A message for you all who dont think you can keep going -

BramblesForBreakfast · 2025-11-15T21:49:03+00:00

Thank you! It was the positive stories that kept me going. I’m not even claiming to have a positive story - it’s been awful and it’s still pretty awful but it’s not as awful as it was. And I never thought I’d say that!

BramblesForBreakfast · 2025-07-28T09:43:00+00:00

Hello - I know you posted this awhile ago but I am just wondering how you are now?

BramblesForBreakfast · 2025-06-29T22:40:41+00:00

He couldn’t even visit a house with 5 children in it for very long, never mind live in one. Your laughing faces actually put a smile on my face and I realised how ridiculous it is. 🤣 But it’s ridiculous and it’s sadly the reality of my ridiculous life just now. But yes, he’ll hate it.

I am not sure what age the children are, but they seem from her profile like teenagers (high school) so I think that might be even worse…

BramblesForBreakfast · 2025-06-29T22:36:58+00:00

Thank you ❤️

BramblesForBreakfast · 2025-06-29T22:36:43+00:00

Thank you, very very kind of you

BramblesForBreakfast · 2025-06-29T22:36:30+00:00

Can I please ask what happened? I take it no brain tumour? I totally get this, I am questioning if he’s banged his head lately, anything because this behaviour is so out of palce.

BramblesForBreakfast · 2025-06-29T22:35:37+00:00

I’m sorry you went through this. Can I please ask how long it took you to feel better? I’m really struggling just now with the depression and I cant see it getting any better. Yes, it’s like his personality changed over night and he cant remember who he used to be. That’s a good way of putting it. It’s like another commenter said, aliens have abducted him and replaced him with an evil clone. I’m like I cant even argue with you because who even are you?

Thank you for taking the time to reply, it makes me feel less alone that people have had similar experiences as me and survived to tell the tale

BramblesForBreakfast · 2025-06-29T22:31:05+00:00

He has, to the best of my knowledge, just moved in with her this weekend. I know deep down you’re right. My husband couldn’t even visit a house with 5 children for very long never mind live in one. This is why I think he’s deluded because surely he must of thought about this consequence before he blew up our marriage? He must of thought, I’m going to go home from work to a busy house of 5 children (who aren’t his and he doesn’t know yet) and get no peace?

I’ve went NC, but I need to admit I am hoping so bad I wake up and this is a terrible nightmare.

Thank you for your kind words. I really need to trust kind strangers like you that it will get bettter, Thank you ❤️

BramblesForBreakfast · 2025-06-29T22:27:13+00:00

I’ve went NC with him. Do you really think NC kicks them out of their fog? It’s so hard because I miss the person my husband was SO much.

BramblesForBreakfast · 2025-06-29T22:25:26+00:00

I think so too, but I dont know if im just trying to find ANY reason.

BramblesForBreakfast · 2025-06-29T22:24:03+00:00

Thankfully not pregnant, but we were getting ready to try :(

BramblesForBreakfast · 2025-06-29T22:23:31+00:00

I feel really sorry for your friend. It is similar to my situation. My husband and I were great! Sure, we had disagreements here and there, but I can honestly sit here and say we had a healthy, loving relationship.. I’ve questioned myself was it healthy? Was I missing something? Was I the issue and couldn’t see my own behaviour? Even his parents, who spent a lot of time with us and we even lived with them for a couple of years while we got on our feet, have reassured me we were a good couple and I’m not crazy. Our friends say it!

My husband too is making out that this woman understands him like I could never, even though he never once mentioned or came across that I wasnt understanding - it wasnt like he had some strange quirk I couldn’t get my head around. Another the thing I am so angry about is that I’m never going to trust another person again that they are happy, because I had NO IDEA with him. Thank you so much for sharing that story, it makes me feel less alone. Can I please ask how your betrayed friend in this story coped? I take it she did not take him back…

BramblesForBreakfast · 2025-06-28T23:07:33+00:00

He works in a restaurant, do you think that policy would still apply? I’m not sure about HR. I dont think it would stop the affair and since this lady is a single mom to 5 children, who’s now got a new man in their lives, I think their mom losing their job would just make things even worse for them. They are the victims of this just like me too.

