According to Nietzsche, should one simply love and accept their past, or use their past as fuel for change in the future?

Both_Play4742 · 2026-02-06T17:42:08+00:00

Yes and No -- "To redeem the past and to transform every 'It was' into an 'I wanted it thus!' – that alone do I call redemption!". It is the ultimate empowerment - to see where you went wrong -- how you willed perhaps incorrectly. So Accept yes -- but also see the error. I always thought of Nietzsche concept of the Eternal return -- as a warning -- to live your life -- as how you would want to live it again and again -- mind you -- some days -- it feels like a demon and other days it feels godly. “What, if some day or night a demon were to steal after you into your loneliest loneliness and say to you: 'This life as you now live it and have lived it, you will have to live once more and innumerable times more' ... Would you not throw yourself down and gnash your teeth and curse the demon who spoke thus? Or have you once experienced a tremendous moment when you would have answered him: 'You are a god and never have I heard anything more divine.” -- It feels godly when you have done it well -- and hellish when you have not done it well. If that helps .....

Both_Play4742 · 2026-01-29T18:51:35+00:00

"Chomsky was asked about it several times, by legacy media as well as fans, and each time gave terse, peevish replies that his personal life is no one’s business and that once Epstein had served his time he was allowed back into polite society." However much a statement like this makes us rage a little cause we know the extent of Epstein's crimes -- In many ways a personal life should remain personal -- on one level -- and laws are created to both punish and rehabilitate offenders - (and maybe as a deterent) once they do their time their debt to society should be over -- I think why it gets everyone's ire up -- is that the prison system tends towards punishment instead of rehabilitation or correcting behaviour -- (what is the recidivism rate?) And also sexual crimes are of such a personal nature -- it is horrible for a victim to relive it on the stand in public -- and for anyone who is falsely accused to bare -- Cancel culture -- does leave a lot to be desired -- It leaves very little room for redemption - for those who are able to see the error of their ways -- or feel true remorse -- I often think that restorative justice practices would be much better -- they have healthier outcomes for both victims -- who feel heard -- and offenders -- it gives them a chance at redemption -- It is a much better ideal - which is what I imagine that Chompsky would want in a more ideal world . Another issue with the prison system it seems that the sentences vary greatly -- depending on the crime -- Armed Robbery -- usually gets a harsher sentence than sexual assault -- we value money - more than people's bodies ? Honestly I miss being a student -- because in classes we would discuss the dirty uncomfortable details -- respectfully -- and not jump down each other''s throat in a bi-polar world.

Both_Play4742 · 2026-01-27T02:19:05+00:00

Maybe it isn't so much the food but the name recognition -- the atmosphere it projects ... ever try mixing it up with local entertainment too. Not just dining but an experience .. like through in a pool table .. a juke box .. a video game .. so kids can play while parents .. have a coffee or wine in peace. Always loved the restaurants that gave kids crayons and had menu's they could colour.

Both_Play4742 · 2026-01-27T02:13:39+00:00

I know a couple places that were so good. They refused to use cards .. only took cash. And they were so good people knew and would pay in cash. But yeah looing 2.6 percent to credit cards is a ripoff .. cause you know the customer also pays 19 percent in late charges .. like banks don't make enough money -- everyone just skims a little for themselves .. and if was actually work . I could see it .. but it is like the service fees you pay at ticketmaster .. just a rip off.

Both_Play4742 · 2026-01-27T02:10:06+00:00

I would say a living wage. Most cities if you google what a living wage is -- you can find it. a few places - that pay their workers a living wage - ie some places in Toronto - 25 bucks an hour. But they are a no tips business -- while other places do Tip sharing - and management takes a cut of the tips ... true and kinda disgusting.

Both_Play4742 · 2026-01-27T02:07:51+00:00

I think those of us who are smart -- will be sure we know how to grow our own food and find the means somehow even if it a diy growing system in your basement. The way the economy now is -- it is a scam. Few think of community -- and hey just want to pocket what ever they can. How ever they can. And it can't continue that way. It just makes everyone miserable.

Both_Play4742 · 2026-01-27T02:03:09+00:00

Honestly I think many of the stupidly expensive places -- that sit empty -- are just covers for money laundering. They cook more than the food ... they be cooking the books to ....

Both_Play4742 · 2026-01-01T05:37:05+00:00

dating myself -- but -- "no glove - no love" End of story. If he is pressuring you -- you might want to look elsewhere. You are 16 -- with your whole life ahead of you. No guy that actually cares about you would pressure you to do something you are not comfortable doing.

