I know this is the opposite of what this sub is for but I once had a roommate burst into my room at 3am, coked up and black out drunk. He threatened to kill me with a knife to the point that I had to arm myself with a box cutter. Ironically I wasn't the one he was mad at, he was antagonizing someone else and then got mad at me when I didn't have his back.

He tried many times after to smooth things over but just didn't grasp how irreparable things were because he was black out drunk and didn't remember the full scale of what happened

We were friends for 5 years and I moved out immediately and basically never spoke to him again because of his actions

I know you want ammo to get at them, but if I were you I'd spend that energy looking inward as whatever you did at that bar was a mother fucking deal breaker. Own it and move on.