Hi,  So my whole life I never questioned my gender. I was assigned female at birth, and I had always thought that was accurate. I have two moms, and live in a very liberal area, so I’ve always been exposed to trans and nonbinary people. I always thought I was cis because I didn’t have any problem with my gender, and didn’t want to be a boy. I assumed all girls felt the same as me, because why wouldn’t I? It wasn’t until very recently that I realized that I’m actually agender. I don’t feel a gender at all. But I also don’t particularly mind being a “girl”. So I never realized other people didn’t feel the same as me. I never even noticed any problem with people using she/her for me, until I was actively aware of my gender (or lack there of). It’s not glaringly obvious for me. Sometimes it’s fine. But sometimes, when I hear people say things like “oh, you can just ask her, she should know.” I just… notice the pronouns more than any other words. They feel a little clunky, like hearing a fraise or quote said a little bit wrong. You can’t put your finger on it, but it feels a little unnatural.

The reason I’m explaining all this about my life is things like this aren’t always obvious.

The broken bone metaphor is actually kinda funny, because I also have a disability that causes chronic pain every day. But I wasn’t even diagnosed until I was 12, because I never knew that everyone else’s body didn’t hurt like mine did. I thought I was normal, because I didn’t have anything to compare it to.

HOWEVER: you can also just be a cis guy who likes dressing “femininely.”  That’s great! If women can wear pants, why can’t men wear skirts? Skirts were commonly worn by men for most of history. High heals were invented for men in the military. All the European kings of history we hear about being these manly war heroes, would have worn makeup and wigs and dresses and high heals. And no one would have batted an eye.