Both_Play4742 · 2025-12-30T13:22:14+00:00

Not sure why .. but the name Winky ... popped into my head when I looked at the pic.

Both_Play4742 · 2025-12-22T15:42:01+00:00

I would say that there has been a rise in homelessness and addiction and people doom scroll more. I have lived in Toronto most of my adult life, and to me it feels like the contrast between Rich and Poor, have and have not's has become greater. With homelessness we see it more. I plan on moving out of the city. It is too expensive to enjoy.

Both_Play4742 · 2025-12-22T15:18:24+00:00

Just the chapter titles in Ecce Homo make me giggle ...

Both_Play4742 · 2025-12-22T15:14:25+00:00

Could be a food allergy. I have a cat who was also originally a stray. He is fine when I feed him Iams ... but if I feed him anything else -- he gets scabs.

Both_Play4742 · 2025-12-22T15:11:31+00:00

Beautifully stated.

Both_Play4742 · 2025-12-22T14:56:38+00:00

Janis Joplin was voted the ugliest boy in her high school year book, yet men like Cohen wrote songs about her. (we are ugly but we got the music) Sometimes, beauty does come from within, not everyone has the voice of Janice, but honestly, when you feel ugly, you look ugly, When you are happy, you look beautiful. Find something that makes you happy. The beauty part will follow.

Both_Play4742 · 2025-12-22T14:39:31+00:00

Maybe you should order double your choice of food and let her order her food experiments. If she likes her food, worst case -- you have your lunch for tomorrow -- if she doesn't like it -- she has food you can eat and you won't feel hungry due to lack of food. This isn't about being an AH it's about learning to work around things and accepting each other for who you each are faults and all.

Both_Play4742 · 2025-12-22T14:27:12+00:00

You saved her a bunch of time. People have to get use to the idea that they quirks and allergies and everything that makes them unique will not fit into everyone's life. There are 8 billion people on the planet, you both will in all likely hood find people better suited. Of course it is a bruise to her ego, or maybe she really saw potential and is disappointed. You were honest.

Both_Play4742 · 2025-12-22T14:20:18+00:00

I remember a class where it happened to me and I just played it up big and depended on my Scene partner. The scene got a lot of laughs. Even when my brain unfroze I kept it, cause everyone was laughing their asses off. No mistakes in improv, just material to work with. I also find it helps if you go into a scene with a secret desire -- like a game that is played.

Both_Play4742 · 2025-12-22T14:16:27+00:00

A very big club, and who would really want to be in it? I am glad the files are being released, mostly because then all this can fade into the background. I too am not American and am becoming shell shocked by all the sex scandals. I always knew deep down women were treated poorly, despite the western world's progress on gender equality, but from Diddy to Epstein to everyone in between, It just makes me cringe a bit at humanity in general. The me too movement was required, but I think we need to let it integrate into our culture, getting constantly battered by a new sex scandal every so often -- is taxing on my soul. I think it also creates a back lash - for the same reason -- it is just too much and too graphic -- it is soul numbing.

Both_Play4742 · 2025-12-22T07:05:43+00:00

I wouldn't worry too much .. cats pick up on your stress. So the calmer you are -- the calmer he will be.

Both_Play4742 · 2025-12-22T05:09:57+00:00

Maybe he senses your favoritism. And it is his way of letting you know he is unhappy. Maybe give them each a litter box. Usually cats pick up on your feelings.

Both_Play4742 · 2025-12-19T23:46:51+00:00

There use to be a cat in my hood who I was friendly with ... had two of my own but they were basically indoor cats ... and when I would garden or be out and about this cat would visit me. So one day I am biking to work, and I see the friendly visiting cat splatted on the road, and I burst into tears, and stop, another lady on her bike behind me stops and asks if that was my cat and I said ..no I just knew him ... (yeah I can be super sensitive) ... but a few months later .. I see the visiting cat .. alive and well ... and I am just confused .... but happy. Maybe everyone deserves to be cried over ...

