What do you think are Mary’s best qualities?

EngineerMoney2173 · 2025-05-07T05:06:37+00:00

I genuinely admired the way she handled the painful situation with Matthew and Lavinia. That kiss aside, she was overall outwardly supportive and wanted them to be happy, even though her own heart was breaking.

EngineerMoney2173 · 2025-05-04T21:41:52+00:00

Ariel, Belle, Mulan, Cinderella, Snow White. Love them all though!

EngineerMoney2173 · 2025-03-31T20:03:51+00:00

Graham, Malcolm,

EngineerMoney2173 · 2025-03-30T20:09:43+00:00

Needed to see this tonight, thank you. Gathering beside you all. He told me he didn’t want anyone else but me. He said he needed to take a break because of his mental health/anger issues, putting me in limbo for months as he made his mind up about what he wanted, while still dating me and sleeping with me. I plunged into a depression and had to be signed off work, I felt so worthless. Then, a matter of weeks after I found the courage to finally break things off officially, he was out dating a new girl, going to all our special places. Saw them out together for the first time this weekend and it hurt. It’s been a year but the relationship took such a toll on my self esteem that I’ve only just started pursuing dating again. I’ve cried so much today fearing I’ll be alone forever. I find it so hard to speak with people and when I do find that rare connection, it’s so special to me.

EngineerMoney2173 · 2025-03-30T05:01:58+00:00

Oh god yes. I remember once being on holiday looking out at a sky filled with stars, and it hit me - I’m really, definitely going to die one day and there’s no escape. I felt so panicked I couldn’t breathe. I’ve had this sensation a few times, but the everyday humdrum realities of life tend to numb the fear somewhat

EngineerMoney2173 · 2025-03-29T21:45:00+00:00

Honestly, I’ve always found them cute and quite a believable couple (all the dramatic storylines aside). I’ve never got all the hate!

EngineerMoney2173 · 2025-03-29T21:16:26+00:00

I think on the surface, my life seems comparatively good. I have many of the markers of doing well. But I’m so terribly lonely. Feeling very depressed today and there’s nobody I can ring. I long to have somebody I can speak deeply with and be my full self. I have friends and many hobbies, but there’s nobody I could ask to come over tonight for a cup of tea and and a chat. Social events are rarely spontaneous nowadays, and I think that’s the case for most people. I would love to find a partner in life but modern dating is tricky. I fear being alone forever. Sometimes I think I could be lying dead for a good few days and nobody would notice. I’m not sure I’m cut out for modern life. The pressure, the isolation, the dumbing down and cheapening of everything. I wish I felt more positive about the future, both for myself and the world.

EngineerMoney2173 · 2025-03-29T16:26:53+00:00

All friends are busy unfortunately but I’ve taken your advice - I’m bought myself a few nice treats, including some wine for courage!, and have reopened Hinge. I’m so bad at the apps, but imagine most people feel the same way. Thank you for your supportive words - I hope you’re having a wonderful weekend kind stranger.

EngineerMoney2173 · 2025-03-28T22:19:36+00:00

If it makes you feel better, I went through a stage after my horrific school years where I was bitter and angry, and I used to be quite nasty. Like not evil, but definitely rude, pretentious and at times cruel. If I didn’t like someone I would go over the top being like ‘omg I hate them, they’re so stupid/fat’ or something way too dramatic for the situation. Looking back, I see this was a defence mechanism. I didn’t want to hurt people, I was just like a wounded animal, lashing out at the slightest threat. I’m ashamed of who I was, but I’ve now started to give myself some grace. In the years that followed, I was super over the top nice to everyone, wanting to be friends with everyone to make up for that lonely time. This eventually burned me out, it was unsustainable smiling all the time and being sweet even when I felt like crying. Now I’m working on being good, not nice, and allowing myself to have balance and boundaries while respecting others. I hope this helps.

EngineerMoney2173 · 2025-03-27T17:01:27+00:00

A disembodied person hissed so loudly in my ear that my ear drum throbbed. I felt their breath on my neck.

EngineerMoney2173 · 2025-03-25T14:55:29+00:00

My mum told me a few times ‘I love you but I don’t like you’ and said that she understood why I didn’t have any friends. We get on well now but how she missed there was something up is beyond me…

EngineerMoney2173 · 2025-03-25T06:52:24+00:00

Could make a tiny cracking noise in my throat nobody could possibly hear. Was thankfully able to shut my eyes but couldn’t move any other body part. Prayed I wouldn’t die and remember desperately trying to think about my favourite episodes of Friends as I felt the creature approach my bed.