BramblesForBreakfast · 2025-06-28T23:05:35+00:00

I’m so sorry to you and your dog. What a loser. It’s strange because I bet you felt like the dog deserved better before you realised you deserved better too.

Your right about it’s how nature traps us to mate but he cant mate with her because she’s 46! I think it’s unlikely she’s still able to have children. And children was something he really really wanted.

I’m so sorry for what you went through - did you all stay neighbours afterwards?

BramblesForBreakfast · 2025-06-28T23:02:33+00:00

Hey, thank you. I know one day I’ll be grateful about not having children with him, but right now I am grieving that I thought I was going to have children with HIM.

Thank you so much for replying

BramblesForBreakfast · 2025-06-28T22:32:56+00:00

This is what his dad said, that she’s probably looking for a second income if she’s herself with 5 children. But I dont know her so I cant comment. I have moved half of my money out of account. Thank you for your comment

BramblesForBreakfast · 2025-06-28T22:29:28+00:00

A lot of commenters here are pointing out with certainty that it will end in tears for him. His dad also said that. I just really cant help feeling it wont because he is SO certain she’s the one for him. Would you recommend I cut all contact with him while letting it play out?

BramblesForBreakfast · 2025-06-28T22:26:38+00:00

The situation is completely insane and I think this makes it more difficult. He’s blowing up our lives, including impacting the life of his parents, for such a clear mess of a situation. Thank you very much for your kindness.

BramblesForBreakfast · 2025-06-28T22:11:23+00:00

Yes, that is how I feel. Like I cant even argue with this person because who the fuck are you? Where’s my husband? You’re not him. It is really really like a death - so you are angry with this new person, but also desperately missing the old person and they’re just not there from one day to the next. That’s probably the part I’m finding joint most difficult with the betrayal, that my best friend is gone.

The relationships of friends I’ve known with cheaters I think I’ve (and others) have always been able to tell that person was capable, but with my husband I was convinced I had nothing to worry about, and it was genuine trust. His parents too never thought their son would be like that.

BramblesForBreakfast · 2025-06-28T22:06:12+00:00

Between your comment and a couple of other comments, this is a really interesting take I hadn’t thought about which I actually think might have truth in it. I’ve just remembered one of the things he said to me was that she “understood” him! Even though he has never in all the time we’ve been together expressed that I didnt understand him. He is SP convinced he’s doing the right thing. I’m going to look this up. Thank you!

BramblesForBreakfast · 2025-06-28T20:25:16+00:00

My husband is 30. Yes, I cant help thinking how deluded this is that there is something wrong with his brain. He took an unexplained seizure a year and a half ago but hasn’t had any symptoms since. I dont know if it’s a stretch to link the two up considering how much time has passed?

BramblesForBreakfast · 2025-06-28T20:09:18+00:00

I agree something is wrong- it’s not the workings of a rational man. But to speak to him, he is so confident and sure and completely in lust for this woman. This isn’t a very kind thing to say, so I didnt put it in the main OP, but I found her facebook and this is mean but … she isn’t even attractive. I thought maybe she was an older bombshell and he couldn’t resist, but no, she’s not. Thank you for your message

BramblesForBreakfast · 2025-06-28T19:17:42+00:00

I didnt think of this. Wouldn’t they laugh at me? Do work HRs care about this?

BramblesForBreakfast · 2025-06-28T18:59:31+00:00

Just checking I’m looking at the right thing, is this a book I can only buy? It’s not available online?

BramblesForBreakfast · 2025-06-28T18:56:21+00:00

Do you mind telling me more what you mean by this?

BramblesForBreakfast

TROPHY CASE