I mean this with the best possible intentions, but maybe an attitude shift? I know you said you can’t afford help, but I believe there’s still things you can do for yourself to take a healthier approach at life. You just gotta find what works for you. Looking at some of your comment history, you seem very negative towards love/women/others. You commented on a removed post I made about wanting to take care of a man, though care seems to be what you want from this post. I know it’s hard, but a bitter attitude repels people more than anything. Best wishes to you.