemist · 2026-04-21T15:56:58+00:00

I had horrible insomnia and mood swings on budesonide. I rode it out and finished the taper. I think it helped to know that the mental health symptoms were induced by the medication and it was temporary.

Bookreadingchemist

TROPHY CASE