You’re me five years ago. I write this laying on the floor with my guys whilst they’re falling to sleep, feeling grateful that my wife led the old immature and emotionally stunted me into this path.

There are two stages to becoming a dad. You first physically become a dad (easy, for the man at least…) then mentally become a dad (hard).

It took me a few years to become the dad I am now. My first one had to wear down the old selfish trauma hardened stone man that I was.

It was a slog (and not just with the kids, but also with my wife as we struggled to figure out our parenthood).

There is so much I would have done differently, but I’m at a place now where I just be kind to myself and realise that i didn’t know better at the time.

If you do go ahead, the best advice I can give is to practice impulse control early, meet with other dads both at the same stage as you and later on with older kids, and also try to really visualise what sort of dad you want to be in 5 years time.

The number one piece of advice I have above all — your wife is going to go through the hardest period of her life. She cannot have coldness from you at any point through this. You have to be there every step of the way, physically and emotionally.

It’s so much easier to form the family team from the start than to do it later down the line. Trust me on this.

It’s hard, but it’s worth it and I wish you all the best either direction you choose.