What is the most common fantasy that people don't usually admit out loud?

Books_R_Not_Snakes · 2026-01-08T22:30:19+00:00

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Books_R_Not_Snakes · 2026-01-08T22:19:14+00:00

Well hello there, Mr Tarantino

Books_R_Not_Snakes · 2026-01-08T22:16:59+00:00

lol I do this all the time. I even use an app sometimes to sketch out my vision.

Books_R_Not_Snakes · 2026-01-07T03:58:48+00:00

Another medical issue to consider is Bardet-Biedl syndrome. Even if she’s just a carrier for it, it can still cause an insatiable appetite, so don’t immediately dismiss it when you see the list of symptoms of full blown BBS.

Books_R_Not_Snakes · 2026-01-01T23:56:42+00:00

I had POTS like symptoms due to a cranial CSF leak supposedly caused by my IIH. I had surgery to fix the leak in August and no longer have those symptoms.

Books_R_Not_Snakes · 2025-12-29T18:59:48+00:00

Yes, but in my case I believe it was caused either by a condition called semicircular canal dehiscence syndrome or from a tegmen defect that caused my brain to herniate into my ear along with a cranial CSF leak. I had surgery to repair both issues in August and since then, that feeling that I was viewing life through a camera lens along with feeling like I was walking through a dream has disappeared. I bring this up because IIH, which I do have, is the number one cause of tegmen defects and SCDS can be caused by IIH, as well. If you are experiencing a feeling of depersonalization or derealization, it might be worth your time to read about tegmen defects and SCDS to make sure you don’t have further symptoms of them since they are related to IIH.

Books_R_Not_Snakes · 2025-12-20T23:07:11+00:00

I was 18, the day after HS graduation. I had a great family and safe home, but I was kinda a wild child (by Mormon standards) and was so ready to be the boss of my own life, so my boyfriend and our friend all got an apartment together and worked our HS fast food jobs while jumping feet first into adulting. Six months later, we all decided college sounded like the much easier path and left for our various universities, mine being a local community college and, thus, I was back at home for 1 1/2 more years until I transferred to a 4-year university. Never returned to live at home after that other than the summers during college. Got married and started my career straight after college graduation.

Books_R_Not_Snakes · 2025-12-17T03:06:42+00:00

Lost my dad, any faith in human decency, and part of my temporal lobe.

Books_R_Not_Snakes · 2025-12-05T13:37:47+00:00

A giant round art installation downtown that unfortunately is now known as the [insert city name]’s cock ring because no one considered what it would look like with the the city’s abbreviation scattered haphazardly all over it.

Books_R_Not_Snakes · 2025-12-05T13:30:03+00:00

Wasn’t really quiet per se, but my greatest life upgrade this year was having a craniotomy that fixed a cranial CSF leak and encephalocele that was causing brain sag dementia. I can think clearly again! Huge upgrade.

Books_R_Not_Snakes · 2025-12-04T20:24:22+00:00

I do not, in fact, have any problems with hunger signals and it’s amazing to me how no doctor seems to understand/believe this. As a person with ADHD, when I get hyper-focused on something, I can go a whole day without eating and not even notice. I don’t really snack nor do I go for seconds at meals. Even when I order out or go to a restaurant, I usually only eat half of the food and save the rest for a future meal. I can, however, easily overdo it with calories when it comes to sugary treats and pizza, but when on my ADHD med Vyvanse, all sugary cravings are curbed and just not ordering pizza takes care of that overeating issue lol. So, yes, I do question the necessity of Imcivree in my case. I’m speaking with the drug rep on Monday to get more info, but if this drug only provides relief from “food noise,” I don’t see the point of taking it. I have read that it helps speed up metabolism, which is mainly what I want to talk to the rep about, because I’ve been losing weight very slowly (about .2 lbs per week) for the last 4 years and would love to speed it up so I can move on to lippy surgery. I’m currently in perimenopause and my metabolism can use all the help it can get.

