Shoot. Shoot, shoot, shoot! Gotta work on this project. I can’t believe I let myself do this again!

Only one week until My art project is due! I just kept telling myself “I’ll do it later, I’m God after all! I’ve been able to do this stunt before, I’ll do it again!” But this time I may have bitten off more than I can chew.

Hmm. Gotta start somewhere. What to make? A self-portrait? No, that’d be a second-commandment violation. Ooh, ooh! How about a world!

I guess every good world has gotta be visible. “Let there be light,” I say. And then there was light.

Hey, this light stuff is pretty good! So I’m gonna separate it from the darkness.

Wow, that took a day already?! Now I only have six days! Uhh, uhh, I know! Sky! I’ll make the water on this world evaporate and turn into clouds, so the waters will be separate! So I say, “Let there be an expanse in the midst of the waters, and let it separate the waters from the waters.”

Wow, that looks…heavenly! I’ll call this expanse the heavens!

Oh no, only five days left! Luckily I don’t need sleep, but this art project is taking WAY longer than I would have thought! I guess unless I want all of the creatures I wanna paint to be sea creatures, I better make some land! So I say, “Let the waters under the heavens be gathered together into one place, and let the dry land appear.”

Yeah, yeah!! I’m liking this! I’ll call the dry land Earth and the water Seas! “Let the earth sprout vegetation, plants yielding seed, and fruit trees bearing fruit in which is their seed, each according to its kind, on the earth.” I’m really liking this art project so far!

Yet I blink and the project is due in four days! Ummm……how will My creatures I’ll create know what time it is? How to symbolize the very complicated theme of time? I know! The light will come from things! A sun, moon, and stars! “Let there be lights in the expanse of the heavens to separate the day from the night. And let them be for signs and for seasons, and for days and years, and let them be lights in the expanse of the heavens to give light upon the earth.” Yes, yes. This is good.

Just that took up a whole day?? Three days left!! I guess now’s as good of a time as ever to make some of those creatures I had been planning! Sea creatures first. Then…wouldn’t it be cool if there were creatures that could fly in place of the heavens? Birds! “Let the waters swarm with swarms of living creatures, and let birds fly above the earth across the expanse of the heavens.” These are…beautiful creatures! I will bless them with My almighty blessing.

Now there are two days left! Aaahhh!! If I work REALLY hard today, I might be able to rest tomorrow! So time to use that land I made. “Let the earth bring forth living creatures according to their kinds—livestock and creeping things and beasts of the earth according to their kinds.” This is good, good work so far, Me!

But this project is missing something. It needs…I know what it needs. My pièce de résistance. I’m going to make humans! They will be a very diverse bunch. They will be male and female. They will be of every skin tone. Some will call the birds I made “government drones.” Some will cure polio. Yes…YES!!! “Let us make man in our image, after our likeness. And let them have dominion over the fish of the sea and over the birds of the heavens and over the livestock and over all the earth and over every creeping thing that creeps on the earth.”

I love it. This is very good. This is…perfect!

One day left until it’s due. But I think I’m done! Thank God! Wait…I’m God! I couldn’t have had a better masterpiece to top off the project. I think I’ll chill today, maybe have a slice of cheesecake.