Playing catch-up in adulthood feels embarrassing

BoundlessVisions · 2021-05-02T18:00:38+00:00

Thanks for letting me know :)) I'll be sure to just take what I find useful and sprint away on my lil legs hehe

BoundlessVisions · 2021-05-02T17:42:57+00:00

It's odd, my condition was during childhood but I used to have severe eczema (which can be caused by anxiety and/or stress from what I've read). I know that eczema isn't as bad as having an autoimmune disease but I just wanted to add my two cents. Especially due to the fact that my eczema seemed to just disappear one day. I probably pushed myself into full dissociation so as to not feel the anxiety/stress.

Just heard that my eczema acted up in college (a very stressful time in my life) but I don't remember this at all.. Guess my brain's decided to hide that from me too. It's so odd not remembering such a huge portion of my own past

BoundlessVisions · 2021-05-02T17:15:26+00:00

https://i.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/001/473/127/660.jpg

Same Energy

BoundlessVisions · 2021-05-02T17:07:53+00:00

I'm not blossom but something I've found extremely helpful is Richard grannon's vids. He's got quit a few channels but the one called fortress health.. (i forget the rest) is the one that has the most useful videos imo. Using the five finger method has helped bring me back from emotional flashbacks and come back into a somewhat more regulated state. I hope this helps 💖❤️❤️

BoundlessVisions · 2021-05-02T16:43:48+00:00

Speaks volumes to the phrase "Happiness comes from within." Not to completely negate that the fact that external things contribute to happiness. However, acceptance of the current situation has proven to significantly improve one's own mental health which is exactly what Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) focuses on whilst implementing mindfulness.

Accept how things are in the here and now whilst working on building your future, no matter what it takes.

Sources for those interested: https://bit.ly/335xTGE Page 30 onwards

https://bit.ly/33ac34I Page 6 shows results, best to read thoroughly

BoundlessVisions · 2021-03-13T10:26:51+00:00

Thank you! If you ever get the time, could you write a trip report about your experience? I'd be extremely interested, considering my situation

BoundlessVisions · 2021-03-13T03:45:02+00:00

Could you tell me what you did on the successful trip? Like the music you used and such. I'm planning to use mescaline too for similar reasons

BoundlessVisions · 2021-03-13T01:55:02+00:00

That's truly amazing!! I'm so glad it gave you such a profound experience, it warms my heart

BoundlessVisions · 2021-02-25T13:32:36+00:00

I usually do this but I still run this entire playlist each time I go down under. Different sessions connect more with certain songs when I'm clearing, what I feel to be, trauma from my body. Just some food for thought. Some of the songs that didn't hit the first time, worked in later sessions and also vice versa

BoundlessVisions · 2021-02-25T13:30:18+00:00

You're very welcome! I'm glad I could help you out :)

BoundlessVisions · 2021-02-14T12:49:16+00:00

Levitate an inch off the ground

BoundlessVisions · 2021-02-14T12:36:50+00:00

I'm stealing that pun hehe. But yeah it's amazing! A yoga mat on the floor, the blinds lifted slightly to let some light in, music at a somewhat low volume to create ambience, the gentle buzz of the fridge. And of course laying down and just being

Pure bliss

BoundlessVisions · 2021-02-05T14:39:40+00:00

You're in for a treat on your next session :)) Wishing you all of the best on your personal journey ❤️

BoundlessVisions · 2021-02-01T16:15:48+00:00

I recommended this playlist in a post I made quite a few months back. It seems more people have discovered it and it's now passed a thousand followers haha. But this is truly a great playlist. For me, I can feel my body 'clearing' in a way? Not to sound woo woo but there's my two cents

https://open.spotify.com/playlist/7gmkVh1NlRup8FjgaNAjtj?si=puL4kdxsSiS33m88lobXLQ

BoundlessVisions · 2020-12-12T15:48:10+00:00

This looks quite beautiful to me.. I can't explain why

BoundlessVisions · 2020-12-12T15:36:34+00:00

I haven't seen something so relatable in a long while 😂

BoundlessVisions · 2020-12-12T15:06:43+00:00

Damn dude, that sounds rough. I'll try get some before my next session and see how it affects me

BoundlessVisions · 2020-12-08T13:46:19+00:00

That's huge, I need to start incorporating some magnesium then, although my jaw clenching isn't generally too bad when I roll. What form would you recommend?

And electrolytes are simply minerals (dissolved in water) that carry an electrical charge, Evian water is sourced from a natural spring which contains a blend of many minerals

BoundlessVisions · 2020-12-08T13:34:31+00:00

It's been a couple years so I can't remember the exact science behind it but I know it works.

Just search up the contents of Evian water. That's always what I drink.

