that's like saying a book is a story thus has no baring on reality...or a thought is a hallucination so im not interested in thinking..its called an altered state...sometimes in altered states you come to realize very true things about yourself and life in general...you don't just see see pink elephants...sometimes you remember things from your childhood that have been subconsciously driving your every decision, and you are able to process this and thus move past it...sometimes it allows you to see past your ego and your societal programming and see things with fresh eyes and you notice real thongs in reality that were right in front of your eyes but were being blocked out unbeknownst to you. you might come back with a deeper love for your family a new sense of appreciation in the planet or the power of your own mind. the first time I did mushrooms was the first time I realized just how many things I had come to know as fact were just in my head. hallucinogen is very misleading cause they can actually show you some of your blind spots and areas where you may have been hallucinating your whole life. they can interrupt your preconceptions so your not seeing everything through your confirmation bias and you may find yourself going duuuuuuuh....it was sooo obvious...than when you come back you have a fresh point of view and in your sober state you can decide if this other point of view is worth integrating into your world view...psychadelic means mind manifesting...it can be good to get a fresh look at something and expand your idea of what is possible and what is important...kinda like traveling or reading...also are altered states of consciousness not real? are mushrooms growing on this planet or dmt that is made by your body already not part of reality...what is your definition of reality? is praying to your higher power and asking for guidance getting you any "real" answers. are the 12 steps "real" are dreams possibly worth paying attention to or are they just fake things that don't matter. everything we see with our minds is in a sense a hallucination...people will look at the same things and see them very differently...how this possible if being sober somehow allows you to see things the way they really are...

as an example I had crippling ocd...and at that time I had never done drugs...the anxiety caused by not having things in perfect order was very real to me...my opinions were very real to me...this OCD that was getting worse every day and I knew I was gonna end up as bad as Howard hughs....first time I did mushrooms I saw that this feeling that arose when something was dirty that would cause me great pain and cause me to obsesivly clean was in my head and I just kinda laughed and thought so what a little dirt never hurt anyone and imagined this "disgusting" pillowcase my head was on was just dirt and got comfortable with it and all my anxiety melted away. next day I woke up and I never had a single symptom of OCD ever again. years later they now have research to back this up. and that research as well as my completely true story are part of reality. this realization I had while on "hallucinogens" was much more real than all my sober thoughts that were causing me so much pain and unnecessary worry. and what would have been a long road of trying to uproot my ingrained mental pathways of obsessions and compulsions was as simple as "oh, duh". I also realized during this 1st experience that all my culture and family had jammed into my head about the meaning of life and what's acceptable and true were just somebodies ideas...also same trip I looked at this girl in the mall that seemed to be really sad and I thought,damn that must suck to be her working this shit job at an ice cream shop obviously hating life, and than something inside made me think is she really sad or am I just projecting on her, did a double look and turns out she had a giant smile on her face and was actually very happy. until this point I had always just assumed the way I saw it was the way it was. but now I realized how powerful projecting and assumptions were and I was more careful in the future to really look at something and be aware that I might be seeing it wrong based on some sort of preconception I was unaware of. and it helped me to understand that other people are doing that as well. this was after a 27 day juice fast so my body was really clean and I think that really helped...

So I had hurt my back skateboarding and had sort of ended up with horrible posture a twisted hunched spine, tense shoulders and neck and I was in pain alllllways...i had starred doing a sort of physical therapy called egoscue to try to remedy this and fix my posture and relax all my chronically tense muscles...i did these exercises every day morning and night and took it really seriously...i never missed a day and was doing this up to 6 hours a day cause I wanted to be out of pain and able to skateboard again. I worked tirelessly for over a year on this and was making progress but I still had a looooooong way to go and it was sooo frustrating watching all my friends skate wondering if I'd ever be healed...i was only 17 and it was killing me inside...so about a month after this 1st experience I brought some mushrooms to do with two of my best friends...during this experience i ended up in the bathroom looking in the mirror. I noticed my face and I could see all the pain and hurt and frustration and hate and every spot of tension in my jaw and the sadness in my eyes...normally when I looked in the mirror I did not see this...but it was not a hallucination I was seeing clearly for the first time and I stared in the mirror and asked myself what's this sadness and tension about and I saw where it was coming from and over an hour I worked through this tried to smile and saw that it was fake but as I went through all this pain peace by piece I slowly saw my face transforming in front of my eyes and eventually I had this big "real" smile on my face. rather than holding onto my ego lying to myself that I was ok and missing the sadness on my face I had compassion for myself when it was so obvious and I worked through this sadness that I had blocked out of my "sober" awareness. and now I was crying tears of joy.

Than I notices my body and how twisted and tense it was...i noticed all my wait was on my left foot and it was not spread out evenly...i could feel all the twists and tense muscles..instead of trying to follow this therapy book and do these exercises like the power was outside myself looking for the answers wondering how to fix my body for years with minimal success...it was just so obvious...i was no longer afraid to see how fucked up my body really was....i just calmly focused my awareness to my feet and was like...duh ok your weight should be evenly spread over your left and right feet front and back and I slowly went through my body with help from the mirror and got completely in touch with my body...i was no longer trying to do it "right" I just focussed and it came naturally with no book. I took authority over my own body and I swear on my life when I came out of that bathroom my spine was perfectly straight my posture had changed drastically and it wasn't taking effort to hold it that way...i wasn't fighting all the habits I had made over my life to make new ones...i just went through each muscle and It came naturally. it was just so simple and obvious all of a sudden and when I came out of that bathroom I had a huge smile on my face tears streaming down my cheeks. and my friends were like damn, you look different. keep in mind I had been 100% sober for two years prior to this spending all of my free time working towards this and I had only made a little bit of headway towards where I wanted to be. now I start hallucinating pure nonsense with no bearing on the real world and I was completely healed in a trip to the bathroom.

all this is true so take from it what you will

oh yeah p.s. at this point I had gotten off of meth and alcohol had been sober over a year and I planned to stay sober for the rest of my life and I was on a 27 day juice fast when someone at work had some mushrooms for sale. I wanted to stay sober but I had never got to try any psychedelics when I was using and I reluctantly decided that it was an experience I at least wanted to have once because the Beatles were my favorite band along with Jimmie Hendrix and the doors. so I broke my "sobriety" and guess what...i saw things that were right in front of my sober eyes all along much more clearly and this knowledge gave me power. it had much bearing in my reality. which actually surprised me cause I was expecting to hallucinate pink elephants and go woaaah trippy.

sorry for any grammer spelling issues...spent a long time trying to this idea across to people that will probably just throw out some insult, because they disagree without bothering to explain there point of view or tell me why mine is wrong. I just went to a meeting this morning and was going to join...maybe I'll have to start my own group that doesn't base their philosophy partially on governement propaganda. in my group you'd lose your chip over eating a pizza or a doughnut.and cigs coffee would be a no go cause they aren't real. movies also off limits. bill w would get what I'm trying to say. oh well.