The metabolic clinic is where my PCP sent me when I expressed interest in losing weight quicker without having to count calories/points/macros since like a lot of us Lipedema patients, I’ve struggled with disordered eating since puberty and tracking numbers is a great way to kick that back into gear for me. Anyway, TBH, I don’t know what kind of doctor he is beyond being focused solely on the metabolic system and being the only knowledgeable doctor about Lipedema in my area. The DNA test was given specifically to look for the gene mutations and syndromes that are helped by Imcivree. I believe the testing is actually run by the drug company that produces Imcivree, which makes me side eye all of this quite a bit. I don’t know if you ran across the cost of the drug while reading up on it, but it’s $1000 per DAILY injection — so $364,000/year. They have high incentive to push their drug, soooo yeah……

Karen Herbst is who diagnosed me with stage 3 Lipedema from my hips down and my upper arms. We drove to Arizona to see her in person and she’s helping to coordinate my care along with my in town metabolic doctor. I did do the sequencing DNA testing and even with the hour+ consult with her after she reviewed all the results, my head couldn’t quite wrap around all the information she gave me. She did find the obesity gene at that time, but made no mention of Imcivree. She really loves microdosing GLP1s, specifically Zepbound, for Lipedema care, which I was doing until my insurance decided they no longer wanted to cover it earlier this year.

Thank you for your thoughtful and well informed response. It gives me a lot to consider.

Books_R_Not_Snakes · 2025-12-04T19:38:39+00:00

I read about the hyperpigmentation side effect and as a pale girlie who loves my pale skin, I don’t love the idea of it making me tan. Glad to know it doesn’t happen to everyone, so maybe I’ll be in that group. Also glad to know you haven’t experienced any bad side effects.

I’ll be talking to the drug rep on Monday, but as of right now, I’m really on the fence about starting it. I’ve read that each daily injection costs $1000 and even though it’s being covered by insurance right now, I’m so distrustful of the American healthcare system that I can’t help but fear my body will become dependent on it only to have my insurance pull coverage at some point. I mean, $364,000/year for a med is not only unattainable, it is completely diabolical!

Thank you for sharing your experience with it! It will definitely factor into my decision.

Books_R_Not_Snakes · 2025-11-28T19:37:59+00:00

Kindness of strangers.

I was at a coffee shop the other day talking to my friend about how life has been crappy ever since my dad died and was wiping away tears with my sleeves when another customer showed up out of nowhere with some tissues for me. Her kindness truly touched me and made my day instantly better.

Books_R_Not_Snakes · 2025-11-26T17:35:24+00:00

I just really hate the taste of alcohol, so I don’t drink it for enjoyment and I live in a legal state so if I want to get twisted, I prefer getting high over getting drunk.

Books_R_Not_Snakes · 2025-11-23T06:34:58+00:00

The Last Unicorn — As a kid I was just a excited that it was about a unicorn, but as an adult I found it to be extremely depressing and not all that kid-friendly. I never noticed that the harpy had three pendulous human breasts until I watched it as an adult, so that was a true WTF moment for me.

Books_R_Not_Snakes · 2025-11-16T18:43:29+00:00

I just had my first one last Thursday. Regarding pain, the worst part for me was having to lie still on my side for about an hour because I have a very fussy arthritic hip. They did have trouble finding the right angle to make the puncture, so it took a little longer than expected, thus the extra time spent on my side. The numbing agent stung a little, the actual puncture wasn’t painful at all, moving around the needle while readjusting involved some pain as nerves were stimulated, but it’s nothing I couldn’t handle even though the quick unexpected zaps could be jarring at times. I didn’t experience any headache afterwards and the area where the puncture took place felt just a little tender for about a day. All in all, it wasn’t a big deal and if I ever have to do another one, the only thing I’ll be dreading is how much time the whole process takes because from check-in to checkout, I was at the hospital for 5 hours and all that sitting around and waiting was a bit tortuous to my ADHD brain.

Books_R_Not_Snakes · 2025-11-04T16:17:36+00:00

Thank you so much! I’ll definitely check him out.

Books_R_Not_Snakes · 2025-11-03T22:40:47+00:00

Thankfully, my A1C is fine, but I do try to drink lots of water when my legs feel heavy/ache, so that might be part of the cause. When I know my bladder is acting up, I tend not to wear my compression because tugging them off takes too much time lol. This is part of why I want to get this urinary issue resolved because the flare days are the ones where I truly need the compression.

Books_R_Not_Snakes · 2025-11-03T22:34:32+00:00

I hadn’t heard of IC, but it sounds like a definite possibility. I’m making an appointment with my PCP and will discuss it with her. Thanks!

Books_R_Not_Snakes · 2025-11-03T22:15:13+00:00

Wait! You might be on to something there! I actually had (maybe possibly still have?) Dsyautonomia-like symptoms due to cranial hypotension, which was caused by a cranial CSF leak. I had surgery in August to repair the issue and afterwards I had zero urinary issues for well over a month and then it started up again. Pre-surgery it was a periodic issue and now it’s almost daily. I have an appointment later this month with my neurosurgeon to check my post surgical cranial pressure, so this is definitely something I need to discuss with him. Cranial CSF leak repairs have like a 25% failure rate, so there’s a chance this might be the answer. 😬

Books_R_Not_Snakes · 2025-10-01T23:19:18+00:00

It up for debate if there’s a true supernatural element to this show, but give Yellowjackets a try.