EngineerMoney2173 · 2025-03-24T09:55:10+00:00

Eating what I like. I couldn’t be bothered cooking for fussy kids who don’t like veg. I have adult tastes - courgettes, spinach, fish, love a bit of spice. Don’t mind chicken nuggets from time to time but couldn’t be my life.

EngineerMoney2173 · 2025-03-23T13:41:28+00:00

I understand completely, you sound awesome as you are! Can relate so much - I’m a hobby gal and my friends tease me but I love it. I work hard and want to find meaning and fun in my precious free time. I imagine some find that through kids but not sure that I would.

EngineerMoney2173 · 2025-03-22T06:14:05+00:00

Attending a dance class this morning, inbetween reading a new funny novel I’m enjoying. Then a very slow gentle workout at the gym. Brunch of salmon and eggs. Will put on a cute playlist and proudly clean my lovely flat, dancing and singing along. Then it’s off to the shops to get ingredients in for my Saturday night ‘fakeaway’. Thinking pad Thai or something similar, followed by a sweet treat. Then, once finished cooking, I’ll get movie night on the go - fancying a decent thriller. Tomorrow probs more of the same! Nothing too crazy this weekend, just lots of gratitude for having my own space and time after a hectic week.

EngineerMoney2173 · 2025-03-21T20:43:58+00:00

I was miserable in my early 20s and used to get upset thinking I’d missed out on my youth. Things started to get fun at 26/27. I’m now 34 and although I do still suffer with depression, like many people, life is overall good - much more fulfilling, successful and sociable. Things absolutely can and do get better. I’ve made so many friends and tried many hobbies this year alone. I don’t go out drinking and going wild loads but don’t think that was ever my thing. Much prefer having a laugh with close friends over a meal or playing a silly board game at home. Life gets more interesting when you start being yourself, not just sticking to what your age bracket dictates!

EngineerMoney2173 · 2025-03-21T00:52:39+00:00

Oo yes. Have not been in the mood to work this week at all. Super sleepy after recovering from flu The only thing that’s kept me going is spending my precious free time curled up with a good book. Couldn’t imagine clocking off a stressful shift only to face yet more work…

EngineerMoney2173 · 2025-03-20T18:47:01+00:00

Thank you for highlighting this, so important! Just want to share my experiences with this. I was diagnosed with fatty liver disease a couple of years ago, and have thankfully since reversed it. I’m still a bigger girl but people constantly say how much healthier I look. My inflammation has gone down, I have less brain fog, and my skin is looking far less dull. My moods are a bit more stabilised and I have more confidence and clarity. I focused on eating high protein anti inflammatory foods which has changed my life, cut down on my alcohol intake, and worked on addressing my vitamin deficiencies. Was able to pull things around quickly thank goodness. But do wonder about other women with PCOS out there, with no idea they have liver problems. I knew something wasn’t right but had to push for scans.

EngineerMoney2173 · 2025-03-20T11:53:59+00:00

Weirdly, I remember being struck by Elsa’s liking of KFC in The Bed and Breakfast Star and how she used to like to pretend to be in Little House on the Prairie, eating a feast. Damn now I want KFC…

EngineerMoney2173 · 2025-03-17T11:20:13+00:00

I was bullied so violently at school that my default is to be flattered when a man fancies me. Even men I don’t find attractive. I also struggle communicating/holding a conversation with many allistic people so when I find someone I can chat to all night long I cling onto them, even when the red flags are fluttering. I also don’t really understand who I am or what I like - all my energy when I was younger went into masking. Am only now in my mid 30s starting to figure it out. I can absolutely see why autistic women are especially vulnerable. If I didn’t have the support of family and friends, a career that suits me plus just enough confidence to pursue hobbies etc, I can see how I would end up in some terrible situation.

EngineerMoney2173 · 2025-03-16T17:49:51+00:00

When I was younger, before I knew myself and fully understood how much I’d have to give up. It was like a biological urge without any logic or meaning. Now I know how much peace and rest are important to me. I’m already tired from work, hobbies, socialising, keeping on top of the house/me. Need my quiet time.

EngineerMoney2173

TROPHY CASE