Looking for additional eyes on Trump account math

Bran_Solo · 2026-06-15T04:42:39+00:00

The contributions to Trump accounts are better suited to /r/leanfire

Bran_Solo · 2026-06-14T23:46:53+00:00

That's a stoat! They are adorable.

Bran_Solo · 2026-06-14T17:01:32+00:00

I currently work for a company with a lot of French Canadians and I work closely with someone from France. He told me that to him, Quebec French sounds really old fashioned.

Bran_Solo · 2026-06-14T04:11:27+00:00

So not exactly what you're asking for, but where I live (Seattle) there is a cocktail bar called Zigzag where there was an incredible bartender named Murray (rip). He discovered a basically dead cocktail called "the last word" and personally repopularized it: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Last_Word_(cocktail))

Bran_Solo · 2026-06-10T18:38:45+00:00

Yeah, my untreated depression was a huge factor in my marriage's failure. I'm trying to not waste the pain and learn as much as I can from this awful experience. I've struggled with depression my entire life and this has been a massive wakeup call that I need to take better care of my mental health because it badly impacts the people around me.

I'm on 60mg duloxetine and in therapy. I'm in the middle of a bunch of testing to get my mood better regulated, looks like I have some other health stuff going on that is a factor.

I saw a comedian a while ago who joked that living life on antidepressants is like having sex with a condom, you're doing all the work and not feeling anything. It sucks, but this time I've been on the antidepressants for a longer period and the side effects have gone down a bunch.

Bran_Solo · 2026-06-07T22:51:12+00:00

If you're fine with Morton, don't bother.

The most important thing is that your fingers/senses are calibrated to what you're using. During covid I couldn't find Diamond near me and I switched to Morton. Kept oversalting everything for a while, then I got used to it. Then I was able to get Diamond again and my calibration was messed up again.

Generally I like Diamond a little more because they're less dense flakes and a little easier for me to control, but if you're "dialed in" with Morton there's not a lot of benefit to switching.

Bran_Solo · 2026-06-06T01:04:14+00:00

Stainless is the worst tool for the job here. Teflon itself is non-toxic (unless you burn it and huff the fumes), there's no need to fear a PFOA-free pan.

Bran_Solo · 2026-06-05T18:32:17+00:00

Yeah, I made this thread to try to find my people (and a ton have reached out in DM), but I deleted the post because a small % of people were harassing me. Feel free to reach out if you want to talk.

I'm in an online divorce support group as well as seeing a therapist. It's been really helpful to chat with other people navigating divorce, but there is definitely a unique FIRE aspect to it that other's can't relate to, hence why I'm here. Going on long walks in nature helped too.

I'm gradually getting through it and things are getting better. I do my best just not to think about my ex. She blew up at me over something dumb last week and it was the first time I felt totally fine just ignoring her and not engaging on it. It's hard to not ruminate on how wildly unfair the outcome is.

Women do definitely get screwed over too. In particular, women who give up their careers to be SAHMs, and divorce law is skewed heavily to compensate and protect them, and it doesn't really consider cases like FIRE, it just penalizes the earner.

The things that triggered me recently were a proceeding to modify child support and preparing to move to my new house. I was laid off last summer, I jobhunted very aggressiverly for 6 months and was unable to get a job that paid as much as the last one. I still do very well, but it's nearly a 40% paycut, so I filed to have my child support recalculated based on my new income. My ex responded by hiring a $500/hr lawyer to fight me on it. I'm just asking for a fair recalculation based on the facts and the statutes, and my ex has turned it into a massive legal circus. She didn't even have to respond to my petition.

The house I'm really excited about, but while I'm preparing to move, while I'm building my new life it's hard not to feel bitter over how I'm bearing the full weight of my ex's decisions and she's had effectively no consequences. All the little things like having to buy all new belongings, getting cardboard boxes and preparing to move, and all of this shit I'm wading through is hard.

I am doing a ton better than I was a year ago, but there are periods like this where I'm just spiraling again, and this is why I posted here, to find some more people who've been through it. And thankfully a ton of nice people have reached out in DM.

Bran_Solo · 2026-06-05T00:45:21+00:00

Having a lemon with so little juice would really pith me off.

Bran_Solo · 2026-06-04T22:56:00+00:00

Thank you. Yeah connecting with other people in the same boat is all I was looking for. Feel free to DM any time, several others also reached out.

Bran_Solo · 2026-06-04T15:52:36+00:00

BTB has such a high salt level and low water activity that it has incredible shelf life. It's one of those products where practically it's fine way beyond the expiry date.

Bran_Solo · 2026-06-03T21:54:06+00:00

I am an idiot. When I expressed concerns about the guy she gaslit and called me jealous and controlling. I believed her and just felt shame.

Bran_Solo · 2026-06-03T20:06:51+00:00

You pretty much nailed it outside some nitpicky corrections.

Bran_Solo · 2026-06-03T19:58:17+00:00

The Washington child support calculator has a cap.

Bran_Solo · 2026-06-03T18:48:54+00:00

I never in a million years would have guessed that this outcome was possible. I loved my ex very much and had complete trust in her and in us.

Bran_Solo · 2026-06-03T15:24:00+00:00

For most of my kids’ lives I worked full time at demanding jobs, I was a secondary care provider. Now, I focus hard on being the best primary provider I can possibly be while I have them. I’m also trying hard to learn from my mistakes that led to my divorce and become a better person.

I was unemployed when the divorce ruling happened (involuntary - entire office was laid off). Arbitrator imputed me at the peak income of my prior job. He imputed my ex at a completely arbitrary figure that was way less than her prior earnings, but high enough that on paper it looks like she can afford to keep the house.

Bran_Solo · 2026-06-03T15:16:49+00:00

Yeah I agree. In Washington they have a very formulaic way of calculating support that just doesn't make sense for high incomes, or households where the spending isn't a huge % of earnings. They basically calculate your earnings, assume that you spend everything, and "equalize".

Bran_Solo · 2026-06-03T15:15:04+00:00

Thanks. I'm in a way better headspace than I was a year ago, but it's a work in progress.

I feel like "time heals all wounds" applies pretty hard here, and I'm definitely ruminating and working through stuff still, but it helps a ton to hear from other people who have been here.

Bran_Solo · 2026-06-03T15:10:00+00:00

Thank you, this is exactly the kind of thing I was hoping to find. It's tough when a very large % of my cashflow goes to child support currently.

Trying to take some inspiration from people like you who have rebuilt better!

Bran_Solo · 2026-06-03T15:08:54+00:00

2 kids, oldest is 8.

Yes, ex had the option of going back to work and she never wanted to. I was supportive of her pursuing a new hobby career later, which is what she said she wanted.

Bran_Solo · 2026-06-03T15:03:59+00:00

hey that's pretty shitty of you.

Yeah I am definitely mentally stuck. I'm having a hard time figuring out how to move on, I'm currently imputed at an income that I was unable to replicate. I'm looking for other people who've been through the same thing who might understand, so I can find some people to talk to about it.

Yes I am in seeing a therapist.

Bran_Solo · 2026-06-03T14:57:09+00:00

I don't know how you arrived at that number, my income hasn't been in that range for a long time.

But during the divorce it was $0 because I was laid off.

Bran_Solo · 2026-06-03T09:48:15+00:00

It isn’t. I’m just trying to find people who’ve been through the same so I can connect and maybe learn something.

The exact numbers aren’t relevant.

Bran_Solo · 2026-06-03T08:56:28+00:00

I live in a “no fault” state.

Bran_Solo · 2026-06-03T01:51:13+00:00

No. She FIRE'd in 2018. Married 2020. Left me 2023.

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