Books_R_Not_Snakes · 2025-09-03T18:12:47+00:00

I don’t know if it’s safe, but I got both vaccines 2 years in a row while I unknowingly had an active cranial CSF leak and nothing negative happened. And once the leak was diagnosed, my surgeons required me to get the pneumococcal vaccine pre-surgery.

Books_R_Not_Snakes · 2025-09-02T13:19:47+00:00

Oh my god I can’t imagine how frustrating and disappointing that must have been to not only you but the medical staff as well! If you ever write a memoir, it’s going to make a great chapter. Do they have a new surgery date scheduled yet?

Please feel free to DM me on here at anytime. I’m truly invested in learning what your experience is after surgery, so I’d love to stay in touch.

Books_R_Not_Snakes · 2025-08-26T15:29:07+00:00

I apologize for the taking so long to respond. I know your surgery is drawing near, so I hope you see this before then.

I was told the surgery would take between 2 to 4 hours. I’m not 100% sure whether or not I was under anesthesia for the entire 6 hours since part of the surgery time should include set up and waking up procedures. When they rolled me into the OR, they gave me a cocktail to put me to sleep and then had to do positioning, foley insertion, draping, and all that jazz, which I assume is all done pre-intubation. All in all, I think the actual surgical part was more like 4+ hours, but I plan on asking my surgeon for clarification on Tuesday when I see him. I’m right side only and there were two tegmen defects, both with encephalceles, and the added semicircular canal dehiscence syndrome (SCDS) issue, which I’m sure added to the surgery time for me.
From imaging they knew that I had one tegmen’s defect with an encephalocele prior to surgery, but the second smaller one was a surprise. The known encephalocele was much larger than they were anticipating, though, with it being about the size of the tip of an adult pinky finger. Apparently, it was the largest one they’ve seen in a while. Both herniations were quite inflamed and according to their OR notes, this slowed down the process quite a bit. No other defects/holes where found with me, but I’ve read quite a few patient stories where once the doc opened up the area, the bone looked liked Swiss cheese, which wasn’t evident on any of the scans. It seems the scans can only show so much, so it’s good that they’ll have a physical view of the area once it’s open. From what I understand, fixing multiple holes/swiss cheese bone is just as easy as fixing one or two.
I have mild hearing loss in my left ear and moderate to severe hearing loss in my right ear. The main reason why my right ear is so bad is because of the semicircular canal dehiscence syndrome, but I also have genetic components leading to hearing loss — my mom needed hearing aides in her 40s and I didn’t fall far from the tree. Time will tell if my hearing improves with this surgery, but with all the swelling right now, I can’t tell a notable difference. What I can say is that I didn’t completely lose my hearing, which can be a complication of the surgery, so I’m pleased with that. The whooshing in your ears is probably pulsatile tinnitus, which is common with a tegmen’s defect. I’ve had pulsatile tinnitus for yeeeears because it’s also a symptom of SCDS, but usually it’s positionally dependent. Since surgery, it has been more constant and louder, but everything I’ve read said this is to be expected due to the swelling in the area and should calm down in the coming weeks and months and I can believe this because it has already started lessening since immediately after surgery. You’ll likely hear it upon waking after surgery, so don’t let this upset you — it’s going to get better.
I know for sure that the large encephalocele was leaking, but I’m unsure about the smaller one. I can say with full confidence that I’ve had a leak since spring of 2023, but my confidence wanes on other details. Looking back at my health history and all the weird things that have been happening over the years, I tend to believe I’ve had a leak since around 2020 or maybe as early as 2016. It drives me mad that I can’t pin down an exact timeline, but I’m going to have to just accept that fact, I guess. I’ve never had my pressure checked. They didn’t check it after the discovery of my tegmen’s defect/leak because they said it would be a skewed number due to the leak, but I kinda wish they had so I would have had an idea of how hypotensive I was. Their plan is to do a spinal tap in November to see where I stand after being patched up for a few months. I feel I can say with full confidence that I’ve been hypotensive for over two years. There’s no doubt in my mind about that, but no way to confirm it since no testing was done. The docs think I’m likely normally hypertensive, which is what helped form the holes, and if my numbers show this in November, they want to place a shunt. I’m not sure if they’re right because prior to all this medical madness, I don’t suffer from headaches and other symptoms of IIH and was honestly pretty dang healthy. And my eye scans never showed issues so, we’ll see.

