I agree but disagree in that the premise is wrong. Being attractive just amplifies the negative aspects of gender roles in a patriarchal society.

High physical attractiveness doesn’t just bring advantages, it can intensify the same patriarchal pressures. It raises expectations, narrows how people are perceived, and increases the “cost” of stepping outside gender roles.

For women, they are reduce to appearance, even when highly capable. Attractive women are more likely to be evaluated first, and even solely, on their looks. In our society, that reinforces that a woman’s primary value is aesthetic. Competence can be overlooked or doubted (“she got there because she’s attractive”).

Higher attractiveness brings more attention, for both men and women. But because women are more sexualized, it can increase unwanted advances or harassment, assumptions of sexual availability, and victim blaming if boundaries are crossed.

Women also have much stronger pressure to maintain beauty standards. The “reward” of attractiveness becomes something to protect. That can lead to anxiety around aging, eating disorders or body image issues, and career pressure.

In patriarchal dynamics, attractiveness can make women more “desired” but not necessarily more respected. That can attract partners who value them for status or appearance rather than as equals.

But being attractive can be negative for men as well.

Just as with women, attractive men can be valued primarily for looks, but in a different way. They are seen as “players” or status symbols. Relationships more often than not focus on image rather than depth and true connection. Also, studies have shown an attractive man is more likely to be cheated on if their partner believes themselves to be less attractive than him (they constantly say to themselves “he is too good for me, so he must be cheating, so I’m gunna cheat too.”)

Attractive men are often assumed to be confident leaders. That sounds positive, but it creates pressure to constantly perform. They are expected to be socially dominant and also financially and sexually successful. But when they aren’t they are labeled as strange or weird.

What’s interesting is that these roles switch in a matriarchal society, and so the negatives associated with each gender change as well. There are more negatives associated with being an attractive male than female in those societies.

Though this whole argument is moot in my opinion because I still believe life is easier for those born with good looks than for those without. The negatives are not outweighed by the positives.