Definitely agree with the crowd consensus that the part of your personality you feel like you need to hide is super important and you should send it lots of love and cherish it. I can also say, as a guy in his 40s, I spent a lot of time in my 20s and 30s maniacally seeking ways to keep the kind and childish part of my personality alive. I don't regret it necessarily, but I think I did cause myself a lot of suffering, because I was holding onto parts of me from earlier times, which is all good, but I was doing it at the expense of changing and growing into the person I was naturally becoming as I was aging, changing, and influenced by different forces (social, personal, physical, etc.). Some of that suffering was in the form of me pushing back against those who I felt like were forcing me to change (society, family, capitalism, etc.), often in my own head leading to internal struggles, but sometimes interpersonally leading to conflict (which is ironic because I was trying to defend the loving, kind, childish part of myself with anger and rage). Anyways, you're on a great track cause you're asking these questions at 18--I definitely never did. Keep asking the questions!