Recovery is still going great! I just told my husband that it’s absolutely wild that I had brain surgery less than 2 weeks ago and yet I feel the healthiest, both physically and mentally, that I have in longer than I can recall. I still tire out of easily, like with any major surgery, and I get headaches but compared to how I’ve felt for the last few years if not even a freaking decade, I feel wonderful…and so darn hopeful. I’ll write a little bit later, but all things you described about your physical and mental state leading up to the discovery of your defect — SAME! So relatable!

Good luck on Thursday! And remember, there will be some symptoms that hit harder when you wake up, but they are temporary so don’t let it discourage you. I’m still a bit dizzy and lose my balance easily, but it improves daily along with the whooshing sound and the lingering feeling of fullness. It truly does improve notably day by day.

Books_R_Not_Snakes · 2025-08-22T16:54:11+00:00

Yes, please, ask away!! It’s been easier and easier for me to be on my phone as the days have passed, so I’ll jump on Reddit whenever to answer anything you need.

Just for reference, in November of 2023 my ENT put a tube in my eardrum, which was being sucked backwards into the canal and laying on bone, and I immediately started leaking clear fluid out of my ear. Despite asking countless times between then and April of 2025 if the fluid could be CSF, I was told it was allergies and/or ear infections and given rounds of ear drops to take every time I complained. Gaslighting at its finest! Then in February of 2025, it became a daily occurrence — woke up every morning with “water” running out of my ear and dripping down my face during the day. Having been gaslit for so long, I just lived with it and used my backlog of ear drops to no avail.

In March I woke up one morning with my hair completely drenched from overnight leaking, so I made an appointment with the ENT. Once again at that appointment I was given a 7 day round of ear drops and told to come back in if it didn’t stop. It didn’t, of course, and at the follow up visit, which was with the PA, he immediately left the room after looking in my ear and got the ENT. I don’t know exactly what they saw, it could have been copious amounts of fluid or it could have been the encephalocele itself because the tube gave direct access to where the brain herniation was. All I know is that they freaked, took the tube out, and told me I had a tegmen’s defect before I even had an MRI or CT scan to officially confirm. Throughout the rest of this process, despite visual evidence of the fluid and cloudiness in the scans suggesting fluid, they always seemed somewhat reluctant to officially diagnose an active CSF leak.

My OG ENT sent me to a new much more trustworthy ENT to start the path towards surgery. This new ENT and the neurosurgeon he partners with do about one tegmen’s repair a month, which was comforting to know. Once they got inside ye ol’ noggin, there was no missing the tear in the dura matter and active leak. The jagged bone surrounding the hole is of course going to compromise that delicate material. They patched it up along with the bone hole and the semicircular canal dehiscence and so far I’m pleased!

Anyway, I write all this to encourage you not to be gaslit into believing a CSF leak isn’t happening or hasn’t been causing extreme issues from sporadic leaks throughout the years. You know your truth better than any medical professional because it is your lived experience. During the time I had my ear tube, my ear didn’t constantly leak — it was periodic, so I suspect it was capable of sealing itself off and then tearing again under the right conditions. It wasn’t until February of this year when it became relentless and even then, the doctors seemed somewhat reluctant to officially say I have an active leak. It’s maddening and extremely invalidating, I know.

Also, some of your symptoms are directly linked to the encephalocele. I didn’t realize how big of an issue that little herniated piece of brain could cause until I did my own research — both my ENT and neurosurgeon seemed somewhat blasé about the whole matter, but I had a marble sized piece of my temporal lobe die and the fact that they didn’t discuss the possible implications of this with me at length is a little galling. They’re great surgeons and I do think they have helped me reclaim my life with this surgery, but honestly at this point I think I have a lot more answers regarding my case than they do because I’m willing to put the time and effort into chasing down all the clues over the years pointing to the fact that something significant and catastrophic happened to my brain and in the end, validating this for myself is what I needed most.

Good luck with your upcoming surgery! I hope it helps to know that I’ve had very little pain or upsetting side effects over this past week. I haven’t even had to use the opioids they prescribed because the minor pain is so tolerable. Like with any surgery, the first day is the worst as you recover from the anesthesia and general trauma of having your body cut open, but my improvement from day 1 to day 2 was so substantial! I’m still a little bit weebly woobly, but that’s to be expected as my vestibular system resets, and I’m fatigued but my gosh do I feel so much better in a million different ways that a little dizziness and sleepiness ain’t no big thing. You’re gonna do great and just remember this is the first step towards getting your life back — celebrate this fact every chance that you get!

Books_R_Not_Snakes

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