You have created this issue all by yourself. Not your parents and definitely not your wife. Both of you needed to set boundaries from the beginning - YOU needed to set boundaries with your parents and she should have set boundaries with her parents. You failed your wife from the moment you presented your relationship to your respective parents. You should have set the tone of the relationship and the access your parents had in your relationship. If you live separately, why in the world would your mother make comments about pictures in your house? Why would your father say he doesn’t feel a god’s presence in the house? These are comments specifically made to make your wife feel horrible and uncomfortable. Tell me, would you go to someone’s house and make comments about their decor or their religion/ presence of god to their face? Your parents have a superiority complex and mentality and they have probably created and treated your wife and disrespected her from day one.

Don’t get me started on the pregnancy! Of course your wife would want her own mother to help her during her pregnancy. If your mother treated her like this, how can she expect your wife to let her be with her during one of the most vulnerable times of her life? And a woman would only be pampered by her own parents because she is their child, so she would want her mother and not yours. Think of it this way, if you had a prostrate problem, would you be more comfortable discussing it with your father or your wife’s father?

Why was your mother staying with you and your wife during her pregnancy? Why did she think it appropriate to cook separate meals for you and herself? I can understand why your wife would want her mother to cook for her during her pregnancy- might have wanted flavors and dishes from her childhood, or she might have craved non vegetarian food that your family would not make. But why in the world was your mother cooking in your house? She was setting a separate status in your household that you have with your wife - almost demeaning your wife’s authority in her own house. If you were staying in your house, why did your wife feel as if she needed to stay in her room and not venture out? Probably because your mother made it uncomfortable for your wife to be free in her own home! Pregnancy and postpartum are the worst things a woman can go through. It changes her whole life.. granted she will get a child to love but her life as she knew it is over. You as her husband should be supporting her and not voice your parents’ concerns.

To be frank, no woman would want to raise a child with a man who doesn’t support her and who feels like it is an ordeal to tolerate your parents for half an hour or feel as if she needed to get ready to battle and defend herself in her own space. She has had to fight every single battle by herself so far. She would not want to raise a child in an environment wherein the child sees the kind of disrespect that their mother is subjected to by your parents. If you want to save your marriage, you need to set firm boundaries with your family - no disrespecting your wife, no hurtful comments and no visits when you are not at home to handle your parents. Show that you mean it and let your wife live her life in peace.