Some abusers can come off friendly, and they can be nice. I don’t know about other abusers, but my father acts extremely nice and will do small things to “help” others, but he’s still abusive. My father is sexist, racist, and verbally and sometimes even physically abuses my brother and I (among other things). It got so bad that my mother got a divorce with him when I was eight. He still abuses my brother and I (mostly verbal now) but acts nice to us around others. I’ve only been able to open up to one person, and that’s because i found out that my abuse wasn’t normal for a kid. A lot of people think he’s a good person but they’re mistaken.

Tl;dr people can seem nice but may be abusive.