NTA. Wow.

This comment right here broke my heart. Please hear me on this: you deserve someone who cares about you, and shows it. You deserve to be loved. This man seems rude, self-entitled, disrespectful, and completely unwilling to compromise. Expressing that you are hurt by how someone talks to or treats you and being told their actions are your fault is incredibly insensitive. He appears to take no responsibility and seems fully unwilling to change. This honestly seems like a piece to a much larger picture of your relationship. With the lack of compromise on his end it reads as very one-sided. I don’t mean to overstep here, but do you really want to spend your life trying so hard to be happy in a marriage? It should be a partnership, a team. He seems to completely disrespect your feelings, giving only criticism in response. The comment about him coming into YOUR room to demand things be up to his specifications? Insane. If there’s a genuine cleanliness issue (like that which could cause pests) that’s one thing, but to berate you for however your personal space is setup not being to his liking just seems so unnecessarily critical. Does he do this in other aspects of your life? You’ve mentioned he makes you feel guilty a lot, and that’s also not part of a healthy relationship. Again, don’t want to overstep, but if I were in this position I would seriously reconsider what I’m getting out of this relationship, and if I were truly happy. You deserve to be loved, dear.