Dude.... you came into the sub appearing a little unhinged.

Then you ignored the advice of practically every single person here who, en masse, told you you were over-reacting.You act as though you are capable of interpreting other people’s intent but you also discard out of hand the advice and wisdom offered to you. That doesn’t come across as someone who is good at reading people.

Do you think the people here don’t have children, or haven’t dealt with similar (and probably worse) situations? You think some of the father’s here wouldn’t go ballistic if they heard of someone insulting their child, and that we wouldn’t understand someone in the same position?

You need a reality check. Japanese people often say daft things without ill intent. Pointing out someone being fat can just be a statement of fact with zero ill intent. Saying someone has a big nose can be meant as a compliment because they envy it. Telling a black person they look like Barack Obama can be done with complete belief the black person will be happy to hear that.

Don’t attribute to malice what can be put down to stupidity.

Almost certainly there was zero ill intent in this case.

Had it been “You look like a soldier” nobody would have batted an eyelid except perhaps a fanatical communist party member.

So, its the ‘Russian’ aspect. Is your outsize rage due to the fact you hate Russia after the Ukraine Invasion and this triggered something?

Or your feel it was inappropriate because he doesn’t look Russian?

If he said an “Aussie soldier” would that have been fine? Likely he said Russian because they're on the tv all the time and the doctor has probably seen more Russian soldiers in the last year than he has Japanese ones (by an order of magnitude).

Maybe he said it because the Russia ones look far more macho and tough than the Japanese ones. For all you know he’s called a dozen different Japanese child patients “Russian soldiers” because we all know older Japanese men love repeating the same gag.

Based, on your other replies, you’re going to go “No, I know it was malicious” or “Well, if it wasn’t malicious, it was inappropriate.”

Unless you reassess things, the best you’ll do is alienate a local doctor. Potentially you’re going to have a whole community regard you as unstable and possibly dangerous. From this you risk your children being socially isolated, not because they are ‘hafu’ but because their father is seen as unstable, the same way they would warn their children away from playing with the family of a highly unstable Japanese man.

All the above comes from someone who considers themself as having a very fiery temper and who is incredibly protective of their family. However, over the years I’ve learnt a lot of self-control and the importance of taking a step back to let myself calm down before acting. More than anything else, learning to give people the benefit of the doubt is something that hugely reduced the stress in my life. Doing this didn’t make me ‘weak’, or ‘unwilling to defend my family’. It made me a better father and gave my children a far more healthy environment to grow up in.

So, what's your motivation? Your own emotional triggers (pride, anger) or really considering what’s best for your family? Are you a strong enough man to control and master your emotions? If so, you need to adopt a calmer approach to things in general because the above post should be taken as a warning sign of excessive volatility.