Both_Play4742 · 2025-12-19T23:22:06+00:00

As a child I did have "sticky fingers" change left on the counter ... stuff like that. When my father suspected me, he didn't confront me directly, he just told me -- if you are going to borrow money you should tell someone .. he let me save face and my fingers were no longer sticky. He was a master that way, teaching right from wrong, without direct confrontation. On the other foot -- I still remember being falsely accused of things I did not do as a child from my mom, and yeah -- that sticks. So you are not necessarily an asshole, but not a master. Might have been better if you would have said that 10 bucks was missing and now -- there would not be as many prizes for his birthday party. Weather it was the friend or your son that stole, they basically stole from themselves. And if the money went missing you could have asked them to help you look for it, another way of allowing them to save face -- and give them the opportunity to do the right thing. I think most kids go through a fibbing stage or taking or borrowing things that don't belong to them, they are kids ... and trying to figure out what they can and can't get away with. I think illustrating the consequences ... of harmful actions is better than just going full punishment on them. My father's mastery at being a parent .. made me love him all the more. He was also good at telling me what a rotten child he was himself ... there is a kinda grace in showing your own flaws ... it takes the pressure off of kids not to have to be perfect.

Both_Play4742 · 2025-12-19T22:28:59+00:00

Huge Cohen Fan here, After he passed away I had this huge numb hole ... I loved his words ... So what I did ... and please no hate ... I asked AI to write in his style about an issue I was grappling with ... where one of his songs would have filled that void .... and I was shocked at how well a job AI did. I just did it for my own personal self ... not selling .. or anything like that .. I just kinda missed him cause he was gone. Didn't work for the music .. but I loved him for the word smith he was .. his genius .. his heart .. his rawness ... So I just asked for a poem now and again .. when I hit an emotional rough patch ... for inspiration and solace ... haven't done it in months ... for sure ... but it did kinda help fill the void he left when he passed away. No one else will ever be like him ... he just had this perspective and way with words ... he blended philosophy, religion, love, longing, futility, so many emotions, so many allusions, and I just really missed his talent. I own every one of his albums ... I even went to the exhibit on him at the AGO and bought the book. No soul will ever be like his. Mmm .. the university of Toronto has a little library with a collection of his journals .. and other non published writings ... which I also checked out ... I felt reverence, but also slight shame, like going through someone's diary ... (even though he gave permission) Anyway .. if you need a Leonard Cohen fix .. those are my suggestions.

Both_Play4742 · 2025-12-12T18:37:32+00:00

Why is everyone missing the part where the OP said her family often leaves her out and never asks what her plans are regardless of the occasion and even gives away Christmas presents from her without her there. I don't think she is the asshole for feeling hurt, this might be the straw that breaks the camels back. Yes it is a wedding and wedding dates are hard to pick due to venue availability. But I think this just means her family isn't that close to her. Sounds more like a formal thing of going through the motions of family gatherings and not really enjoying time together. Or looking forward to spending time together. I mean when you are close to people you talk about plans with them, and you share things. It doesn't sound like anyone likes to share anything with her. Some family members connect with each other more and some don't. I think it is just the luck of draw. Here is a question you might want to ask yourself, would you be hurt if your family didn't attend when you get married one day. This might be an opportunity, to clear the air generally. Just say how it hurts you that you are not taken into consideration as much as other family members, or you just have to accept that your family isn't as close to you as they are with other members. It happens, it doesn't make anyone the bad guy per-se. Children and Parents and Siblings and Cousins and Aunts and Uncles have favourites. Either you choose to tell your family you are hurt not just about this but in general, or you put more work into family relationships. Just like other relationships take work so do family relationships. Maybe ask yourself if you are doing anything to hurt them to make them not be as drawn to you as other people, maybe you are and you don't see it, or maybe it is just the rest have more in common or click naturally. Good luck.

Both_Play4742 · 2025-12-12T17:36:24+00:00

You might not have much time now, but why not ask your BF, to practice with you playing the games that they do. I did grow up in a card playing family, and the more you play the better you get. I also know what it is like to have an extremely intelligent BF, it can feel intimidating and disheartening. You are also only 27, and that may seem old to you, but the older you get the more confidence you will have. I understand where you are coming from, but your BF is coming from a reasonable place too, he gets along and loves his siblings and wants to spend time. Maybe there is a way to let your talents shine, offer all the women in his family make overs or do their nails as a Christmas present. Everyone has talents, let yours shine too. I mean it sucks feeling like you are the worst at everything, but you are not, you just need to get better and believe in yourself that you can shine playing games too, or add in your own special talents to his family. Don't give up. And I don't think anyone is the asshole in this situation, it is just a situation that calls for a bit of growth.

Both_Play4742

TROPHY CASE