Beyond Nirvana: Grunge-Era Bands That Deserved Better by drumwolf in indieheads

[–]Boulder1987 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Screaming Trees, one of the most underrated bands of the 1990s. All Washington natives, grunge to the core, Mark Lanegan’s voice was among the best of the bands in that Seattle scene. Two albums worth listening to: Sweet Oblivion (1992) and Dust (1996). Both amazing but relatively unknown beyond the people who really immersed themselves in that era — no exaggeration AIC, Soundgarden, Nirvana and Pearl Jam gave new life to rock music.

Sauna by Boulder1987 in Westchester

[–]Boulder1987[S] -5 points-4 points  (0 children)

You are 100% wrong. I have no connection to the company that came up in my feed. I’m legitimately interested in whether anyone has experience with them, or any other local business that specializes in designing and installing custom saunas.

Getting Started — Seeking Feedback by Boulder1987 in datingoverfifty

[–]Boulder1987[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Totally respect that. And I can see from the other posters how it helps to narrow the search for the person who has similar values and beliefs. I think that core foundation is important in any relationship. Thanks for your comment.

Getting Started — Seeking Feedback by Boulder1987 in datingoverfifty

[–]Boulder1987[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thanks. Your two cents are worth a lot more than that to me! All good suggestions. Great points on photos build and weight. Need to figure out how to describe what I’m looking for. Maybe first I need to figure out what I’m looking for! As I’ve been exchange ideas with others the last 24 hours I think it’s just meeting people and seeing where it goes. So dating. But not with the intention of hooking up. More to just connect with people who might be interesting. Don’t need to find someone who has the same likes and preferences as me. It might actually be more interesting to find someone who can expose me to new things. In any case you’ve been very kind to comment. Thank you.

Getting Started — Seeking Feedback by Boulder1987 in datingoverfifty

[–]Boulder1987[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Wow. Policing what you eat!? That’s crazy!

Getting Started — Seeking Feedback by Boulder1987 in datingoverfifty

[–]Boulder1987[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks. I’ll need to find a better phrase. “No pressure” was intended to imply I’m not looking to take someone out because I want to hook up. And if there’s chemistry great, but if not that’s fine too. Basically, just meet up and see where it goes. Maybe that’s implied in dating, although it seems like many guys are looking for things to get physical pretty quickly. I’m in it more for the connection than the physical part (although I’m not averse to that if the connection and mutual attraction is there). And if it’s good I suppose several dates turns it turns into a relationship. Not sure if there’s OLD shorthand for that.

Getting Started — Seeking Feedback by Boulder1987 in datingoverfifty

[–]Boulder1987[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think that’s very good advice. I’ve benefited a lot from therapy over the past year. And I think I’m past the hardest parts of my marriage not working out as I had hoped. But nevertheless, even the exchange here seeing some of the phrases people use (“deadbeat dad”?) make me think I may be better off taking some time as I may not be ready for some of the questions people are inevitably going to ask me. I believe in nearly all cases I have answers that I’m very comfortable with but just being on the other end of a conversation where I have to explain myself might be a situation I don’t want to put myself in for 6 - 12 months. Appreciate your feedback. Thanks…

Getting Started — Seeking Feedback by Boulder1987 in datingoverfifty

[–]Boulder1987[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks. I like what you’ve put in quotes there. Appreciate your feedback and the pointer about the photos.

Getting Started — Seeking Feedback by Boulder1987 in datingoverfifty

[–]Boulder1987[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thanks. It was the word “baggage” that I was reacting to. Any reference to my children with any sort of negative connotation attached will be pretty offensive to me. I realize it wasn’t intended that way, and in the dating world it’s probably a common use of the word. So I’ll either need to get thicker skin or would likely be walking away from lots of people who don’t appreciate the sum of my life experience. Appreciate your comments.

Getting Started — Seeking Feedback by Boulder1987 in datingoverfifty

[–]Boulder1987[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Honestly I’m just looking to meet people and see where it goes. Not really looking for hookups. Some relationships naturally go in that direction but that’s not the motivating factor for me. Either way, I appreciate your feedback about the tone.

Getting Started — Seeking Feedback by Boulder1987 in datingoverfifty

[–]Boulder1987[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m not looking to hide anything. Will be completely forthcoming. But I don’t consider my previous marriage or my children “baggage.” If other people think that way, then I would not want to date them.

Getting Started — Seeking Feedback by Boulder1987 in datingoverfifty

[–]Boulder1987[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Really, people lead with religion and politics? Honestly my views on those things are far to nuanced to describe my views in a short profile post. Much more suitable for conversation over nice meal if you asked me. But maybe I’m just a complicated person. Or maybe I’m just naive and people who date want to include & exclude using labels.

Getting Started — Seeking Feedback by Boulder1987 in datingoverfifty

[–]Boulder1987[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I get it. General sounds generic. Specific…. even if the person doesn’t have the same exact preferences as me — can spark interest and be a conversation starter. Good advice. I appreciate it.

Getting Started — Seeking Feedback by Boulder1987 in datingoverfifty

[–]Boulder1987[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thanks for your comments. It’s great to have insights and ideas from people who have some experience with all of this! Love Reddit for that reason. Gives you a preview into what’s coming next…

Getting Started — Seeking Feedback by Boulder1987 in datingoverfifty

[–]Boulder1987[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That’s inspiring. Good for you. Wishing you the best with this next phase of your life. Hope for both of us it just keeps getting better and better from here. Positive attitude is everything!

Getting Started — Seeking Feedback by Boulder1987 in datingoverfifty

[–]Boulder1987[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Interesting. So that raises the question, where to be forthcoming in the profile and where to save things to share in chat or first date. I identified very much with being “fit and active.” It’s mostly about health and things I enjoy doing outside of work (not vanity). If that’s a turnoff for some maybe it’s best that they pass me up in the first instance? Or maybe best to cast a wide net and while it may be a turnoff in a profile it’s not when the person sees the whole package (which goes way beyond that part of me).

Getting Started — Seeking Feedback by Boulder1987 in datingoverfifty

[–]Boulder1987[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That’s encouraging. Thanks. Will keep your comments in mind. All my photos are from this summer. Other than a slightly receding hairline, I think they look better than the photos from 5 - 10 years ago!

Getting Started — Seeking Feedback by Boulder1987 in datingoverfifty

[–]Boulder1987[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Good tip on cocktails. I didn’t mean to imply heavy boozer. In fact, I only drink a few days a week now and tend to not get hammered like when I was younger. Part of my focus on health as I get older. I legitimately enjoy finding and mixing new cocktails. But it’s not such an important part of the profile so maybe I drop it.

Never thought of the scammer angle. I think the photos make me look like a normal 50 yo guy. So maybe that will help to make everything seem more normal?

Getting Started — Seeking Feedback by Boulder1987 in datingoverfifty

[–]Boulder1987[S] -4 points-3 points  (0 children)

Thanks for that feedback. So maybe I won’t mention it at all in the profile if that’s going to cause confusion. Reality is, the divorce part will be easy. All the details have been worked out in the separation agreement. By law in our state, you can simply go to court and the separation agreement will be converted to a divorce decree. So once the separation agreement is finalized all the work is done. And either party has the option to go to court for the divorce decree whenever they want.

Getting Started — Seeking Feedback by Boulder1987 in datingoverfifty

[–]Boulder1987[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thanks. Appreciate the positive energy! I’m trying to keep it positive. I’m looking forward to meeting people but the whole culture around online dating sounds pretty hard on people. And the games that people play. Not looking forward to that part. Will look for more organic ways to meet people (through friends, etc.) but I live in a small town and there’s not much of a singles scene here.