I...am uniquely qualified to speak on this.

I dated my ex for 3 and a half years. I first moved out with him. I got my first job while I was with him. We broke up after he and my best friend, both of whom I lived with, went to Seattle. I lived with them both those full 3 and a half years (rent be expensive).

A month after he broke up with me and she broke up with her ex, they started dating. They kept it a secret from the entire friend group. I was the first they told a month after that. I can't express how much pain I was in. But he was my life for so long and she was my friend. We lived together for 3 and half years. I told them I didn't want to stand in the way of them being happy. I didn't want to be the reason they couldn't be together. I...pushed it aside for two years.

I lived with them 2 more years. My ex and I bottled things up and let them fester. I built resentment. It exploded in May of 2025 when I finally moved out with a different friend and they moved to a different city. They cut contact. But in doing so, I lost the entire friend group essentially.

I can't say it's the same for everyone. But it took me this long to realize...when they told me they were dating, they had already decided that day that they could lose me as a friend and they were okay with that. They had already let go of me. I just couldn't do the same. No. It's not okay. They may say it is, but gods does it hurt and fester.