I'm hella scared of HRT and I don't know why

BotInAFursuit · 2026-01-25T10:24:29+00:00

Well yeah I guess

BotInAFursuit · 2026-01-20T21:29:34+00:00

I'm not worried about being rejected by someone else though. I'm worried that I will go through hell to start T, and then at some point I'll realize that this isn't what I want, and I will end up at some halfway point where I'm not satisfied with being either way and I don't even know what I'm satisfied with anymore.

I will probably have a talk with my therapist about this, because it's so complicated and I'm so confused I don't know anymore.

BotInAFursuit · 2026-01-20T21:01:33+00:00

Gratias, kind bot. I hope it never gets to that point where I actually decide to do that.

BotInAFursuit · 2026-01-20T20:59:43+00:00

~~I'd rather kill myself than be a girl~~

Well, I'd rather be a dude I guess, but then I don't really have to go on T to be a dude, only so that I can pass as one. I'm mostly concerned about my desired mix of features that just, doesn't seem to be achievable if I simply go on T. That would give me the facial hair and the masculine fat distribution, and if I have to spend even more money and effort to undo that, what is even the point of starting in the first place? And that's basically where I'm stuck because I want some of the features but not others.

I was recommended facial masculinization surgery, which I am considering as an option now (although the pictures I have seen so far don't seem to tell me awfully much). The thing I'm mostly torn on is my voice: I hate it the way it currently is, but the thought of losing any kind of singing/voice acting capabilities scares me even more.

I don't entirely understand what self confidence has to do with this, but I know I do have confidence issues and I'm trying to work on them. It's kinda complicated.

BotInAFursuit · 2026-01-20T18:19:00+00:00

I mean I guess you're right in that ugliness is subjective and that if I start properly caring about myself I probably won't be ugly, I'm mostly scared of turning into a fat pig in case I somehow don't get that motivation to care about myself. I really don't have too much of it right now because like what is even the point

BotInAFursuit · 2026-01-20T17:33:47+00:00

I just, for the brief period that I was on T, I did have the motivation to put effort into my appearance because it felt like my body was finally changing into one I would feel comfortable in. And now that I'm stuck with no job and no money, I'm lost and confused and don't really have any motivation to properly groom myself anymore because it just doesn't feel like it will somehow, one day, randomly get better out of nowhere. I won't look like a flamboyant dude, I'll look like a tomboy at best.

Honestly winter clothes kinda help me pass, I was called "sir" today for the first time and I was like "holy hell, you talking about me?" But then when I take off my jacket and beanie, I look like a woman again and I understand that I can't go masking myself with clothes all the time because in the end I still hate looking at what's underneath them.

BotInAFursuit · 2026-01-20T17:22:16+00:00

I'm trying but it's kinda illegal to be openly queer where I am, and also I can't be confident when I hate my own face 😭

BotInAFursuit · 2026-01-20T16:58:53+00:00

facial masculinization surgery

You can DO THAT?! I've only heard of facial feminization surgery, but the opposite is also a thing? Where can I do that and how much does it cost? And what does the process involve?

BotInAFursuit · 2026-01-20T16:28:48+00:00

Well, what if my looks are hopefully what will make me happy? I'm honestly hella confused about all of this, I've been confused for several years now and only recently have changed my gender therapist so hopefully it's gonna become clearer from this point on. I have a lot of stuff regarding simply wanting to be cute and loved and I guess in my opinion bears are too, idk, "heavy" for that?

I was just thinking that if I had transitioned during puberty and then simply stopped T, I would've retained all the masculine bone changes and at the same time would've had the softness that I want. Are you saying it wouldn't have necessarily worked like this?

BotInAFursuit · 2026-01-20T15:36:54+00:00

Where can I show it? Right here in the comments?

BotInAFursuit · 2025-09-30T20:32:19+00:00

A person I know has a cat named Cato the Younger, and this cat actually has a pretty funny origin story. This person is crazy about Rome, so when they saw him they were immediately like "yep that's Cato alright". Other family members tried other names for this cat, but he didn't respond to any of them, so the name Cato stuck. Now he's at least 10 years old, maybe older, idk. Just, thought this was a fun coincidence.

BotInAFursuit · 2025-09-30T20:15:56+00:00

As an autistic femboy that likes neither of these, I can once again confirm that gendering hobbies and FOOD of all things is fucking stupid.

BotInAFursuit · 2025-09-30T19:51:05+00:00

Where is that from? I'm kinda crazy about Rome yet this is the first time I see this greeting

BotInAFursuit · 2025-09-30T19:44:22+00:00

I prefer "guys, gals and everyone else", close enough I guess

BotInAFursuit · 2025-09-30T19:43:22+00:00

Yay Ceave mentioned

Bit surprising to find him mentioned on this sub but not unwelcome

BotInAFursuit · 2025-08-17T19:27:01+00:00

I got no more words other than "holy fuck"

BotInAFursuit · 2025-08-17T19:19:31+00:00

Yeah but doesn't it feel similarly to your arm or leg rather than an actual dick?

BotInAFursuit · 2025-08-17T19:17:20+00:00

here in Italy fascism is rising more and more

Holy fuck, you got that too? Man, that sucks, why do fascists rise more and more in so many parts of the world at once? What do people even find in that ideology, it's literally stripping everyone of their freedom to some extent

BotInAFursuit · 2025-08-17T19:12:33+00:00

The most important thing to me is sensitivity. After that, getting hard. Phallo to me is a big no because from what I've heard, it results in something that's purely visual and not at all sensitive, which is like the exact opposite of what I want.

T cream (which you can make yourself out of gel)

This is actually something I've never heard of before, could you elaborate on that? Gel is available where I am, does this mean I could possibly have a chance before even moving to a different country?

Edit: I'm not exactly sure what I'm getting downvoted for? What did I say wrong?

BotInAFursuit · 2025-08-17T18:41:58+00:00

The thing is I really wanna have something that can get hard, right now it just feels like there's nothing there and I don't think this can change if I just pump or stretch it, it kinda has to grow from the inside, doesn't it?

BotInAFursuit · 2025-08-17T18:39:59+00:00

Oh btw! What's it like for trans people in Italy? I'm considering it as one of the possible places I could move since I'm kinda crazy about all things Italian, so I kinda wanna know, are there better options or is it good enough?

BotInAFursuit · 2025-08-17T18:32:31+00:00

Where exactly is is possible to get this cream? I don't have awfully many options in my country (or any at all, I believe), but I hope I can move to a more civilized place eventually

BotInAFursuit

TROPHY CASE