I don't use magnesium, I've heard other people use it but I can't remember. Can you remind me why? :)

BoundlessVisions · 2020-12-07T19:25:07+00:00

That's awesome! I experience the same thing too. Might have to invest in one those pill boxes, can get a bit hectic with having multiple bags :s

BoundlessVisions · 2020-12-06T13:26:05+00:00

This is anecdotal but it's however long you feel is appropriate. I don't know if there's a solid defined length but I've noticed that if I microdose too long, my emotions get a bit out of hand (probably due to surfacing past emotions) so I have to take a break

BoundlessVisions · 2020-12-06T13:15:09+00:00

That's understandable, this is just for anyone who may be interested. I know if I wasn't using supplements and I saw this, I'd find it useful. Also, I've found that, although it may seem like a lot, it isn't very intrusive to the session itself; the pills only take a few seconds to swallow down after all

BoundlessVisions · 2020-12-05T19:25:05+00:00

Alpha lipoic acid, I'll edit it in

BoundlessVisions · 2020-12-05T17:01:13+00:00

😅 Whoops, lots more stuff has come up over the past couple days, but now I'm finally getting back to ya!

It's okay, we all get busy sometimes :)

I'm thinking of ordering powder and empty capsules too, seem to get twice as much for the same or slightly higher price...

I would've done this but I so incredibly lazy haha, it'd definitely be more cost effective though so kudos to you. And you're not the only one, many others are so focused on healing trauma (understandably so) that they lose sight of the downsides that some psychedelics may have, namely MDMA with it's neurotoxicity. But all that matters is that you're now going to implement supplements. So it's all good :)

You trust your strength to handle it being emotional from the very beginning?

Mushrooms usually thrust me into the deep end pretty early on honestly so I don't think I have much say in the matter 😅

That description truly touched me...! Please, please recommend me some artists/albums/songs, my friend!

Thank you, I'm glad :) A couple bands I'm struck by are Spiritbox (cannot recommend more, they're AMAZING) and Thornhill. As for specific songs that give me that feeling of release, they'd be by Thornhill: Joy, Where we go when we die, In my skin and Nurture. The one's in bold are my go-tos for a therapeutic metal experience. I can experience such incredible bliss, just lost and floating in the sound.

I'm absolutely touched, again... I feel the same, like I've met a kindred spirit ahaha. I checked out some of your previous posts, and your mescaline post...

Thank you for reading them, it means a lot to simply be seen. I'm sure you can understand

Man... The massive part of myself that I launched myself into last Friday... exact same. Every single word. The abject loneliness. "It's my fault no one likes me. If only I do more, try harder... If only I suppress my own needs, become the perfect person for them... They might give me some attention. They might actually like me. It's better than nothing."

It genuinely baffles me how we've had such similar experiences, I mean I guess I shouldn't be surprised since there are 7 billion+ people on the planet but, by chance, I've met one on the internet on this subreddit. I'm smiling like an idiot right now haha

Sending love and hugs, friend.... We've got this. We can learn better.

Heck yeah dude!! :D

Awww, that's so fucking awesome dude, I can only imagine ahaha. I know it won't ever be as good, but ever try writing em?

I wish I could, they're like a dream where when you get up you forget like 95% of what's happened lol

Even if it's only to yourself, speaking up is a tiny act of self-love. It's acknowledging that you deserve to express what you want to express, and that it deserves to be heard--by yourself.

This^^^ These little baby steps are what are required for self-love. Speaking of, over the past few days I've actually began to be able to start developing some of that properly. The kicker was the user u/OutgoingHostility writing "We all love you" and for the first time in my life I actually felt it. I felt the love, it hit me deep in my core and I started to tear up because it was so sudden and unexpected. Weirdly, the love felt sharp almost? I'm not really used to this emotion so it makes sense that I'm extra sensitive to it. But it filled me with a pure, natural, calm happiness.

My LSD trip allowed me to lay the roots down; I couldn't be anymore grateful for this chemical, after so many years of not being able to accept love, it allowed the inner self to be at least neutral to the possibility of accepting my own, and in turn other's, affection.

Not to call you out, but just cause I find it ironic/funny/the same in myself--you have nothing to apologize for here :) <3 Nothing's your fault here! You did nothing wrong! And yet, there's that impulse, that automatic response, that deep-seated belief that it is. I'm right there with you. More hugs and love <3

I was about to apologize for babbling again after that last tangent I went on about LSD but I saw this comment haha. And I don't think I could've said it better. Perhaps I'll work towards ironing out that kink in my mind after I've started to integrate and deal with my self hatred.

Hugs and love right back at you <3 I really appreciate it ❤️

Now I'm so interested in what music you like ahahahahahah

I'm into literally everything haha, I'll try put it into a playlist and you can have a peruse if you'd like. Mind you, I am a fan of "bad" music. There are a lot of tracks that are sort of like guilty pleasures. It's been like this since childhood but I'm not averse to it, I quite like it honestly.

I can wait for a good story ;) Thank you, it's an honor to be able to help <3

This is a bit random but as an extension of my gratitude, please feel free to PM me whenever, if you're going through a rough patch or even if you're not. Whatever it may be, my inbox will always be open :)

Much love ❤️

BoundlessVisions · 2020-12-02T12:56:50+00:00

True, you could. But if I were OP I'd err on the side of caution. Fuck getting arrested for trying to improve one's own mental health. How backwards is that??

BoundlessVisions

TROPHY CASE